In the middle of the bed linen section, I turned to her and gave her the biggest hug.
Lo chuckled and squeezed me back. ‘What’s this for?’
‘I’ve just missed you. And it’s so good to just be able to let off a little steam, to be silly …’
Lo gave me a look I couldn’t quite decipher, but then she smiled. ‘I’ve missed you too. We haven’t done this in ages.’
We carried on walking, ending up in front of a display of candles in a variety of expensive-looking glass containers. Lo picked up a candle, checked the price on the bottom, then whistled. She showed it to me, her eyes glittering with fun. ‘Four hundred quid? For a candle? They’re having a laugh!’
‘Come on,’ I said, chuckling along with her as I took it from her and put it back down on the display. ‘I’m starving. Why don’t we go and have lunch?’
‘This is nice,’ Lo said, entering the restaurant and looking around at the stripped wooden floors, dove-grey paintwork, and adventurous pieces from local artists. She dumped her handbag on the floor and sat down.
I took the chair opposite her, feeling pleased with myself. ‘I just thought it would be good to catch up with each other. Life has been so hectic recently that I haven’t seen as much of Mum and Dad – and you – as I’ve meant to.’
‘It hasn’t gone unnoticed,’ Lo replied, eyeing up the menu. ‘Dad keeps joking about only having one daughter – although he has a vague memory there might have been another one, once upon a time.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘I was there just last weekend. And I do my best to go round as much as I can. But Justin’s been really busy with the show, and it’s made him very stressed, so he needs lots of support. It’s hardly like I’ve deserted them!’
‘I know that. But you know what Dad’s like …’ Her expression grew more serious. ‘I think he misses you. They both do.’
‘I miss them too. But I can’t stay at home forever. I’ve got to start living my life.’
Lo gave me a tentative smile. ‘I just hope they’re not going to barricade the door when it’s my turn.’
I laughed softly. ‘They might try!’
We chatted about our lives as we ate. She was getting a promotion. Mum and Dad must be stoked. I told her about my life but skirted around any mention of the unfortunate performance. I’d been too nervous about it to invite my parents, which had definitely turned out to be the right decision. They both preferredStrictlyto anything too ‘arty farty’, as Dad called it. I did tell Lo about my upcoming jobs and my hopes for forging a new kind of career in music.
‘Justin’s changing you,’ Lo said, unsmiling.
I felt myself bristle. ‘No, he isn’t. And if I am changing, it’s for the better. I’m becoming who I’m supposed to be. I’mevolving.’
Lo snorted softly. She’d always hated anything that reeked of self-help books and psychobabble. ‘And it’s just a coincidence that you’reevolvinginto the sort of woman Justin would like you to be?’
I frowned. ‘Well, of course Justin has something to do with it. But only because he’s showed me how to like myself again, how to make the best of myself. He challenges me, Lo.He won’t let me be the pathetic creature I was when I left the Conservatory, and I’m grateful for it.’
I saw a shadow pass across my sister’s features at that point, and she looked away. I watched her, confused for a moment, and then a thought dropped into my head. ‘You don’t like him, do you?’
‘I’m not the one living with him, so it really doesn’t matter what I think about him.’
I felt a flare of familiar irritation. Why did she always have to find fault with whatever I did? Because attacking Justin felt as if she was attacking me – more and more I felt as if he and I were becoming one person. ‘Why don’t you like him?’
She shook her head, as if she’d rather not have the conversation, which was weird because she was the one who’d brought him up. ‘I can’t … I can’t put my finger on it, Lil. He just gives me a weird vibe.’ She gave me a rueful smile. ‘He doesn’t like me much either, that’s for sure.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I said, leaning back and sipping my espresso.
‘Don’t be ridiculous …’ she said, mimicking me. ‘You’re even starting to sound like him.’
‘And what’s wrong with that?’
‘Because he’s full of bullshit,’ she said, in her usual take-no-prisoners manner. ‘And you might think he’s the best thing since sliced bread, but I don’t think he’s good for you.’
I sat there open-mouthed. Lo had had some complete plonkers as boyfriends over the years, and not once had I said anything like that to her about any one of them. ‘What is it exactly that you find so distasteful about him?’ I asked coolly.
She studied me for a few moments to see if I was serious.‘As much as he charms the pants off Mum and Dad, I see the way he looks at our home when he deigns to come and visit with you. He thinks he’s better than us.’
I shook my head impatiently. Lo could be a bit of a reverse snob sometimes. ‘He does no such thing. And you don’t understand his job – it’s not a nine-to-five like yours. Sometimes he’s got to work weekends and evenings. Being creative is draining in a way you just wouldn’t understand.’
