Chapter 20
Amy climbed into the truck, expecting Ben to start the engine, but he remained still, keys in hand.
“Is something wrong?”
“I think you should drive.” He dropped the keys in her lap.
“Me? Why?”
“The amount of sleeping pills I’ve taken in the last forty-eight hours is not conducive to driving.” He reached to open his door, but Amy grabbed his arm.
“How many pillshaveyou taken, Ben?”
He sighed. “Not enough to harm myself. Only enough to keep me sleeping... where I don’t think... or feel.” He climbed out and walked around the truck.
Amy lifted the center console and slid across the seat. She’d never driven such a large vehicle. She considered suggesting they take her car, but one look at Ben told her he wasn’t in the mood to argue.
“It’s an automatic, so it’s just like driving your car but bigger. You’ll do fine.”
His voice lacked the bitterness and disdain she’d heard since her arrival. Encourage, she started the engine and adjusted the seat and mirrors before putting the truck in gear.
Ben instructed her to pull into the diner and wait in the truck. Through the window, she watched Charity wrap Ben in a lengthy hug before she handed over his order. He returned with two bags tied at the top. Climbing in, he swung the bags into the backseat.
Following Ben’s instructions, Amy drove out of town. Her stomach sank when she realized they were headed to the Double Diamond. Was Ben doing what Melanie enjoyed, or was he trying to make Amy regret forcing him out of his apartment? Did he plan on riding horses?
Anxiety tightened her chest. She’d never ridden a horse before. Sure, it sounded fun, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to rely on Ben, in his current mood, to teach her. With him in a sleeping pill-induced haze, she sure hoped he wasn’t planning on riding ATVs or shooting guns.
When they arrived at the ranch, she pulled up near the stables as Ben instructed. The knot in her stomach grew when Ben reached over the seat for the bags he’d placed there and climbed out of the truck.
They walked to the side of the stable, even though the massive double-doors of the main entrance stood open. They found Jake saddling a horse tied to a hitching post. A second horse stood nearby, already saddled, with saddle bags attached. Ben went straight to the second horse and transferred the takeout containers to the saddle packs.
Trying to ignore the strong odor of horses and leather that made her stomach turn, Amy grabbed Jake’s arm. “I can’t do this.” She tried to whisper so Ben wouldn’t hear her, but her words came out a hiss.
Jake put his hands on her shoulders. “Relax. Honey is a gentle, patient horse, and Ben is experienced with horses. He won’t let anything happen to you.”
“But I haven’t... I’ve never... ridden a horse before.” Her whisper—bordering on hysterical—was certainly loud enough for Ben to hear.
Jake took her arm and led her into the tack room where the horse scent wasn’t as strong, but the leather smell intensified. “Listen, Amy, Ben told me Paige asked you to be his grief counselor today, and I have to say I think it’s a wonderful idea.”
Amy tried to find comfort in Jake’s words. “I’m not so sure. He’s in the foulest mood.”
“He deserves to be. The simple fact he is even doing this, and letting you come along, is like a cry for help. The first cry he’s made in a whole year.” He gave her a pointed look.
This was Ben’s first cry for help in a whole year? How had the man contained his grief for so long? She didn’t know how to help him face his pain. The prospect of trying overwhelmed her.
“I don’t think... I’m the best person... maybe you should ride with him.”
“No,” Jake insisted. “It needs to be you. He’s not likely to open up to me. He needs to talk about Melanie to someone who has never met her. Besides, we macho types find it difficult to share our feelings with each other.”
“I’m not sure he’ll even talk to me.”
“Be patient. Give him time. Ben needs this.” Jake squeezed her shoulder. “Besides, riding horses really was one of Melanie’s favorite things to do.”
Ben stepped into the tack room. “Jake, I think we need to borrow some boots, mine are in storage and Amy...” he glanced at Amy’s slip-on shoes and let his words die off.
Before Amy knew it, she wore one of Riley’s cowboy hats and a pair of her old boots. Jake demonstrated how to mount the horse, with one foot in the stirrup. She tried twice to pull herself up but failed to make it high enough to swing her leg over. On her third try, Jake’s hands encircled her waist, lifted her up, and deposited her in the saddle. Ben waited with an air of impatience, while Jake adjusted her stirrups and instructed her on how to use the reins to guide her horse.
“Keep the reins loose,” Jake said. Gesturing toward Ben’s horse, he added, “She’ll follow Apollo, no problem.”
