"Don't push your luck."
He feigned offense. "I'm hurt that you think I would."
"I'd be much more surprised if you didn't."
"I think if you were really soulmates with Jonah, you would like him more," Niall said.
I blinked.
"And I don't think you like him. Even as a friend. You might've liked him before he was the Beta, and before he was around Gwen again, but you said you coached her on getting him back."
"That was a lapse in judgment."
"You don't make lapses in judgment. If you gave her advice, it's because you think they should be together."
"Possibly," I acquiesced.
I did make lapses of judgment, though.
I thought Niall would save my life at any cost, and he hadn't. I thought we were perfect together, and we weren't. Not in the end.
I thought he was mine, even if fate disagreed.
"Don't look at me like that," he said.
"Like what."
"Like you hate me."
"I don't hate you, Niall. I couldn't if I tried. I just hate the choice you made."
"It never felt like I was making a choice. You were both unconscious, but I had my fingers on your pulse, and I could feel your magic as much as I could feel the spell. I knew you had enough power to complete it. I knew you weren't going to die."
"That's not even possible. No one can feel someone else's magic to that degree, and I felt myself burning out."
He jerked his head in a nod. "Maybe I read it wrong, but your heartbeat didn't stop, or even slow down. If it had, I would've done what I had to do."
"It would've been too late. With my magic fully drained, I couldn't have recovered."
"I knew you weren't anywhere near fully drained. The magic wasn't flowing out that fast."
"We're never going to agree on this. Regardless of your perspective on what happened, I very nearly died, and you made a bet with my life to save Larson's."
Maybe it was messed up to expect a mate who could value my life above everything else. But fuck it, what was the point of love if it didn't make me someone's priority?
"It never felt like I was choosing him over you. It felt like you had the power to get through the spell, and you did. I don't know how you could think I would sacrifice you, when Larson was already dying. Why would I risk losingbothof the only two people in this world that I love?"
Not loved.
Love.
Like he still felt that way about me.
He couldn't, though. Right?
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I need to get on the bike," I said. "My magic is getting all pissy."
"I know. I feel it. Just… think about it."
