She winces as if I slapped her. “I knew he was after you. You kept wondering why I didn’t want him around you, now you know why. I couldfeelyou turning to him.”
“He didn’t do thistome, Kara. But obviously I can’t marry you if I have these feelings for Jude.”
“I’m not buying that he’s innocent. You’re just confused because he seduced you.”
“He didn’t. He never approached me as anything but my friend.” That’s true too. I’m the one who kissed him. Not the other way around. Oh, he responded, but I initiated it. I doubt Jude ever would have crossed that line first. “But what I feel for him isn’t friendship now. Which is why I have to break up with you.”
“But you and I had sex just a few days ago.” She looks bewildered. “You seemed really into it.”
“I thought I was in love with you. You’re gorgeous and I do care about you. I’m probably bisexual.” I sigh. “But what I feel for you isn’t enough. I don’t love you the way I should if we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together, honey.”
“Don’t call me honey.”
“I’m sorry.” I grimace. “It’s a habit.”
She sits down, looking deflated. “Even though I knew something was wrong, I… I can’t believe you’re leaving me forJude. That sneaky little asshole.”
It’s hard not to flinch under her disgusted stare. “Please don’t call him names, Kara. He’s done nothing wrong. Jude doesn’t even know I’m breaking up with you.”
She narrows her eyes. “He doesn’t know?”
I shake my head. “No. I just figured it out last night. When I saw him with Ben… it killed me. I was jealous.”
“You were definitely acting weird,” she mutters.
“I know.” I join her on the couch, feeling drained. I meet her wounded gaze. “I’m really so sorry. I know that isn’t enough but I don’t know what else to say. I feel horrible, Kara. I swear. I’m confused and I don’t understand myself right now. The only thing I do know is I never wanted to hurt you, but because I was in denial, I did.” I rake a hand through my hair. “I hung onto our relationship like a lifeline, praying nothing had to change.”
Her face softens ever so slightly. “You have seemed pretty moody lately.”
“I have been moody. I’ve been an asshole.”
She gives the tiniest hint of a smile. “Don’t make me laugh. I’m trying to hate you.”
“Sorry.”
“I really love you,” she says softly. “I can’t believe you’re dumping me.”
I hold her sad gaze. “It’s the only respectful way to handle things.”
She scowls. “You mean because you wanthim.”
I don’t respond. I just stare at her. I do want Jude, but I have no idea if he wants me anymore. It’s possible he’s too into Ben now. Maybe he sees a future with Ben and only Ben.
She lets out a shaky breath, looking a little calmer. “You said he doesn’t know you’re here breaking up with me. Does that mean he doesn’t know you want to be with him?”
I nod. “Yeah. I wanted to do this first. You deserve to know the truth before anyone else.”
“Damn right I do.” She lifts her chin.
“Please don’t hate me, Kara,” I say softly. “You still mean so much to me.”
She drops her chin to her chest, looking sad again. “I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me. We were so good together.”
“I can’t help how I feel.”
She scowls. “Fucking Jude. I knew he was trouble the second you let him move in with you.” She stands and goes to the dining room table where there’s a bottle of wine open on the table. She grabs it and brings it and two wine glasses over to the couch.
She pours us wine, scowling. “I loved your family so much. What now? Do I not get to see them anymore?”
