“Don’t you start.” She waves her hand about, an actual small growl accompanying her words.
“What? Huh?” I cringe, wondering what I’ve done to upset her.
“It’s like it’s Koz’s favourite thing to say. You’re in pain. Are you sore? You’re limping. Yes, I am. My knee is fucked up and always will be.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you. Sorry, you know… I’m not like that.”
“No offence, Hayes, I don’t really know you at all anymore.” She turns slightly, watching as Rhodes paces on her side of the car.
“Yeah. That’s true,” I mumble. And it is, so much has happened. “I don’t know where to start.”
“The beginning is usually a good place, but it’s your story, so you do whatever you want. And, I’m not being bitchy, so don’t read anything into me hurrying you along.”
I stop watching Rhodes’s pacing, his energy is feeding my anxiety. Instead, I turn around to face her. Of course, I should have known she’d be ready and waiting, her eyes are already locked on me.
I take a big breath to start. “Start at the beginning, hey? Impossible, we don’t have enough time. But I do owe you a story, a long, convoluted one. But first up, do you need anything for your knee? I never noticed when we were at Puck’s that your knee caused you pain.”
Her eyebrows tip together like she’s a little taken aback. “So, you never noticed these?” she asks sassily, her eyes narrowing as she points to her face.
And she’s right; I never noticed the scars that grace her face. I was so caught getting lost in her scent and presence, I legitimately did not notice them. I was so focused on being with her, how she looked was secondary. Plus, her heat was pretty fucking intense.
Once again, I act before I think as I follow the deep pink line down her face with my eyes. If I was close enough to her, my finger would be tracing all the way down her cheek, as it comes to her mouth, before they move and touch over her lips. When she doesn’t move or say a word, my eyes fly to hers, and they’re brimming with a mix of emotions.
“You’re right. I never noticed.”
“Hayes, I call BS!” She rolls her eyes before reshuffling on the plush leather to reach under the bench seat, pulling out a blanket to settle over her lap.
I throw my hand up. “Since when do I talk BS to you? Huh?”
Her smile sours for a milli-second before her gorgeous sass comes back stronger, “You always used to! You used to BS so much you’d get away with murder. You were very good at it too.”
“I did not!” I drop my mouth open in shock. Before we both smile like fucking idiots at each other.
The smile on her face changes as the light in her eyes fades. “Then overnight you disappeared.”
I know it’s time to talk to her. It’s why we’re here. I just wish I didn’t have to tell her what happened, because without a doubt she’s going to change the way she looks at me. Fuck, it changed the way I look at me.
Being a complete chicken, I focus on Rhodes as he marches once again past the car window. And I wonder for what feels like the ten millionth time how we got here. But also if we will ever getthere—the place we all dreamed about as kids.
Raney sits back and waits for me. Her mood shifts, her scent pales in her anxiety. It matches mine.
“Part of the reason I never reached out was because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you. I didn’t deserve you after what happened.”
She goes to say something, but I flick my hand up to shut her down. Being a bit of a dick, I infuse the smallest soft touch of my alpha influence to ensure she stays quiet, at least until the end. Intentionally, my voice deepens, and while it’s an offhanded comment, I ensure there’s no room for argument because one thing Raney used to love was an argument.
“I need to purge. Once it’s all out and I’ve said everything, then you can ask away. And that’s because I almost don’t want to tell you. Any interruption I’ll read as a way to avoid telling you everything. So, no interrupting.”
“Before you start,” she interrupts, a smirk on her face as I turn to look at her. She feigns innocence, but she wears a hint of the look she used to get in her eyes when she was teasing.
“I seriously wish this was one of those instances where we could joke around, Raney.”
She flicks her eyebrows up as her smile falls away and a veil drops over her eyes. It fucking guts me that she’s pulling away. Even though I just told her to.
“Get it done then. Give me all the pain at once.”
I blow out a long exhale before my eyes linger on the peacefulness of the lake in the distance. I hope and pray she doesn’t walk away.
“After you left,” I start softly.
