He’s a good father. Better than a lot of men. I’m happy that Sasha’s all right. I’m happy that she will always have him to count on in the end.
When we get out into the cool night air, I take in a deep breath, letting the air cool my lungs. In my mind, all I can think about is what comes next. I didn’t even really get the chance to unpack my clothes, so I guess all that will need to happen is for him to arrange to bring me my car.
There are shadows all around us stepping into the headlights of cars placed around us. It looks like stage lights. Like I missed some great theatrical showdown. Bodies lie on the sidelines, the bottoms of expensive shoes light up dully in the yellow lights…
The shadows come fully into the light. Roman’s men. They surround us and speak rapid Russian to him. He speaks back in clipped, precise tones. As he talks to the closest one, he urges Sasha to follow him into the darkness. She obeys, but not before looking over her shoulder cautiously as she moves away.
Roman gives me a quick glance, then over my head to Ares as he says in English, “Take her too. I’ll follow in a little while.”
“Got it.” Ares takes me by the hand and pulls me away. “Come on.”
I go with him, keeping my eyes forward. Thisisit. Whatever happens to me from this point on, our relationship is done.
Ares pulls upto the house and parks. We haven’t said anything since he put us both in the car and drove away from the scene. Honestly, I have nothing to say to him. I have nothing to say to anyone.
I look through the passenger’s side window at the house, my heart sinking into my stomach. I’m not sure what I was expecting. I didn’t really have time to sit and fantasize about Roman riding in to save us on a white horse, sweeping me up in his arms, grateful that I am unharmed and alive. I feel selfish to even be thinking like that when Sasha is much more deserving of that outcome than I’ll ever be.
“He wants you to stay here until he returns,” Ares says. “I know he didn’t say that to you directly, but it’s understood that’s what he expects.”
I look over at him, seeing him and not seeing him. I’m just doing my best not to start crying. “I don’t even have my car here,” I say to him. “I couldn’t leave if I wanted to.”
Ares nods shortly, then glances at the backseat where Sasha had been riding in silence. “Right, well, let’s get you inside.”
He gets out and walks around the car, opening both our doors for us. Sasha and I walk up the stairs and into the house together in solemn silence.
The house seems so much bigger than it usually does. Maybe because he’s not here. Maybe because I’ll be leaving soon. I walk through the living room, past the remnants of bloodstains where one of his men died trying to protect us all. So much bloodshed for loves that have long passed us by.
As we get to the second floor, Sasha turns to me. “Are you okay?”
I pause and look at her as if seeing her for the first time. She’s standing there, her big brown eyes inquisitive, filled with concern.
“I’m–I’m fine,” I stammer. I try to force a smile, but I can feel that it’s not working, so I just give up on it. “I’m going to go and take a shower. You should probably get some rest.”
“Doubt that,” she says with a little laugh. “I don’t think I’m going to sleep again for a long time. And anyway, I’m definitely not closing my eyes until Dad gets home.” She pauses and tilts her head toward me. “We’re really lucky, huh? Even with everything. Even in this life. I think we’re pretty lucky.”
“Sure,” is all I can say.
I leave and wander over to Roman’s room. As I step over the threshold, his scent covers me. Sweet, musky, warm… The wayhe smells ignites so much inside me. The feel of his arms around me, the cool feel of his kiss on the back of my neck…
It’s just as well. I was never cut out to be his queen… his prize. Being with him was just not meant to be.
I walk over to my suitcase, still packed. Still sitting silently by the bed. What a ride this whole thing has been.
I lift it onto the bed and open it, fishing out a change of clothes. My hands and arms are covered in the grit from the floor of the warehouse and my hair smells stale with the scents of dust and dirt. I’m looking forward to showering it off my skin.
I go into the master bathroom and start my shower. As I get undressed, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Faint bruises on my ass, scratches on my hips, signs of passion from our lovemaking.
Where on earth am I ever going to find another man like him? Am I going to have to walk through this life settling on some nice, safe accountant instead?
I step into the shower and let the warm water wash it all away. I’ll feel better once I’m all clean and in fresh clothes. It’ll be like I’m starting fresh, anyway.
The shower doesn’t last long. I’m just in there long enough to clean the dirt off my body and wash the smell of fear out of my hair. Once I’m done, I get out and dry off, then get dressed. The mirror shows the cloudy reflection of myself, wet hair falling in white waves around my face and down my shoulders, an old T-shirt and faded jeans. No makeup. No pretenses. Just me.
I tie my hair up in a quick bun and leave the bathroom, my old clothes under my arm. And I pause. Sasha’s standing by my suitcase, an odd look on her face. She looks up at me and smiles.
“You never unpacked,” she says.
Oh, dear. How do I even explain this to her? We were just getting to know one another, too.
