For a long while after Tony left to finish that work on theinn, Claire sat at her kitchen table and thought about whathe’d said. What he’d offered. A women’s group. Nurses whounderstood what she’d seen, who wouldn’t think less of herbecause her nightmares weren’t worthy. It was such a terrible temptation, like seeing another war on the television andnot being able to turn away.
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to sleep. Shewanted to know that the friends she’d made in that terribleplace had come home safe and sane.
She was too afraid to find out.
She’d been to The Wall. She’d never gotten close enough to read the names.
She wanted to find a way for Johnny to be happy without taking away her only support on sanity.
As long as my children are safe, I’ll be okay. It hadworked for almost eighteen years. Claire wasn’t sure itwould last much longer.
She was watching the television again. More news, more footage. More outrage at the intimate face of war. Jess and Gina were due to get back from horseback riding down theroad so they could have dinner. When she heard the carturning into the driveway, Claire figured they were home.When she heard it skid and then slam to a stop, she figuredthey were not only home but in big trouble.
Claire got to her feet and turned off the television. Jessdidn’t deal with this kind of thing well, and she was still recovering from almost killing her new best friend’s father.Hopefully she and Gina had spent a lovely afternoon. Theymight even spend a nice evening, after they survived thepunishment Claire was about to mete out for reckless driving.
When the door slammed open, though, it wasn’t Jess andGina who stumbled in. Claire turned around at the sound ofa little choked sob and knew that her brief equilibrium wasover.
“Pete?” she asked, already heading for the boy. “Honey?What’s wrong?”
He looked dazed, cold, his eyes glittering like glass.“Wrong?” he echoed stupidly. “Oh, wrong...”
Claire reached him, settled a hand on his shoulder. Felt him startle like a rabbit. “Pete...” She was getting scarednow.
He finally looked at her, and his eyes filled with tears.“It’s my daddy,” he said. “He’s dead.”
