She couldn’t lose another.
She straightened in the seat, brushed trembling fingersthrough her hair, pulled in breaths that felt too heavy tocarry. Fought for control, when she felt as if she’d left it all on that white-rowed hillside the day before.
“You won’t say anything,” she commanded, knowing hervoice didn’t sound commanding at all.
“Of course not,” Tony assured her.
They pulled to a stop, and all the adults began to descend. But for a second before she had to face them, Claire had another task to handle. Reaching over, she laid a hand on Tony’s arm.
He turned to her with some surprise.
Claire struggled for composure. For at least the appearance of composure, when what she wanted to say to thisman was so much more than what she ever could.
“Thank you,” she said, and saw the caution in his eyesmelt into something far more intimate. Far more sweet andtender and perfect. She opened her mouth, trying to find thewords to tell him what he had given her, what she hadwished, what she still wished. The words in the end simplyweren’t enough.
It didn’t seem to matter. Laying his hand over hers, Tonysmiled, and in that smile, said everything.
“Whatever else goes on,” he said. “I meant what I said.I love you.”
Tears threatened past her hard work, but the tears always seemed close lately, as if they were only lying in wait.Claire fought through them to give Tony what she could.The same words he’d given her, because she knew that moreclearly than anything. No matter what happened, no matter what she could or couldn’t do, she loved him. She wouldalways love him.
“Mom! Mom! Are you okay? We were so worried aboutyou!”
The chance disappeared and the world descended. Giving her hand a final squeeze, Tony opened his door anddistracted the welcoming committee.
“Her car broke down,” he said simply, just as he hadwhen he’d phoned Peaches on the road. “We’re gonna getit later.”
Claire almost slumped with relief. She never got thechance. Her door was unceremoniously yanked open, and she was surrounded by anxious eyes and busy mouths andpuckered faces. Jess threw herself into her mother’s arms,Johnny stood alongside and patted her on the shoulder, andPeaches and Nadine assumed comically identical positions,with arms folded and frowns solidly in place, as if celebration were too much to ask for after what they’d beenthrough.
“I’m sorry,” Claire managed, wrapping her daughter intoher embrace and soaking in the scent of her. “I left early forwork to drive off a little energy and got caught.”
“Nowyou’ll get that car phone, won’t you?” Peachesdeclared.
Claire gave him the best smile she had. “Now I will.”
She should have felt more centered. She always did whenshe walked back into the inn. It was her haven, her respite,reconstructed and decorated to be an island of peace.
She still couldn’t control her emotions. She couldn’t stopthe need to flee, the desire to take Tony by the hand and escape all over again.
“I made you some tea,” Jess offered. “And Peachesmade lemon tarts this morning.”
“Thank you, baby,” Claire accepted, following the crowdthrough the door into her kitchen. “That sounds wonderful.”
“Mom, what do you have those for?” Johnny asked frombehind. “Are they Dad’s?”
Claire had forgotten that she still carried her bag. Sheclosed it in her hands so no one could really see it until she could get it safely away.
“Oh, I...”
“No,” Tony answered for her. “They’re mine. Thanks,Claire. I almost forgot them.”
She surrendered them with hands that shook, glad herchildren wouldn’t know a medical ribbon from a combatribbon. Ashamed at her own deceit. She didn’t lie to herchildren.
Not about anything else, anyway.
She just wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not with Nadineand Pete and Bea here. Not when she felt so poorly stitchedtogether.
Not when she looked up to see the expression on Johnny’s face.
