“I also re-read her last letter to me,” she said, bringing the subject back to her mother.
He frowned. “I’m sure I have letters from my father around,” he said. “But I have been here for months—I do not have a letter that says a goodbye.”
She shook her head. “Perhaps it doesn’t need to be goodbye. I think a letter that is just something normal would be more comforting in some way.”
“Hmmm,” he murmured.
“And then I have a mourning ring.” She shifted, raising her hand slowly so he could see the little ring on her right hand. The crystal decoration was cheap, but beneath it was a lock of her mother’s hair.
“The color is like yours,” he said softly as he reached out and took her hand to look closer.
Sarah jolted. Kit had never touched her before. And now he held her hand in his, no gloves to separate them, and an odd shiver worked through her entire body.
“Does this comfort you?” he asked, releasing her and taking a step back.
For a moment, she thought he meant his touch. Oddly, the answer leapt to her mind and screamedyes. But then the moment passed and she somehow she found her breath. “Yes. All these things make me feel…closer to her. I’m sure you will find details that will do the same for you.”
He inclined his head. “Well, thank you for the advice. I’m certain it will be of assistance during these trying days.”
“Of course, Your Grace.”
He nodded once, a swift and cold dismissal, then turned and walked away, leaving Sarah to blink after him in confusion. She was no more certain of what would happen next than she had been when he’d approached her. But dizzied by the strange encounter and the odd sensations the handsome new duke created in her.
Chapter Four
Kit stood along the terrace wall, staring down at the dim shadows in the garden below. After his conversation with Sarah, he had come straight here. He needed escape. From his well-meaning friends, but also from the odd feelings his talk with her had created.
He didn’tlikeSarah. He had reasons for that. And yet when he spoke to her he’d felt…comforted somehow. He’d let go of the past and just…been.
Her words about the nature of grief, of forgetting and not forgetting, had sunk deep into his soul. She’d spoken to him of distraction and all he could do was look at her, so pretty in her mourning attire, her blonde hair bright against the dark, her blue eyes filled with empathy and understanding.
“Do you want to be alone?”
Kit stiffened and turned to find that Baldwin, Duke of Sheffield, had stepped out of the parlor and was standing by the door, watching him. Kit shrugged. “If I said yes, would it matter?”
Baldwin lifted his brows. “Of course it would. I would not force my presence on you. At least not right now.”
“Later then,” Kit said with a dry laugh.
“If any of us thought you had spiraled into your grief for too long, probablyanyof us would seek you out to bring you home to us.” Baldwin sighed. “But you have only recently lost your father. You are allowed to want to be alone. So I’ll leave you.”
“Wait,” Kit said, gripping his hands against the rough stone wall and returning his gaze to the garden. “I’m sorry I am…difficult.”
“You aren’t,” Baldwin said as he moved to stand beside Kit. “Thesituationis difficult. I know what it is like to lose a beloved father. It may have been many years ago, but the pain is still there.”
“So I can look forward to feeling this way a very long time,” Kit murmured. “That is not comforting.”
Baldwin was quiet a moment. “Our situations are not the same,” he said softly. “I loved my father, and he was connected to us in a loving way. But from almost the moment he died, I discovered all his lies, his debts, things that would destroy our family. My mourning for him was truncated, intruded upon by the betrayal I felt in his bad actions and the responsibility that fell on my shoulders to correct all of them.”
Kit shook his head. “I cannot imagine how devastating it must have been to discover your father’s weaknesses so soon after his death. You suffered alone for a long time.”
Baldwin sighed. “I created a prison for myself far more than he ever did. And then Helena set me free. As did the kindness of my dearest friends.”
Baldwin squeezed his arm gently and Kit nodded. The group as a whole had taken part in helping their friend invest a loan. In just two years, Baldwin had already paid them back in full, so Kit knew some part of the answer to his next question.
“Your new investments are paying off, aren’t they?”
Baldwin nodded. “Yes. Thanks to all of you and the suggestion that I invest in Mr. Danford’s ventures, my coffers are refilling every month. And that helps, of course. The pressure is coming off. But it is really my life with Helena that has helped me most in my grief.”
