Ben looked away, his jaw clenching. Absently, he pressed a hand to his chest and rubbed. He was quiet for so long, and his face looked so grim, Amy was certain he would send her away.
“You’re seriously not going to leave me alone?” When she shook her head, he added, “Even if I promise not to crawl back into bed?”
“Nope.”
“Fine.” He let out a resigned sigh. “If I’m stuck with you, what are you planning on doing to help me make it through the day?”
“Well, first you need to shower.” Amy tried to act more confident than she felt. “I don’t think it appropriate to honor Melanie in your current condition.”
He glanced down at his clothes and grimaced. “Okay. Then what?”
“Today, you need to celebrate the life you had with Melanie. Do the things she would do if she were here and remember the good times you had with her. Eat her favorite foods. Go to her favorite places and think about her. And of course, you should take flowers to her grave.”
“Did you study psychology or something?”
“No, I just saw too many men trying to drown their sorrows in alcohol. It didn’t prove effective.”
Ben let out a deep sigh and stood. “Fine, I’ll shower. Make yourself... feel free to...” Ben looked around the room, taking in the dim, untidy hovel he called home. He finally waved a hand as though to dismiss it all, walked out of the room, and slammed the door behind him.
Amy flinched.It’s going to be a long day!
* * *
Ben spottedAmy at the sink as soon as he opened his bedroom door. She stood by the sink, washing his dishes. An open window let in fresh air, and a garbage bag sat by the door, waiting to be taken out.
She hadn’t heard him come out. So, he leaned against the door frame and took the opportunity to study her from behind. He liked the way her faded jeans hugged her hips. Warmth coursed through him as he remembered how perfectly she’d fit in his arms the night they kissed.
Stop it.You shouldn’t be thinking about how attractive Amy is—let alone kissing her—while mourning Melanie and Cassey.
Pain gripped his chest. How did he mourn for his daughter? She was alive, somewhere. He knew it. How did he mourn a piece of him, who was gone but not dead?
Paige’s words echoed in his mind. He’d tried to take her advice. It had been difficult, but he had yet to truly get his heart involved. That’s what Paige wanted him to do today. He didn’t want to get his heart involved. It hurt too much.
A clamp tightened around his chest. He’d avoided so many things for the past year because they reminded him of her. It was simply too painful.
Melanie deserved to be remembered. But wouldn’t spending the day doing things Melanie loved make him miss her more? Could he handle the pain that would come when he opened his heart and remembered all the wonderful things he missed about Melanie?
Could he do Melanie’s favorite things and remember her with another woman at his side. It felt wrong somehow. Thanks to Paige, Amy wasn’t likely to leave him alone today, so he needed to figure out how to make it through the day without thinking about the fact that the woman by his side wasn’t his wife.
Ben cleared his throat and walked into the room.
Amy jumped and turned, hands dripping. “You look much better.” She smiled as she studied him for a moment, then her cheeks turned rosy and she quickly turned back to the sink. “Give me a minute. I’m almost done.”
Why did she flush like that? Was there something wrong with the clothes he wore? He’d dressed for comfort, in jeans and a white t-shirt with a long-sleeved denim shirt layered over it. He had the sunglasses he knew he’d need in the breast pocket of his shirt. Not because it was sunny, but because at some point today he’d need his them to hide behind.
Ben walked to the window and shoved his hands in his pockets. He watched the cars passing. Life wasn’t fair. Those people out there had no idea how quickly it could come to a crashing halt.
“Okay, I’m finished.” Amy dried her hands on a dishtowel. “Have you decided what we’re doing first?”
With a scowl, he put on his sunglasses, picked up his keys, and walked out the door.
