He stopped me right there, pressing his thumb into my lips. “Earlier was bad. I went too far. I know that. It won’t happen again.”
My heart constricted. “I want to believe you but?—”
“Sunny, believe it." He stroked a hand over my cheek. "We only have until late March. I’m not going to risk our arrangement again.”
Wow. Who knew the Ice King would be so good at making my heart melt? "Okay, I believe you."
"Good."
He pulled my head back into his chest, and I settled in with a contented sigh—only to risk our newfound peace by asking,“What did Max mean when he said he was wondering when the real Cole would show up? Why did he act like you punching him was some kind of victory?”
Silence. And his heart beat faster underneath my ear. But eventually, he spoke again.“After my mother died, I had some problems keeping myself in check, and when somebody pissed me off, said the wrong thing to me—boom. I used to get in a lot of fights. Got kicked out of a few schools and went through a battalion of kid headshrinkers. That’s the Cole Max knew growing up. Let’s just say today wasn’t the first time I’ve punched him.”
“So are you saying Maxtriggeredyou?" I let my hand curl into his chest hair. "On purpose?”
“Maybe. I can never really tell when it comes to him. Max and I got in a few fights when we were younger, but we actually got along a lot better back then,” he answered. “Caused all kinds of mayhem together. But then my grandfather sent me away to military school, and that kind of turned me around—or maybe I just grew up. I don't know. But I learned to control my emotions. Enrolled in a combined undergrad/MBA program at Tulane, and my grandfather took me under his wing when I finally returned to Vegas—started grooming me to take his place. Things changed. I wasn't the guy Max knew anymore.”
“So he felt like you left him behind?”
“Actually, I've never given much thought to how Max felt about my change,” Cole admitted. “But yeah, I guess he's like Peter Pan, trying to drag everyone back to Neverland with him. He wants the old Cole back, and he’s pissed at me for growing up.”
“Or maybe he just wants to be close again,” I suggested. “Brothers, like you two used to be. But he’s afraid you’ll never see him as anything other than a screwup.”
Cole stilled. “Did he tell you that?”
“No, but that’s the sense I got when I had lunch with him. Or maybe you're right."
It occurred to me: "Maybe I'm just projecting my feelings onto Max."
"Because of your dad."
"Because ofRich Harrison," I corrected, my voice turning bitter."Nora actually deserves her title. Rich isn't my anything."
"WasRich Harrisonthe reason you empathized with Max about his mother? The reason you stole from my grandma's charity fund?"
Wow.The Ice King was learning fast. And putting everything together with that case of empathy he'd caught.
I was more excited about correcting his usage of the term "dad" than telling him the full story. But wrapped up in his arms, it felt like a willful act of miscommunication to keep holding back the truth, which was, "Kind of."
I took a deep breath. "My mom was basically his kept woman. The way she tells it, Rich Harrison allowed her to have me, but only if she didn't put his name on the birth certificate. And I definitely wasn't allowed to be there when he came around. At first, she shuttled me off to my grandma, but eventually, she gave up on trying to keep those two parts of her life separate and gave me to my grandma to raise. It was actually a blessing. I got a relatively stable upbringing, with someone who loved me without reservation—and had colorful friends like Nora."
I smiled, thinking of my childhood, growing up in the backstage areas of some of the Benton's ever-changing roster of glittering shows, where my grandmother worked as a costumer after she aged out of the Benton Girls line. "I think Grandma had regrets about partying too much when she was raising my mom as a single mother, so she put all the nurture she hadn't given her own daughter into me. But sadly, life as some guy's super-secret mistress began to take a toll on my mom's psyche."
My heart shadowed, remembering Star's increasingly rare visits. "She turned to drugs to help soothe her, and I guess Rich Harrison got sick of her because as soon as I turned eighteen, he called it off. Anyway, Grandma spent most of her pension getting Mom into a decent rehab center in California. And my mom decided to stay out there. For a while, she was doing great. She got a real job that didn't revolve around whether Rich Harrison could get away from his wife and kids that week. She was truly thriving. She even managed to stay clean after my grandma's funeral. So, when I got accepted into Manhattan University for a degree in Dance Pedagogy, I thought it would be safe to invite her out for a girl's weekend. I even used all my employee discounts to book us into a nice room at the Benton so she wouldn't have to stay at my shitty apartment."
I stopped. Feeling stupid. So stupid.
But Cole prodded, "Then what happened."
I sighed. "I'm still not sure. Somehow, they got in contact with each other. And I guess they hooked up, and Rich Harrison insinuated that now that my mom was clean and he was retiring soon, she could move back to Vegas. It could be like before. My mom was so happy, talking about staying here instead of going back to California. But then, when she tried to call him, she discovered that he'd blocked her, like everywhere. That was how she found out he’d changed his mind about them getting back together. And I'd been practically bragging about how Nora had put me in charge of Grandma's charity fund. I guess she must have seen an opportunity when my laptop was open, and she also had access to my ID and all of my government information. Plus, she's always been great about upkeep. Even with the years of drug use, she could easily pass for a woman in her thirties."
My face grew hot with shame, remembering how I didn't put all of this together until it was too late. "Basically, she pretended to be me and went on another bender with all the money she withdrew from the charity fund. Anyway, I eventually found her in a place that made that apartment you got me evicted from look like a palace. Most of the money was gone—just gone. I never got a clear answer from her about whether it went to drugs or if it was stolen, but we agreed she could keep the rest if she used it to go to rehab. And that's why it's only kind of Rich Harrison's fault. Really, it's all mine for inviting her back to Vegas to celebrate with me—especially when I knew all of her triggers."
That was the story. I finally stopped talking and waited for Cole to respond to finding out that he'd made an arrangement with a complete idiot.
"So she drained a charity fund you were in charge of, and you think it's your fault?"
"I'm the one who invited her back here—just when her life was going good."
