“We won’t get rescued.”
A chill down his spine at that soft voice. The prospect of dying here, alone. “You can’t just say this. Not like that, so fucking sure of it.”
Damian just shrugged, a bitter curve at the edge of his lips. “Think what you want. Dream. But it won’t change the truth. Nobody gives a fuck about us. If it’s hard to face the truth, grow the fuck up.” He stood, dressing, and Gabe jabbed him in the shoulder, his eyes blazing.
“I am grown up, thanks. And fuck you! I can still hope. That I don’t have to end my life here with an asshole like you!” Damian just smiled, unfazed. Gabe flipped him the finger whilst walking off. “Screw you, asshole! You can sleep on your own tonight!”
“Thank fuck!” Shouting it after him when his heart had iced over at his words.
Lying on their beddings, the night filled with animals, sounds which didn’t make any sense, hugging themselves. That stubborn, mad breathing in the dark.
Next morning, Gabe had stormed off to the beach, fed up, not even waiting for Damian to wake up.Fuck you. He went to gather some moss and weeds, a gentle warm breeze in the air, the ocean calm, a glorious blue, and his eyes welled up.How could it be so beautiful and such a dread at the same time?Everything he’d ever dreamed of, living one with nature, a nightmare, with that abomination of a man.Maybe I should move somewhere else…but the thought was terrifying, being alone.Would Damian cope? Who cares? Asshole…
“Gabe?”
His voice on the wind, watching him search the beach.Fuck you.
Damian had guessed though, walking to the rocks, so Gabe got off, walking to not even wait for him, fast, clutching his bag. “Hey!” Walking faster towards the trees, but Damian caught up with him, catching his arm. He wrenched it out, mad. “Wow…” Raised hands, a genuine surprise in his eyes. “That mad, still?”
“Yeah!” Fuming, but his strength had been sapped by those blue eyes.
“I’m sorry, ok? I really am. I have… no right to tell you… ah, whatever I told you.”
“Why are you here?”
“I was worried… you left without saying a word…”
“I left because I can go wherever the fuck I want! I don’t need to tell you shit!”
“Ok, ok…” A mild sadness seeping into those steel eyes. “You know what? You’re right. I’m going… leave you some space.”
Gabe laughed, bitter. “Sure… some space… when we are stuck here, together…” His eyes welled up. “I wish… I just wish… ah, fuck it.”
“Just go back to camp. Or wherever you want… I’ll stay here, fish something.”
They faced each other, Gabe’s anger dwindling, but he left, rushing from that urge to take him in his arms.
Damian came back very late, the sky almost dark, just a glow at the edge of the horizon. He threw his bag down and sat near the fire, pulling the bag close. “I got some lobsters, again.”
Gabe didn’t comment, watching the flames, his whole day spent organizing their “kitchen” and putting the seaweed and moss to dry. He got up, wordless, and went to look for that metallic can they’d painfully cut in half to have a pot. Filling it with water, bringing it back to set it on the flames. He didn’t want to talk, that grim survival mode shaken to the core as reality started to settle in, something glacial in his guts. He carved another row in his tally on the trunk of a tree, crossing it through. A week. It seemed an eternity. His pants loose around his waist, despite eating, it was not enough under that pouring sun and with all the physical work his body was not used to. Damian’s either. Despite his fitness routine with his trainer, those muscles grown with weights not matching the body he would have needed here.
Gabe barely glanced at him and sat, watching the flames, the water gently boiling. Damian threw the lobsters in, a slight pinch on his face, seeing them writhe a bit before they stilled, boiled to death. Fuck. It had been easier at the restaurant. Not seeing this death. Not causing it.His eyes went to Gabe, but he didn’t feel like breaking the silence.What for? To fight, again… not worth it…Serving the food, only his eyes asking, and Gabe took the plate, not saying a word. Eating, night animal songs filling the air above the crackling of the flames. Damian gathered the plates and put them in a basin filled with sea water, turning back to the flames, but he almost bumped into Gabe, standing close, a slight kick to his heart, meeting his hazel eyes in that dim glow.
A clumsy breath, barely a smile. “What’s up…?”
Gabe just watched him, then exhaled, soft. “I wish I wouldn’t hate you that much…”
Damian looked away. “Ok… listen, I can go away. We know the island now, sort of… And then we only met when we have to… no big deal…” His voice dying at the thought, but he was willing to give this to Gabe.
“It’s that hard for you to have me around?”
“No… you hate me… so? I will make it easier for you… not to have me around…”
“Is being around another man the problem?”
“What…?” He exhaled, hard, and met his drowned eyes swimming in pain. “No… Damn it… ok… I’ll tell you because who the fuck cares here, right? It doesn’t matter anymore…” He licked his lips, his heart threatening to burst. “I… I used to like men… boys… back in school… I think…”
Gabe’s eyes widened. “What?”
