She looked back at him and smiled. ‘Yes! How did you know that was what I was going to say?’
‘Lucky guess,’ he replied weakly.
Oh, this journey was going to kill him, wasn’t it? He was going to silently implode, full of all the things he shouldn’t … couldn’t … tell her, and all that would be left afterwards was a puff of smoke and a Ben-shaped hole in the universe.
‘It’s in London – the garden at St Dunstan-in-the-East. I know that because I took it.’
Alice’s mouth dropped open. ‘You took it? Ben … it’s stunning!’
‘It’s my job. Or it used to be. I was a travel photographer.’
Her eyes widened further. ‘I thought you were in the hospitality business, like your aunt.’
‘I am now, but I’ve only been back in Invergarrig for just under a year.’
‘You took all those photos in your cottage? Even the ones with the huge icy waterfalls?’
He nodded.
‘Ben! You’re really, really talented.’
The fact she thought so was bittersweet. Too bad he’d waved that life goodbye.
‘You must have been all over the world.’
‘A lot of places, yes. I was away more than I was in the country, not even enough to have a flat or house to call my own – although I rented a room at a flat in Glasgow that I used as a base. I suppose not every travel photographer works that way, but I did, doing other jobs like bartending or crop picking between gigs to start with. In recent years, I’ve made a living solely from photography.’
Alice shook her head, looking incredulous. ‘That seems so impossible to me at the moment – to have been to all those places.I mean, I guess I must have travelled too, maybe even as much as you have, but I don’t remember any of it. The only place I know is Invergarrig – and I was only there for a few days.’ She sighed. ‘My world seems so small compared to yours, and that makes me feel even more pathetic than I already do.’
Ben frowned. ‘Why should you feel that way?’
‘Well, I almost passed out at the station, for a start, and I’m sitting here feeling completely overwhelmed at the idea of making the journey from Glasgow to London, but to you, that’s probably like crossing the road!’
‘But thisisa big thing for you. You’re not just taking a train to London, like the rest of these people,’ he said, glancing around at the quarter-full carriage. ‘You’re going in search of your whole life. Of course this feels daunting. For all intents and purposes, this is your first time on a train. My first train ride, I cried the whole journey. At least you’re coping better than that.’
She stifled a chuckle. ‘You cried? How old were you?’
‘About three, I think. Norina took me out on a day trip – can’t remember where – and I was terrified about sliding down the gap between the carriage and the platform. It was all she could do to get me on the train to come home again.’
‘Well, by those standards, I suppose I am doing pretty well … Just about.’ Her expression grew more serious. ‘Thank you, Ben, for getting on the train with me. I’m really, really glad you’re here.’
‘I am too.’ The truth. Even though it shouldn’t be.
Alice seemed poised to ask another question when the train juddered. The other passengers in their coach, including a pair of young women across the aisle,frowned and looked around as the train began to slow and then ground to a halt completely.
It could just be a red signal, he reasoned to himself, no reason for the niggle in his gut, even though he’d learned to trust that warning when he’d been on the road. But then the Tannoy system crackled, raising his alert system another notch, and a disembodied voice floated through the carriage. ‘We’re sorry to inform you that this train has developed an electrical fault. Engineers are on their way, and we will hopefully be moving again as soon as possible.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Seven months before the wedding.
I MANAGED TO visit my parents for Sunday lunch the following week. On my own. Justin was too exhausted after the last night of the show to join me. I missed seeing Lo because she was out with a friend, so, the following Saturday, I suggested we go shopping in the West End, like we used to, and then I’d planned lunch at a nice restaurant behind Kensington High Street that Justin sometimes took me to.
‘Your hair is so different,’ Lo said when we met at the Tube station. ‘I can’t get over it.’
My hand flew instantly to my head, smoothing the strands down. Even more had come off the length since I’d last seen her. ‘Justin knows this excellent stylist in Knightsbridge,’ I said. ‘He suggested a colour change, and I thought why not?’ I’d only had it done the weekend before, and I still did a double-take when I walked past the mirrors in the flat, wondering who this stylish, sophisticated woman with the glossy, honey-blonde bob was.
We started off at Harrods, of course. Lo and I had always loved a Saturday shopping trip up West, and we’d gawp at all the expensive things in the elegant shops before finding a flea market and doing our actual shopping there.
