“They love you too. I don’t know why you guys couldn’t still be close.”
She squints at me. “You think I can still go to your parent’s house for Christmas now?”
“My family would love it if you did.”
She laughs harshly. “If you end up with Jude, Christmas would be pretty fucking awkward.” She gulps her wine. “I guess I’ll have to go to my parent’s house in California now. Just so I don’t have to watch you and fucking Jude smooching across the fucking table.”
“I think you’ve said ‘fuck’ more in the last five minutes than you have the entire time we dated.”
“Well, I’m pissed, Liam.” She gives me a grumpy look. “You just ruined my entire life plan. Forgive me if I’m a potty mouth tonight. I earned it.”
I laugh because I can’t help it. Kara has always made me laugh. “I really do care about you. I hope you know that.”
“Sure,” she mumbles. “It’s just that you care about Jude more. God, Iknewit.”
I wince. “I’m sorry.”
“Well, I don’t forgive you,” she says. “Not yet. It’s way too soon. I’m heartbroken, Liam.” Her eyes fill with tears and she pours more wine in her glass.
“Slow down, hone—Kara. I don’t want you to get sick.”
She wipes a tear away. “You can still call me honey, I give you permission, and if Jude doesn’t like it he can suck it. I had you first.”
“Okay, I’ll call you whatever you want me to.”
She looks pleased.
“I don’t want you to think I was faking my feelings for you,” I say quietly. “I sincerely do love you, Kara. It’s just not the type of love that I should have if we were going to get married, you know?”
She nods, blowing out a breath. “Yeah. I deserve to be loved for real.”
“Exactly.”
We’re quiet for a few moments, then she meets my gaze. “You’re seriously… sexually attracted to Jude?”
Heat rises from my neck to my face. “Do you really want to talk about that?”
Cuz, I don’t.
“Not really. I just don’t understand how you can suddenly like guys, but not know you like guys.” She bites her bottom lip, appearing puzzled. “It makes no sense to me.”
“It doesn’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense to me either. It’s just how it is. Something about Jude, it just feels right.” I grimace. “I don’t know. For all I know he’ll prefer being with Ben and I’ll just end up alone.”
She winces. “Even though that would serve you right, I hope not.”
“Really?” I ask, moving over to pull her into my arms. “You mean that, Kara?”
She wraps her arms around me and she nods. She sounds tearful when she at last says softly, “I do mean it because I love you too, Liam. And even if I don’t get to have you, I want you happy.”
My eyes sting as I hold her. “Thanks, Kara, for saying that. It means the world to me.”
“See what a catch I am?” She laughs tearfully. “You’re really passing up a good thing here, Liam.”
“Honey, I already knew that.”
****
When I get home, the house is dark. For one frustrated moment, I think Jude went to bed and that I’ll have to wait to talk to him. Then I see his outline in the chair in the corner of the living room. As I near, his eyes glitter and I smell the scent of sweat, pine needles, and frozen earth clinging to him. Underneath all of those earthy scents there’s the distinct musk of his wolf, which always lingers after shifting back.
