‘Well, I’ve performed with live musicians before where there was also a track in the background. You could get Lili to play along with it.’
I saw Justin wince at the use of my nickname. He preferred my full name, said it was much more elegant, and always introduced me that way, but ‘Lili’ was what I’d called myself when I’d first met Haru and Felix, so that’s what they continued to call me.
‘It’s not what I’d envisioned,’ Justin said, rubbing his chin.
‘It would take so much of the pressure off,’ I replied. ‘Can we try it, at least? I’d rather do that than back out and let you down completely.’
Justin thought for a minute or so, and then he said, ‘Of course, my angel. I want to do whatever makes you happy, whatever is best for you.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
Now.
‘IT’S A PITY people don’t do their wedding invitations properly any more,’ Norina grumbled to Alice as Ben showed PC Wilson to the door. ‘In my day, the parents of the bride would have had their names at the top of the invitation. None of this “Together with their families, so-and-so and so-and-so invite you to their wedding”. At least then we’d have surnames to put with the bride and groom’s first names.’
Alice nodded. If there’d been more to the invitation, it had been lost. It wouldhaveto be enough. ‘What’s today’s date?’ she asked, her gaze flicking down to the crumpled piece of card in her hands.
‘The twenty-first,’ Norina answered as Ben walked back into the room.
A tiny flicker of hope ignited inside her. ‘This says the wedding is on the twenty-sixth. In five days’ time, people who might know me will be gathered together in a certain place at a certain time. It could be the answer to everything!’
‘What’s the name of the venue again? It was a stately home or something, wasn’t it?’ Ben asked.
Alice read the gold-leafed words out to him, even though she was pretty sure she could have recited the invitation blindfolded at that point.‘Hadsborough Castle.’
He pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and typed the name into Google. A couple of seconds later, he was on the website. He held his thumb above the phone number on the contact page. ‘Shall I call them? They might be able to give us more information.’
She nodded, but when she heard the muffled ring tone, and he offered her the phone, she backed away. Her stomach had just rolled violently, and it was taking all her concentration to keep its contents in place. Ben frowned and held the phone up to his ear. Alice hardly heard what he said. She had to sit down in one of the armchairs near the fireplace and put her head close to her knees.
‘Are you okay?’ Norina asked.
Alice tried to nod without moving her head too much. A few deep breaths later, she was able to sit up again. She noticed Ben was off the phone, and her heart sank. A call that short couldn’t be good news.
‘Nothing,’ he said, scowling.
‘The wedding isn’t taking place there?’ Norina asked.
‘No, it is. But they couldn’t – wouldn’t – tell me anything else because of data protection.’
‘I think I need some fresh air,’ Alice whispered, just about finding her voice again, and she rose and headed through the kitchen to the small walled garden that lay to the back of the house, causing the security light over the back door to come on. She stopped at the little pond near the edge of the lawn, its surface covered with swirling patterns of ice, and reached for the tiny charm at the end of her necklace, pulling it free from her blouse.Even though she didn’t remember anything about how she’d come to own this pendant, as her fingers explored the bumps and protrusions of the bee’s body and wings, it felt familiar. Comforting.
Ben came out and stood beside her. ‘Sorry.’
She frowned and hugged one arm around her middle while her other hand closed around the pendant. ‘Don’t be. It’s not your fault there are data protection laws. And thank you – for stepping in and talking to them. I don’t know what came over me.’
Trauma.The word the doctor had said scooted through her head again. She batted it away. She didn’t want to be that person.
She stared at the variations in the ice, white where it was thickest, darkest black where it was paper-thin. This was what trying to reconnect with her life felt like. There was a barrier preventing her from getting back to it. Sometimes it seemed dense and impenetrable, other times so flimsy she was sure she could make a hairline crack and spill herself back into it, but each time she tried, she discovered she was wrong.
She shivered, feeling the cold of the February evening right down to her core, but she didn’t make a move to go back inside. It was cooling and calming her fractured thoughts, giving her a chance to sift through them, to actually turn the different possibilities over and examine them carefully. Finally, one certainty planted itself in the forefront of her consciousness.
‘I have to go,’ she said, looking up at Ben.
‘Norina will understand if you’d rather miss out on a noisy family dinner after all this. We can get you something to take back to the cott—’
‘No, I mean I have to go … to the wedding.’
Ben’s mouth hung open. ‘But that’s … It must be five hundred miles away.’
