She shook her head. “I doubt the duke would seek my comfort. He is not fond of me.”
Diana wrinkled her brow. “Is he not? Well, I was not part of your circles until my marriage, so I do not know the circumstances. But he didn’t seem to be averse to your company a few moments ago.”
There was something in Diana’s tone that made Sarah’s heart jump a little. She stared at the observant, clever lady and tried to find words to combat her implication. Because that implication was very clear. Diana was saying she’d seen a connection between Sarah and Kit.
Which was preposterous beyond words. That was why she struggled with the very concept.
“He is…in an untenable position, I suppose. His father hired me and we all know how Kit—” She broke off immediately. Had she truly just called the man Kit to his friend’s wife? Oh, that was always how she referred to him in her mind. An old, unacceptable familiarity she had adopted for years.
But to do it out loud? When her position had so greatly changed? Heat suffused her cheeks and she wished to sink into the floor.
“I think between friends it is easier to refer to the dukes by their first names,” Diana said softly, her green stare holding firm on Sarah’s. “There are so many Your Graces in this room, your head would likely burst if you tried to refer to them all individually without confusing yourself.”
Sarah swallowed. Well, her friend had certainly given her one excuse for her bad behavior. She would cling to it, even though in her heart she knew that clarity wasn’t why she always thought of the man by not just his given name, but his nickname.
She pushed those thoughts aside. “The new duke,” she began slowly, “was close to his father, and if he wishes to sack me, then I suppose that would be difficult for him to do so. That was all I was trying to say.”
“Sack you?” Diana repeated. “Gracious, is that how deep whatever this animosity you think exists goes?”
Before Sarah could answer, the Duchess of Crestwood slipped up beside Diana and slid an arm around her. They two gave each other a warm squeeze and then Meg smiled at Sarah. “I was eavesdropping shamelessly, as I am wont to do. I heard the wordanimosityand got very curious.”
Sarah caught her breath. Oh God, this was the moment she had been dreading for years. Now Meg would have Sarah’s bad behavior thrown firmly in her face. It would be horrible and awkward and probably end in Sarah’s dismissal. How could it not?
“Sarah was just telling me that Kit has some secret reason for not liking her,” Diana explained. “Enough that she fears the security of her position here.”
Meg’s eyes went wide. “No. That cannot be. Whatever could you and Kit hold against each other?”
Sarah’s mouth dropped open and she stared at the duchess with wide eyes. Meg didn’t remember that awful night? How could she not? Sarah recalled each and every detail in fine relief. Every awful, tipsy word she’d said so long ago haunted her dreams, especially when she knew she’d have to talk to Meg or one of her friends.
Now, it was possible the duchess was just a fine actress, but she gave no indication that she was pretending not to recall the night that had changed Sarah’s life forever. The one that had put her in the path of a wrathful Kit. Meg just stared at Sarah with empathy and kindness and true confusion.
Sarah hesitated, for she had no idea what to do. Did she remind Meg of what she had done? Wouldn’t that only make everything worse? If she didn’t remind her, did that mean she was lying? Wouldn’t that only give Kit more ammunition against her if he found out?
Her head spun and she swallowed hard. “Once upon a time, His Grace and I had a rather unpleasant encounter,” she said slowly, trying to walk a fine line between the truth and thewholetruth. “He has not forgiven me for something I said in a moment of foolishness.”
Meg blinked, but there was still no recognition on her face. “I’m sorry, I had no idea your relationship was so fraught. Is there anything we can do to help?”
Sarah shook her head. The very idea of Kit’s friends injecting themselves in their relationship, especially Meg…was terrifying. Kit would see it as a manipulation. He would add it to her list of crimes.
“Thank you, but it is really not your concern,” she said. “I’m certain the duke and I will work it out.”
Meg stared at her a moment, her brow wrinkling. Then she nodded. “Of course, my dear. If I overstepped my bounds, I do apologize. I’m a fixer, you see. Ask Simon and he will tell you. But I realize that you are a grown woman and well-capable of approaching your own problems.”
Sarah bent her head. “It was kindly meant and kindly taken, I assure you.”
“Very good.” Meg smiled. “Why don’t you two come with me? I’d like to discuss some details about tomorrow’s picnic with the rest of the ladies. We will have a great many small children to wrangle, even with the assistance of the nannies, and perhaps we can use Phoebe’s love of helping as some kind of distraction for her.”
Sarah pushed aside her bewilderment. She’d all but forgotten the picnic down by the lake that was planned for the next afternoon. It was a good reminder that she had duties here. Ones she had to take seriously and not just for her own sake.
So she did her best to forget all the difficulties she was facing with Kit and concentrated on Phoebe as she followed the ladies to their friends and all of them began to plan.
Chapter Five
Sarah couldn’t help but feel nervous the next afternoon as she trailed along behind the large group of dukes and duchess and their children. She had not been able to sleep after excusing herself from their party the night before, tossing and turning as she relived every moment of her conversation with Kit. Had she said the right thing? The wrong thing? Would her candor and her attempt at comfort make their relationship better or worse?
When she was honest with herself, she also thought of other things. Like how full Kit’s lips were as they moved in conversation. How dark and soulful his eyes were. And those cheekbones. A man should not be blessed with such cheekbones—it really didn’t seem fair.
She sighed as Isabel fell back and linked arms with her. “You look tired.”
