Claire paled. “John Samuel Henderson,” she accused ina hot mother’s voice. “How dare you?”
Johnny spun on her. “Please, Mom. He’s not involved inthis.”
“Yes,” she said, eye to eye with her baby, “he is involved in this. Now, either apologize to him or forget we’veever talked.”
She was shaking. Johnny was shaking. Tony stood in thedoorway, quiet and passive as if her son hadn’t just insulted him.
“You don’t understand...” Johnny pleaded.
Claire couldn’t take much more. “I do understand,” shesaid gently. “I just can’t agree. Not now. Not while this isgoing on.”
Johnny took his own look at the television. Bit back somecomment he wanted to make. Whirled at Tony with all theconfusion a seventeen-year-old boy could manage and bit out an apology.
“I still need some help, if you don’t mind,” Tony saidquietly.
Johnny stalked past him without a word. Claire closed hereyes and listened to the reporters on the television wonder whose son this was being dragged through the streets of aforeign country.
“Claire? Are you okay?” Tony asked quietly.
She wanted to run to him. To fold herself in his armswhere she was safe. Where for just that moment their scarsdidn’t matter.
“No,” she admitted, and opened her eyes. “I’m not. I’mtrying, but I’m not.”
The screen door shushed shut behind him as he walked upand slipped his arms around her. “What can I do to help?”he asked.
Claire laid her head against his chest and just rested. “Doyou really think it might help if I talked to the othernurses?”
He never hesitated. “The Richmond vet center has a really good women’s group. I’ve met a couple people there,and I think you’d like them.”
She reared her head back, trying so hard to be outraged.“You did all that, huh?”
She should have been furious. She didn’t have room forit right now. Especially when she hurt so badly and his smilewas so sweet.
“I’m like the library, Claire. Information’s all there forthe asking. But I’d never walk into your house and demandthat you read.”
She laughed. She couldn’t believe it. She felt as if she were going to break open, and she laughed. It was Tony’s gift, hismiracle, that he could coax her out onto the precipice andmake her look forward to looking down.
“I have been thinking about the people I worked withover there,” she admitted. “I didn’t think about them for along time.”
He nodded. “I know. It took me damn near fifteen yearsjust to find out if any of my buddies had made it back to theworld. Before that, I just pretended they’d never existed.”
Claire closed her eyes. Soaked in the sound of his steadybreathing. Admitted what she never had. “It’s so muchsafer that way.”
“But it’s so much better this way.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, Claire. It is.”
She nodded, wishing with all her heart that she couldknow that her children would be all right so she could afford the luxury of time for herself. She wished she knew howto protect them from it all. She’d tried to protect them from Sam, and that hadn’t seemed to work. It hurt her too badlyto think she’d have to protect them from her, as well.
“I can’t hurt my babies,” she said without thinking.
“You could never hurt your babies,” he answered, andClaire thought she believed him.
“Maybe,” she said with a slow breath for courage, “wecould talk about this some more.”
“I think that would be a great idea.”
