“I know, Ruby, but why hold on to it?” he asked, looking genuinely concerned.
“Because I can. Stop trying to force me to make decisions I’m not ready for,” I snapped at him, my anger rising.
Cap’s hand went up in defense. “It was just a suggestion.”
“Well, I suggest you keep your stupid ideas to yourself.”
Yeah, I was definitely back to the angry stage of grief.
Cap started walking to his bike, but I shook my head. “We’re taking your truck today.”
He gave me a single nod, and when he went to open the door for me, I ripped it away from him, refusing his kindness. “I got it, thanks.” The words came out bitter, like I wasn’t thankful at all. But I couldn’t help myself, I was raging and empty inside, and nothing he could do or say right now would change that.
We rode to his clubhouse in silence. He gripped and ungripped the steering wheel, his jaw tightened, almost like he was biting his tongue. I, on the other hand, was perfectly content staring out the window, watching the world pass me by.
We pulled into the parking lot of the clubhouse, but instead of waiting for him to open my door, I let myself out, refusing to give him anything in that moment.
I didn’t know why I was so angry with him. Actually, I was angrier with myself for leading him on and keeping him on strings the way I had been. The guilt was suffocating me, and the more I let Cap in, the less I felt Chase. That couldn’t happen. Losing that part of Chase I always felt hovering around me would definitely be the catalyst to my downfall. I’d hurl myself off that proverbial cliff and not think twice about it.
Mindlessly, I toyed with my wedding ring, just as a car pulled into the compound.
“He’s here,” Cap said, though I could tell there was a hint of anger and emotion in his voice.
A beautiful man with long, curly brown hair stepped out of the vehicle, wearing a black shirt that looked like it had a Roman collar on it.Was Cap’s friend a priest?
Cap’s frown changed into a smile as he raced toward the man and threw his arms around him. “Hey, Knight, how the hell you been?”
“Oh, you know. Just doing what I can to make a difference in this world. How are you doing, Kane?”
He glanced my way, but kept his façade going. “I’m good, man. Really good. Did you bring her?”
Cap’s friend opened the door, just as a beautiful German Shepard hopped out, tail wagging vigorously back and forth. “I sure did.”
The dog sniffed at Cap’s knees as he bent down to pet her, allowing himself to be on the dog’s level. “Who’s a pretty girl?” he asked her.
“Is he here?” Knight asked, looking toward the clubhouse.
“Yeah, he’s inside, I think. Honestly, I just got here myself.” He stood up. “Knight, I’d like you to meet my… friend… Ruby. Ruby, this is Chaplain Knight. We served together overseas, along with Leo.”
Knight stuck out his hand. “You can call me Colin if you like.”
“Nice to meet you, Colin.”
“You too, Ruby.”
We stood there in silence for a few minutes before Cap motioned to the clubhouse. “Come on, let’s find Leo. I can’t wait to see his smile when he sees Nala.”
I followed the two men inside, noticing that the dog stayed right beside me, almost like she was herding me inside or shadowing me in a way. Once behind the doors, the dog started sniffing around, immediately barking and breaking into a sprint until she was in the bar area, barreling towards Leo who was sitting at the bar.
The dog didn’t stop until she was in his lap, licking his face in happiness.
“Nala!” he breathed out, accepting the dog’s love. It was the first time I’d ever seen the man smile… you could tell he really cared for the pup.
Knight and Cap made their way over to him, all of them smiling at the reunion.
“I was afraid she wouldn’t remember me,” Leo stated, scratching the happy dog behind the ear. She was missing an eye, but that didn’t seem to stop her.
“Nawh, man. That dog has nothing but love for you. You could be covered in manure, sitting in a vat of toxic shit, and she’d still find you,” Cap exclaimed, his smile growing even wider. I was jealous of that smile. For the last few days, it had been absent, much like my will to live, the familiar stress of Chase’s departure returning to afflict me.
