“Ah, but it does, or you would have never asked for the full truth.” His aunt turned and smiled at Julian. “Be a dear and pour your guest a glass of brandy or wine and I shall leave you alone.”
“What of a chaperone?” Cait asked in near panic.
“Some conversations should remain private, Miss Doyle.”
His aunt then shut the door, leaving them very much alone.
If Cait wantedto be alone with Julian, she would have never gone looking for her hostess to ask permission to leave.
“Wine or brandy?”
“Neither. I do not intend on remaining long.”
Julian nodded and placed his glass aside.
“Do you know when I first noticed you, Cait?”
“I do not believe that it matters.” She needed to remain strong. No matter how much he had hurt her and how long he'd waited, she still loved the rogue, which was an irritation. That wasn’t something easily gotten over, though she should have by now, and would have if she were sensible. Instead, her heart ached and led to her crying upstairs because of what was lost with the realization that his feelings had not been as deep as hers.
“It was when Keegan and I arrived at Harrington Manor that cold winter day. While we rode our horses, we followed a group of students and their teachers on their way to go ice skating. I noticed you almost immediately. You were scolding a couple of girls who were trying to skip ahead. But you were not mean. You laughed and told them to come back. It was the laughter that I heard before I ever saw your face that drew me.”
Cait recalled walking to Atwood's estate for the ice skating, but she did not recall scolding the children, nor had she been aware that there were men on horseback following them.
“While we stood beside the lake, my attention kept getting drawn to you as you assisted young girls with putting on their skates. Your laughter made me smile and the sun on your beautiful face warmed me as your hair shimmered with gold in the sunlight.”
Cait’s heart began to melt, and she silently chastised herself. He had a silver tongue, which she had fallen for once. She was smarter now.
“My attention was drawn away from you only because Claudia started to fall through the ice.”
It had been such a frightening moment for them all. Luckily Claudia had been saved but may not have been without the assistance of Julian and Keegan. That was when she first noticed him. While her heart had beat frantically for her friend, she also admired the strength of his arms and back and legs as he pulled on that rope to haul Claudia and Norbright from the water.
“I took every opportunity that I could to speak with you during that visit and by the time I left, you had already stolen a part of my heart.”
The same had happened to Cait, not that she would admit it to Julian.
“When Kilsyth decided to travel to Harrington Manor, to go after your sister, Eve, I was the first to insist on going with him.”
“A decision that nearly got you killed,” she reminded him.
“Yes, well, we were rather reckless. We did encourage the driver to go faster so that he could beat an earlier record. That is the only reason the carriage rolled.” He took a step in her direction. “Despite the circumstances, and my injuries, I cannot be sorry because it allowed me more time to be with you.”
Cait took a step back. “I believe we would have both been better off had we not had that time together.”
Julian put a hand on his heart. “You wound me, Cait. Those are the most pleasant memories I have of my adult life, even though I had to face the death of my brother. Do not take them from me.”
They were her fondest memories as well. She recalled them often and was reminded that such happiness was not hers to hold onto for long.
“I fell in love with you then Cait. I was on the verge of resigning from the Home Office. I was going to ask you to be my wife and then my betrothal to another appeared in the newssheets.”
She did not need to be reminded. It was something that she’d never forget. That night he had told her of his love and indicated that they had a future without yet asking for her hand.
“We would be married by now. At least I hope we would have married five years ago, had my brother not died.”
“It does not matter. You chose to protect the child. You chose not to be poor. You chose not to come to me when you became a widower. Your actions speak far louder than your words, Julian, and I see no point in further discussing the matter.”
He blew out a sigh and thrust his fingers through his hair.
“What was written in the letter to you was but two of the reasons. I could not write of the third.”
