Kit flinched. He was happy for his friend, of course, but this statement didn’t help him. He had no woman in his life to offer comfort. His mind flitted to Sarah, but he pushed that away.
“I’m glad she offers you succor,” he said softly. “She is a wonderful woman and you deserve your happiness.”
“She is the best of women,” Baldwin mused, staring up at the stars for a moment with a faraway smile. Then his attention snapped back to Kit. “I saw you speaking intently to Miss Carlton.”
Kit shot him a side glare, for the statement felt rather accusatory. “She is a member of my household staff.”
“And that’s why you were holding her hand,” Baldwin said.
Kit walked away a few steps, trying not to remember how soft Sarah’s skin had been. How that lilac scent of her hair had filled his nostrils and softened the harsh edges of his emotions.
“I was looking at her mourning ring,” he muttered. “I don’t even like her.”
Baldwin tilted his head and his gaze narrowed. “Yes, so you’ve been saying for years. You’ve made quite a study of watching the young woman as she navigated her final years in Society.”
Kit shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
Baldwin lifted both eyebrows. “Every time you saw her, you pointed out her presence. I saw you watching her. If you didn’t keep telling everyone you didn’t like her, I might have even thought you had atendrefor her.”
Kit faced him with an outraged snort. “For Sarah Carlton?”
“Yes. Honestly, Kit, I’ve never heard a good explanation for why you feel as you do toward her.”
Kit shook his head. Despite his words to Sarah that night long ago, he’d never made any attempt to destroy her. Partly because Meg had asked him not to intervene. Partly because he didn’t want to be the one to…to hurt Sarah.
He blinked at that realization and hardened himself to it and to her. “I keep my reasons to myself, but trust they are there. They no longer matter, though. Miss Carlton is in my employ, and that is how she will be managed. I don’t need you lot getting bored and trying to create a situation that simply isn’t there.”
“Whatever you say, Kit.” Baldwin looked out over the garden again. “Whatever you say.”
Kit ignored the dry delivery and focused instead on the stars overhead. It was only the high emotion of losing his father that was making everything feel so odd. That was making him draw closer to Sarah. There was nothing more to it, no matter what silly stories his friends wanted to say.
No matter what his own tangled dreams tried to tell him.
Sarah glanced at the parlor door with a frown. Kit had been outside for a very long time. He wasn’t alone, of course. The Duke of Sheffield had followed him out.
Not that it mattered to Sarah, of course. Her relationship to Kit was no different than it had been before. One conversation about the nature of grief, one brief flash of connection, couldn’t change years of uneasy interaction. Kit was still her employer. He still didn’t like her.
Nothing had changed at all.
“Sarah?”
She turned, happy enough to be distracted from her odd thoughts, and smiled as the Duchess of Willowby approached. Aside from Isabel, this lady was the one Sarah was most comfortable with. The woman was a healer and she and her husband had joined the family a few weeks before the old duke’s death to see if the duchess could ease his pain. The woman had been nothing but kind and generous to the family, and to Sarah.
“Your Grace,” Sarah said. When Diana lifted her brows, she laughed. “Diana.”
“Better,” Diana chuckled. “How are you holding up?”
Sarah shrugged. “Well enough, I suppose. The household staff is all in mourning, though not as deeply as the family.”
She glanced again at the door to the terrace, thinking of Kit’s drawn face as they discussed the loss of his father. Despite their past, she felt for him.
Diana touched her hand. “I’m certain that this brings up painful memories of your own.”
Sarah bent her head. She had already had this painful conversation once tonight. She didn’t feel like repeating it. “I think of my mother, of course. Perhaps that will help me in my duties with Phoebe.”
Diana wrinkled her brow. “I suppose that is true. No one would understand the death of a parent more.” There was a brief, faraway look in her eyes for a moment, then her gaze cleared. “I saw you talking to Kit earlier, as well. I’m sure you will be a great comfort to them both.”
Sarah caught her breath. She’d been so wrapped up in her conversation with the duke, she hadn’t stopped to think that it had been held in a public room with everyone watching. Judging, perhaps. Making their own assumptions.
