Her eyes filled with remorse. “I’m the one who should apologize. The way I acted was unfair to you. I’m an emotional wreck. Please don’t take anything I say, or do, personally.” She was quiet for a moment then asked, “Where were you all evening?”
Jake let out a sigh. “Riding, then I spent a couple hours cleaning out the equipment shed.”
“Did you stay away because of me?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t want to make whatever you were struggling with harder.”
“Apparently, it doesn’t matter whether you’re off riding or sitting beside me, I feel... things. Things that are hard for me to process right now. You’ve been wonderful, Jake, but I need you to not be quite so wonderful and compassionate.” She gave him a weak smile as if she knew her words didn’t really make sense.
His brow creased. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Of course you don’t, because it’s part of your nature.” She pointed a finger at him and gave him a stern look. “Don’t kiss me anymore. I like it too much, but I can’t handle that kind of distraction right now.”
Jake’s heart tried to jump out of his chest. He bit his lip to keep from laughing. It was nice to know she enjoyed the kisses as much as he did. “No more kissing,” he acknowledged with a nod. “Can I brush your hair? And make you hot cocoa?”
Emily sighed. “I guess so, but I should say no to the hair brushing, because I like that too much too.”
So do I.
He bit back another smile. “Can I hold you when you’re upset?”
“That’s like all the time.” Then recognizing he was teasing, she smiled. “Only when I’m crying. That will cut the holding in half at least.”
Relieved she wasn’t completely pulling away from him, he leaned forward. “So, did you have a bad dream? Is that why you’re up? Should I get the hairbrush? Or would you rather the hot cocoa?”
“Neither.” She gave him a scowl that made her look adorable. “I didn’t have a bad dream. I haven’t been to sleep yet.” Letting out a deep sigh, she rubbed her brow. “I need to write Cameron’s obituary.”
“Oh.” Jake took in the over-sized sweatshirt she wore—the one she’d taken from her brother’s apartment—along with another scrapbook that sat on her lap. He shifted from the ottoman to sit beside her on the couch. “I’d offer to help, but since I didn’t know him, all I can offer is moral support.”
“That’s what I mean by not being so compassionate.” She shook her head and smiled. Then she scowled again. “Why do you always have to smell... and look... so good?”
Jake didn’t even try to hide his smile this time. “You can thank Lottie. She buys my soap and deodorant.”
Emily scowled. “I will do no such thing. The last thing she and your mother need is encouragement.”
Agreeing, he pointed at the scrapbooks. “Will you tell me about Cameron?”
A sad smile lit her face. “He was the best big brother. He always looked out for me. He was brilliant, but rather naive and gullible at times because he didn’t have a malicious bone in his body. He was handsome in a computer geek sort of way.” She continued to talk as she opened the first of the two scrapbooks she held on her lap.
Jake saw pictures of Cameron winning spelling bees and science fairs. Occasionally, there were family photos among the snapshots and pictures of Emily and Cameron as young children and preteens. He saw photos of smiling, happy children on their grandpa’s ranch and family vacations.
Emily lifted another page, then shut the book before Jake saw what was on the page.
“Is something wrong?”
“I’m... not sure... I want you to see anymore right now.”
Something in her face told Jake she was embarrassed by the pictures, but he sensed a deeper emotion than just embarrassment. He wanted to know more about her, but was it wise to press the issue?
He kept his tone light when he spoke. “Come on, you got to see my pictures.”
“But you were always good looking. You never had braces or went through any ugly stages.”
“Are you trying to tell me you had braces and felt awkward as a teenager?”
“Glasses, braces... I was definitely... awkward, and I got teased plenty.”
“Can I see? I promise I won’t hold anything against you.”
