“Yes, she told me so. She hates me.” Julian didn't truly believe that she hated him, but she was angry with him and if she loved him, she would not have run away.
“That must explain why she was swiping tears away as she ran up the stairs.”
Julian groaned and took another drink. “I made her cry as well. Yes, this house party is going very well, Aunt Agatha. Thank you for inviting us,” he retorted before taking another drink.
She tisked and joined him at the sideboard and poured herself a glass of brandy. “I have never known you to be defeatist. Perhaps your heart does not belong to her as you claimed.”
He glanced at his aunt out of the corner of his eye. “When did I ever claim to love Cait?”
Aunt Agatha chuckled. “After you brought Valeria here because you did not want her raised with Imogene and your father’s influence. It was one of those nights that you were deep in your cups, like you intended on doing today, but you told me all about Caitlin Doyle.”
He groaned and found a chair to fall into. “I do not recall.”
“I am not surprised.”
“What else did I tell you?” Good Lord! If he tended to confess his secrets when deep in his cups, he could've ruined everything for the Home Office.
On the other hand, he could only recall allowing himself to drink to excess, becoming so drunk that he did not recall full conversations and waking up feeling as if he’d been to hell and back less than ten times in his life. Those instances only took place when he was with the Devils or alone, and apparently once with his aunt.
When with anyone else, he never drank above a glass or two of brandy or ale, so England’s secrets remained safe with him.
“What did you say to her and what was her response?”
As Aunt Agatha seemed to know far more than he gave her credit for, Julian told her the discussion they had on the ride.
“She believes your decision not to go to her was based on revenge alone?” his aunt asked.
“If I loved her, revenge against my father would not have been more important.” She was correct. “In truth, I assumed it was too late,” Julian finally admitted aloud why he had not pursued Cait once he was finally free. “She deserves so much better than me and I feared that if I went to her that she would reject me, and I was correct.”
“Perhaps that would have been the case, but you have also never told her the truth of why you were really forced to marry Imogene.”
Bloody hell! “Did I tell you that as well?”
“No, I came by that information by way of my husband. He worried that my brother would not keep his promise to remain quiet even after you wed.”
“It does not matter. Cait is lost to me and there is nothing I can say to win her back.”
“She deserves the entire truth of why you really wed Imogene in the first place,” his aunt insisted. “Then she would understand and perhaps forgive you for being too cowardly to go to her a year and a half ago.”
“She will realize how weak I truly am. My deepest fear was that she would have turned me away and then I would have no hope of love ever. So long as I put it off, I could fool myself into hope. I could not fight my father. I was a coward, and I did let revenge stand in my way. Why should she want me?”
“What is the full truth?”
Julian had not expected Cait to find them here. He thought she was packing her bags.
He came to his feet at her entrance. Cait’s emerald eyes were slightly swollen and red rimmed, which was his fault. To tell her more would likely make her cry again.
“I did not expect to see you so soon,” his aunt said brightly. “Would you care for a brandy? I find it quite beneficial when situations are tense or emotional.”
“I came looking for you, Lady Hartfell and was told you were here.” She quickly glanced to Julian then returned her attention to his aunt. “I was going to inform you that I see no purpose in my remaining.”
His aunt tilted her chin. “Is that so?”
Cait straightened her spine as her chin jutted out with determination. “Yes.”
“I am afraid I cannot authorize your leaving without sending a letter of disappointment to your employer,” Aunt Agatha insisted. “And, you still have questions.”
“I…um…it no longer matters.”
