Summer slants her shoulders up. “As long as he can fix the wound that he caused, then maybe you have the outlook that more of us should have.” There’s that sorrow again underlying in her voice. I really need to make sense of what’s going on with her, but right now, I’m selfish and need to deal with my situation.
I find my sweater on the floor and bundle up. “I can’t think of it any other way, otherwise the pain will only grow and be hard to fade away. Actually, our relationship moved fast, but the pain might last longer if this is our end.”
Her eyes widen. “You really are optimistic.”
I lick my lips and puff out my chest, attempting to gather strength to ensure I don’t mope around. “Don’t worry, I’m raging with anger, but this fucked-up sympathy inside of me has me unable to run. I can only imagine what he’s going through. And saying he doesn’t love me or that we were a mistake stings like hell.” She looks at me, unsure, while I point my finger to the door. “I cried all night. But right now, I need a break from the waterworks and to go get a damn coffee at Jolly Joe’s.”
A renewed energy hits me, and Summer grins. “Well, before you go, I wanted to tell you some happy news.” I smile and patiently wait. “Zac and I are having a baby.” She appears happy.
I squeal in delight. “Finally, some great news in this shitty day. This is wonderful.” I jump up to give her a hug.
“I think so. It feels like life is happening quick, but this is a gift.” She glances down at her flat belly.
“It is.” And maybe one day, I’ll have a baby, too. With Holden’s eyes and his humor and his nose…
Lexi, stop.
“Well, I just wanted to let you know in case I throw up at some point. But I’m nearly at the end of my first trimester, and it hasn’t been bad.”
“Well, I’ll be there to clean up any puke if you do.”
She nods in appreciation. “Okay, I’ll let you be so I can focus on some work. Just don’t wait forever, Lexi. Nobody deserves that heartache.”
I nod that I understand, but I can’t go down the rabbit hole of rehashing all of my feelings. I gently touch her shoulder in passing as I leave. Maybe she understands more than I could imagine, and she is wiser than me.
* * *
Okay,my confidence that everything will resolve was a fucking lie. Or that’s what I feel as that swirling sadness and anger hits me again somewhere between parking my car and walking down Main Street. My head hangs low, and my misery returns, as if my rant earlier didn’t happen.
“Lexi?” a young faint voice says, and my eyes snap up to see a beautiful 12-year-old with sass walking my way. She’s missing a smile, though.
“Hey, Lori.” I search the area, concerned that I will run into Holden again. But there’s only a group of her friends from school heading into Jolly Joe’s.
She quirks her mouth and tucks her hands into her jeans pockets. “Won’t you come back?”
My nose rises because I’m not entirely sure what their dad told them. “Uh, I’m not…”
“He didn’t say anything, probably because, well, someone showed up. But you haven’t been around, and I’m smarter than my little brother.”
Ah, Holden has spoken with Lori about her mother. “It’s kind of complicated.”
“He’s being an ass.”
Her blunt statement causes my head to perk up from surprise. “You’re not afraid to be bold, huh.”
Lori rolls a shoulder back, and her eyes peer down. “I don’t want to see her and still my dad is walking around moody.”
Indicating with my head, I suggest we sit down on the bench nearby, and she follows me. “If only it was that easy.” I’m sure he didn’t get into the specifics with her. “Sometimes adulting really sucks.” I sigh and try to level with her age.
“Yeah, I can clearly see that.” Her flippant tone brings a half-smirk to my face. “Just, please, can’t you talk to him? You’re just having a disagreement, and someone has to say sorry, right? You’ll be there when we order pizza this weekend.”
I glance away. “Lori, it’s… I want to be honest, and time will tell.”
A long silence floats in the air. “Please, Lexi, can’t you talk to him? Maybe he’ll listen. He can deal with my mom and fix whatever it is with you.”
My eyes snap in her direction and see her hope. I touch her arm. “I-I... My only answer is to give him space. There is nothing else.”
“Okay, but you’ll be back tomorrow? Surely, that’s all it will take for you both to be happy together again. I’ve never seen him this happy, well, until he lost it a few days ago.”
