Cole grunted. "And you didn't tell me the full story from the start because you knew I'd go after her."
"Wouldn't you have? Wouldn't you still if I hadn't added thatBe Niceitem to my relationship terms?"
To his credit, Cole didn't even try to lie. "That's exactly what I would have done. But you know it's not your fault, Sunny. None of the fucked-up things our parents do is our fault. That's just something we tell ourselves after they leave us to deal with the emotional fallout."
His words circled around my mind, like a plane that wanted to land but couldn't because of the bad weather.
I backed away from what he was trying to tell me by returning to the original subject. "Main point, that's why you never had anything to worry about with Max. I would never knowingly cheat on anyone. That's why the breakup with my ex—whose name was Henry, by the way—devastated me. I hated thinking I'd become my mother."
"You could never be your mother. And I shouldn't have accused you." Cole's arms loosened around me. I thought maybe he was going to end the conversation by letting me out of his hold. But then he said,“My father left my mother for Max’s.”
“Yeah, I remember you telling me that before. Is that why you got so angry when you saw us together?”
“No, I got so angry because Max’s mother was my mother’s sister. My aunt. Like you, I didn’t like the idea of reliving that piece of history with my own brother.”
Understanding dawned, and suddenly, it wasn’t just Cole holding me anymore. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “Oh, my gosh, that explains so much. Thank you for telling me. Thank you.”
I guess he must have been just as emotionally exhausted as me. He accepted my comforting hug without a fight.
“The point is, I’ve learned the hard way that when I start to get out of control like that, I need to reign myself in,” he said into my shoulder. “I turn off my feelings like a switch until I can trust myself again. It's part of one of the many programs I went through—one I privately call Rage Control.The thing is, I forgot the second step of Rage Control. Turn off your emotions and remove yourself from the situation. I didn’t remove myself from the situation like I should have when we got back here. I couldn't. I know this relationship is fake with a self-destruct timer on it. But for some reason...”
He didn't finish. But he didn't have to.
"I understand exactly how you feel," I answered with a wry chuff. "The line between fake and real is getting blurry for me, too, but..."
I leaned back to say, "You like to be in control. I kind of like when you’re in control. But it becomes weird when you’retooin control. So how about this? For the rest of this arrangement, you can be in control. I’ll do whatever you say. But if I want control back for any reason...”
“It’s yours,” he agreed quickly. “Those are fair terms.”
Then he smiled and brought his hand back up to my face. "You know what, Sunny?" he asked, caressing my cheek with his thumb.
"What?" I asked as his lips hovered over mine.
"I like all of your terms."
"You do?"
"I do."He kissed me once, twice. "No more fights. No more misunderstandings. Until our expiration date in March. Agreed?"
"Agreed," I whispered, ignoring the twinge of pain that came with the thought of our contract-mandated breakup in March.
For once, I must have done a good job of acting the part. Cole took my mouth in a devouring kiss.
And for the rest of the afternoon, he showed me why it wasn't a bad idea at all to let him be in control.
CHAPTER31
Cole
"Fine, you heartless bastard, you win!"Jasper Whittaker, Benton Worldwide's oldest board member, threw the black file down on my desk at Benton Worldwide's Los Angeles satellite office.
"Glad we're finally seeing eye to eye on this," I answered without an ounce of emotion.
"Your grandfather would be rolling in his grave if he could see you now!"
Actually, it had been my grandfather who'd inspired me to ensure Jasper Whittaker's capitulation.
Getting his yea had been more of a principle thing than a necessity. The truth was, I had the votes I needed without Jasper. But when I sprung the resolution to remove my grandmother from the chair position at Monday’s board meeting, I wanted to serve my vengeance cold with a one-hundred-percent agreement, minus Max.
