So, really, it wasn’t her fault that she succumbed to ethereal pull that Eve had over her. She was only human, after all. And for a few short, glorious days, she’d been genuinely happy instead of just pretending at it. Yeah, there had been some colossally shitty moments thrown in, but the good ones far outweighed the bad.
And she didn’t want to let this magical feeling that’d taken root in her chest go.
Even though she knew she had to.
It wouldn’t be fair of her to ask Eve to stay. She worked too goddamn much—hell, her schedule was literally booked solid until late April, where she’d blocked out three weeks for herself—she was up before dawn every day, and in bed at a time more appropriate for a middle schooler than a grown-ass adult. It wouldn’t be right to ask Eve to commit to her when she was already overcommitted to her work.
But she wanted to.
God, her heart ached for it so much that it hurt to breathe.
She squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth as the buzzing in her head became louder.
Louder.
Louder.
Her therapist’s calm voice broke through the buzzing to prompt,“Tell me what you see.”
“Eve,” Aspen mouthed her answer so that she didn’t wake her. Even with her eyes closed, she saw Eve’s beautiful face. “I see Eve.”
“Good. Now, tell me something you can touch?”
Again, the answer was easy and immediate. “Eve.” She focused her attention further. “Her hair is soft against my shoulder, and her breath is so warm against my skin. She feels so good. So right.”
“Because she is. What can you hear?”
This time, she had to expand her senses a little further, but not by much. Just enough to notice, “The heater is running.”
“Good. Very good. Now…what can you smell?
“Eve’s shampoo. Her perfume.”
“Excellent. Now—”
Her thoughts tripped and froze when Eve stirred and brushed a soft kiss over her shoulder.
“You’re thinking very loudly.” Eve’s voice was warm and raspy with sleep as she looked up at her. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
“Noth—” Aspen cut herself off with a sigh. Eve deserved the truth. “Just thinking about us.”
“Oh.” Eve frowned, and Aspen’s heart ached at the way her expression turned wary. “Are you having second thoughts?”
Aspen caressed Eve’s cheek. “No, beautiful girl,” she whispered, her eyes stinging with tears.I just found you. How am I supposed to find the strength to let you go?“I’m not having second thoughts about how right this feels or how much I want you.”
Eve’s eyes fluttered with the shaky sigh that tumbled from her lips, relief etched into every beautiful facet of her expression. “Okay,” she whispered. She shifted against Aspen’s side so that they were at eye-level and propped her head on her hand. “Good.”
Aspen’s heart skipped a beat at the look of concern mixed with affection that softened Eve’s gaze as their eyes locked. “Are you having second thoughts?”
Eve smiled slow and sweet, like the sun rising over the mountains on an icy winter morning, chasing away the chill that had settled in Aspen’s chest when she’d been left to her thoughts and warming her from the inside out. “None.”
“Even though we live in different places?”
Eve hummed and kissed her softly. “Even though,” she confirmed.
“So what happens next, then?” Aspen asked, hating the way her voice trembled with the question, but there was no way her voice could possibly remain steady with the way her heart was racing. “With me here, and you in New York, and—”
Eve placed her hand over Aspen’s heart, an unmistakably empathetic look furrowing her brow when she felt just how fast Aspen’s heart was beating. “Is that what had you up so early?”
