The scoff that falls from her is like a blunt blade only confirming how much this is going to hurt.
“Yeah, I get it, but this is my point of view and I’m not laying blame, but in a sense you did leave. King had you medivaced out the second you were stable enough. I mean, we’d said our goodbyes, but in my mind, we were coming back.”
I have to lock my body down, a strong desire to look over to see her face right now hits but so does a sense of self preservation. And yeah, that’s my therapist in my ears.
“Everything went from bad to worse in the space of a couple of days. Colt disappeared almost overnight, actually maybe he never returned home. Reid… well Reid changed overnight too. Tal and I were caught in a swirling cesspool of bullshit being pushed and pulled in all directions.”
“I lost track of days. Time moved slowly, but it also seemed to disappear insanely fast. We were staying at Reid’s. Camping out there, but now looking back at it, I think we were being rounded up. My parents and Tal’s were completely supportive of the Anders. There was never any doubt in their mind that Sharlene was innocent, and anything we said was dismissed or ridiculed. I seriously thought I was losing my mind at one point. Things we’d say were twisted and when we questioned them, they said we’d never said what we said we did. Complete and utter gaslighting.”
She huffs a little noise in the back of her throat. Half belief and part dismissive.
“There was no doubt in our mind what happened when you were attacked, Raney. They made us doubt ourselves though. Not you. By getting me to not trust myself, it was a pretty smart way of going about it. Especially when they showed me the proof of how much of a dick I was.”
“Proof?”
“Yeah, sadly they’ve got days of it too.”
I close my eyes, steeling myself because no matter what they did and how, the fact is I betrayed Raney and that hurts me most of all. It was unintentionally done, but my guilt cuts deep because it should.
“I was sick. Food made my illness worse. I couldn’t sleep and when I was awake I had blinding headaches. And then I got a rash.”
I can hear the sharp intake of her shock. I mean I fucking lost it when people were starting to say I had ADV too.
“I was rushed to Xavier Memorial for assessment. I don’t know how much you know about the Alpha Deterioration Virus, but some doctors say if you catch it early it can reduce, even stop the growth of the virus. And then Sharlene stepped in.”
“Sharlene?”
I huff a humourless laugh through my nose. “She’s a fucking monster, Raney.”
“Yeah,” she adds.
I desperately want to reach out and hold her hand, but instead, I twist around on the leather seats and pull my feet up and clasp my hands around my legs—stopping me from touching her, and / or escaping.
“I wasn’t myself, but at the same time I have to take responsibility for what happened. I should have run and never stopped running, but when I realised what she’d done, it was already too late. I think we all under-estimated how much sway the Anders have but that was at the point I still thought Reid had my back. Talon and I couldn’t believe he’d flipped and was backing them after the attack, but… anyway, the pull she and Reid’s father both have is scary. At the hospital I was segregated away on a separate floor. Because, you know, supposedly there’s a high risk of an alpha with ADV dropping into a rut. Not a rut like a brooding alpha. Nah, this is more like a rut where the only thing the alpha wants is blood and violence.”
I risk a quick look at her out the side of my eye, and she’s shuffled around too and is mirroring my position.
“That’s not me. Being full alpha aggressive and ready to rip someone’s arms off is not who I am.”
“Hayes, I know that.”
“I do too. Now. Back then, I thought I was that person. I begged for help because selfishly I didn’t want to be locked away from society in one of the alpha facilities. And help came in the form of a new drug they were trialling. Of course, I jumped in and volunteered. I distinctly remember meeting Reid at the hospital, and he was so supportive of me trying it. Of course, when I asked him about it later, he told me he wasn’t there. He straight up lied to my face. A lot of the next while is hazy but not that. The drug was administered at nine am one day, and the next week vanished.”
“How do you know the timings then?”
“Talon. He said it was the worst week of his life because he couldn’t find me.”
She stretches over the cabin and holds her hand out. And even though I shouldn’t, I reach out for her, I do. But Raney has always had such a beautiful, compassionate heart, it’s impossible to stay away from.
“Thanks,” I mumble before I shake my hand out of her stranglehold. It’s so fucking hard to not pull her into my arms and let her comfort me.
In an instant her scent changes. Her sweetness sours at my rejection.
“It’s not you, Raney. It’s fucking Sharlene and the extended Anders empire. If she sees me with you, she’ll ruin me before destroying you, then Talon. Being out here is already such a risk, but…”
“What the fuck did she do?”
“It’s not what she did, it’s what I did. She just manipulated the situation to work for her and her family.”
