She smiled at him. “Well, perhaps you do,” she said.
He snorted his derision. “What have I ever done to deserve happiness?”
She seemed surprised at the sharpness of his tone. “George, you have always been kind to those who needed it, including myself.”
“Hmmm. Well, that is because only a fool wouldn’t be kind to you.”
She was quiet and looked up at the stars with him. “What are you looking for out here all alone?” she asked.
He flinched. He could have lied, but he was too tired. “Mars,” he said. “The planet of war.”
She looked up at him and from the corner of his eye he could see the confusion and concern mixed on her face. “Well,” she said slowly, “I believe it is that one with the reddish tint, right there.”
He followed where she pointed and found the little ruddy star that was so far away. It made sense that it was red. Like blood.
“Why are you looking for that?” she asked. “I don’t recall you ever being that interested in astronomy.”
He took another sip of his alcohol and welcomed the burn and the increasing muddiness it created. “Ares and Aphrodite.”
She wrinkled her brow. “You’re thinking of Greek mythology? Careful, cousin, tread too far into history and antiquities and you’ll lose your card as a rake.”
“I’m surrendering it anyway,” he muttered. She was quiet a moment and he stared up for a bit longer, his mind rolling over pains and thoughts. “Did you know that Ares and Aphrodite were separated after their affair? That they were forced to love each other from afar forever?”
“I suppose that happens in many of the myths. Affairs lead to consequences and often new affairs.” Clarissa didn’t seem to notice when he flinched. She added, “Anyway, they weren’tentirelyseparated. I think I recall that they often made their way to each other in secret.”
He almost laughed, or perhaps it was cried. Hard to separate the two in that moment. “Lucky them.”
He was revealing too much in his slightly tipsy state. That was proven when Clarissa turned toward him and took his hand. “George, is…is Alice a good match?”
He jerked his gaze down toward her. “There’s nothing about the young lady that doesn’t recommend her.”
“That’s true.” Clarissa shook her head. “She’s so kind and sweet-natured. She’s certainly beautiful. But that isn’t what I meant. Is she a good fit foryou?”
He didn’t answer for long enough that the question began to answer itself and they both knew it. He shrugged at last. “She’s my fiancée.”
Clarissa sighed softly. “I see. Forgive my disappointment, I had only hoped you might find—find love.”
He flinched again. Love. He’d never believed in it. He’d scoffed at it. Now the idea of it stung. “That was your fairytale, not mine, cousin. It would be repetitive to have the same story played out in one family.”
He meant it to tease, but he could see she didn’t find it amusing.
“But—” she began.
He faced her. “I’m going to do the unexpected, you know.”
“What’s that?”
“Keep my promises. Be a better man.”
They both knew what he meant. She’d been around his father and mother long enough to see the cracks in their union. To know why they were there.
She touched his hand. “But youarea good man, George. Whatever wrongs you think you must atone for, yours or…or someone else’s, you deserve to be happy.”
He wasn’t certain of that anymore. He wasn’t certain of anything. “Come, I’ll take you inside. I’m sure your husband must be waiting on you to go upstairs together. You shouldn’t waste your time trying to comfort a rake who is brooding like a gothic hero.”
She clearly wished to argue, but there must have been something to his expression that stopped her. She only sighed and allowed him to take her in.
He could only wish her words didn’t echo the rolling feelings in his tight chest. He could only wish he didn’t want those same things for himself.
