She reached him, unaware of his roiling, troubling thoughts, and smiled. That smile lit up the world, lit uphisworld. “Will you dance with me, Simon?”
He stiffened at the request and the impression it would leave. Them looking happy and light together seemed a cruel slap in the face to Graham.
“Is that a good idea?” he asked.
Her smile faltered, and she swallowed hard before she said, “We’ve always danced before, Simon. Always.”
He shook his head. “And look where it has gotten us.”
Now there was no smile anymore, just a flash of pain and struggle. “Are you determined to be so miserable with where we are?”
“How can I not?” He glanced around the room, at all the eyes that were subtly or blatantly on them. “Look at them staring and judging and whispering. Look at the strain on James’s face as he leaves the dancefloor with Emma. They should be happy and instead they must now deal with this. Look at the way I’ve betrayed all our friends. You talked to Kit—he must have stressed his disdain to you just as much as he did to me.”
She shook her head. “Actually, he did not. Idlewood told me he regretted whatever words were said between you earlier tonight. And he feels, as I do, that you are punishing yourself enough.”
He wished that were true. It didn’t feel true. It felt like he should suffer.
“Please don’t refuse me,” she whispered, and took his hand.
Meg smiled, not the bright, glowing smile she had displayed when she approached, but something soft. Gentle. Something that was for him, only him. He was drawn into it, drawn into her, just as he had been for years. If it was wrong then, he hadn’t cared. He’d still felt it even as he fought it.
He’d lost the fight in the end. When she looked at him that way, he would always lose the fight.
She seemed to sense that and wordlessly led him to the dancefloor. He put his arms around her, shivering as his hand splayed across her hip, his fingers folded around hers so intimately. He wanted her, so very desperately. Touching her had never made that easier. Now that he’d tasted her, taken her, it was even worse.
They swung into the steps, silent as she kept her gaze focused on his. He couldn’t escape the dark brown depths—he drowned in them as always. For that moment, it was only the two of them in the world. Adam and Eve, meant for each other, but brought down by temptation.
That temptation had its price. But as he held her so close, he recognized it also had its benefits. After all, he was holding the woman he loved. In a week, he would be married to her. What he’d always wanted, he would get.
“I have a new riddle for you,” Meg said.
His fingers tightened against her hip and he smiled down at her. For nearly the entire time they’d known each other, he and Meg had challenged each other with riddles, though in the past year they hadn’t played their game. Not since the answer to one riddle he presented to her was love. After that, the game hadn’t seemed as fun.
“We haven’t shared a riddle in a long time,” he said.
Her expression brightened. “I’ve been saving this one. Would you like to hear it?”
He nodded. “Challenge away, my lady.”
“My first descends from yon eternal skies,” she said. “And caused you and me lot of trouble, but that part doesn’t rhyme. A winged weapon from my second flies. And in the whole these colors may be seen, yellow and blue, as well as red and green.”
He pursed his lips as he considered her words. Then he cocked his head. “A rainbow?”
She laughed. “Indeed, it is a rainbow. Good show, Simon.”
He felt his shoulders relax as they fell into their usual rhythm together. In that moment, the dance felt like old times, her smile like old times. They were friends, as they always had been and the drama that followed them presently didn’t feel so painful.
The music ended and he executed a quick bow before he took her arm and began to lead her from the dancefloor. For the first time in a long while, he had a bit of hope.
And then they passed by a small group of attendees. From behind a fan, he heard hissing tones and saw glares as the two of them made their way off the floor. His heart sank, taking with it all his good thoughts. When he looked at Meg out of the corner of his eye, he saw her cheeks flaming red. The glisten of tears in her eyes.
All his fault. He couldn’t pretend this wasn’t his fault. Or that the consequences weren’t real and powerful. When he came near her, he hurt her. That was just a fact, even if he didn’t want it to be true.
“Simon,” she said, turning toward him.
He shook his head. He loved her. He had always loved her. But James had been right in choosing someone else for her. Simon had never been good enough for her, and he still wasn’t.
“Excuse me, Meg. I must go,” he said, then turned away from her and left the ballroom as quickly as he could.
