But it wasn’t enough.
He wasn’t enough.
Ramin shook himself. He was probably just feeling this way because of all the sex. Sex released oxytocin, and oxytocin made you feel close to your partner, made you feel euphoric, made you feel like you were in… well. Either way, he was crashing after a huge high. He was blowing everything out of proportion. He and Noah were barely together. This whole thing was new. Hell, Noah had never even donebutt stuffbefore. Noah was probably reeling from hormones, too.
That’s what Ramin kept telling himself as he headed back to the hotel to check out.
thirty-nine
Noah
Turin was like a smaller, cozier Milan—similar architecture, similar vibes, similar weather—only more closed off. The streets were narrower. The people were quieter. The city had secrets it wasn’t willing to give up.
Or maybe Noah just didn’t have time to figure them out, running out of the station and into a cab, breathlessly giving the hospital’s address to the driver.
Noah kept checking his phone, and he couldn’t honestly say if he was waiting to hear from Angela or Ramin. Or both. His neck and shoulders were tight with worry about Jake, even though Angela had insisted everything was fine. And his stomach was heavy with how he’d left things with Ramin.
He’d messed up, he knew that, but he didn’t know what he could’ve done differently. He didn’t know how he could fix this.
He texted Angela when the cab finally dropped him off.
Noah
Here
Angela
Room 1701
He’s awake
The elevator moved like molasses. Noah’s head swam with the smell of antiseptic. His skin turned to gooseflesh in the cool air. His heart hammered. He hadn’t been to a hospital since… goodness, had it really been Jake’s birth?
When the doors opened on the seventeenth floor, Noah beelined to Jake’s room. Or he tried to, at least. He got turned around twice, his anxiety mounting steadily, until he finally found it.
It wasn’t until he saw his son, alert and awake and sitting up in bed reading the latest Ellie Engle book, that his lungs started working again.
“There’s my guy.” Noah crossed the room in two large strides to hold his son. He stopped himself from crushing Jake with the hug he wanted to give and settled instead for a gentle embrace, a kiss on the forehead, a ruffle of Jake’s soft hair. “How are you feeling, buddy?”
“I’m okay,” Jake said without looking up.
“The doctors said the surgery went perfectly. No complications.” Angela stood by the couch, rolling out her neck and grimacing. Noah let go of Jake to give her a hug.
“I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“Why? You made good time.” She cocked her head. “Where’s Ramin?”
“Ramin’s coming?” Jake perked up.
Noah swallowed. “No, buddy. He wanted to, but I…”
What could he say?
Jake’s face fell. Noah tried not to think about why.
“We were in a hurry. Sorry.”
Angela gave him a bewildered look. “A hurry? I told you, everything was fine.”
