“No,” I answer, walking my dirty clothes over to the suitcase. I tuck them into the large pocket under the lid to separate them, then I go to close it.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
A part of me had hoped that I would be gone by the time any of it would have to be explained, but I guess the burden is on. I suppose it should be since I caused this problem in the first place.
“Listen,” I tell her, “your father and I… It’s not really working out between us. I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave.”
Her eyes get big and a line of water appears in them. “No,” she says. “You can’t leave. He saved you.”
“Sasha.”
“You can’t, okay? You just got here. And my Dad, he needs you. He might not express like other people do, but he… he likes you a lot. He wants you to stay. He saved you the same way he did me. That means something.”
She’s so sweet. God, how I wish it were that simple. I take her gently by the shoulders. “It’s more complicated than that. Sometimes, liking someone just isn’t enough. Sometimes, things happen that you can’t get around.”
“Like what?” she asks me. “Because whatever it is, it can’t be all that bad. I can’t be?—”
“I’m sorry, Sasha,” I say firmly. “It’s just the way it is. I can’t change it.”
There’s a knock at the door, breaking up our conversation. We both look over at it, the same little sliver of leftover fear from everything that’s happened sticking with us.
A familiar voice comes through the wood. “Ember? It’s Roman. Let me in.”
30
ROMAN
Now that it’s all over, everything is falling to place in my mind.
It’s like the clock has been turned back in a way. I try to focus on arranging the cleanup and the process of making arrangements to move the guns as well. With the warehouse being compromised and the cleanup at the club still to do, the coming days will be busy.
Normally, I’d be ready for it. I’m always ready to fight, build, and rebuild for the brotherhood. This time, however, it feels incomplete.
Something has changed within me. The moment I saw Sergei’s man with his hands all over Ember, everything went hazy and I acted. Whatever control I have ever possessed was gone in those moments. I needed to cleanse the earth of the fucker who dared to lay a hand on her.
The last time I felt that way for any woman, I married her. No matter what’s happened, my mind and body have been wired to Ember. I was made to protect and keep her.
It’s not an easy thing for me to come to after all these years. We rescued her and my daughter, and for the sake of my own sanity, I focused my attention on Sasha. Making sure she was all right. I couldn’t yet grasp it all.
It’s been about an hour since all that and I’ve found myself here. In my car, looking up at my house and wondering what I’m going to say to Ember when I walk through the door. The last time we talked, I made it clear that I wanted her to leave. I was so sure that she had been the one to betray me.
My heart, or whatever is left of it, knew better. It knew when we made love that last time. It’s known it all along.
I have to have it out with her. Whatever happens next, however it happens, she needs to know where my head is.
I made the walk into the house. It still needs to be cleaned. Our cleaners are going to have a field day over these next few days between my house and the warehouse. I have to set all of that aside for now.
Up the stairs and to the first floor. I peek into Sasha’s room to see that she’s not there. And then I hear her voice across the hall.
Through the door, I hear her talking in frantic tones. The closer I get to the source, the closed door of my room, the more I hear her.
“… whatever it is, it can’t be that bad…”
I hear Ember’s low voice. Calm. Resolute. She’s trying to talk her down.
I knock and the talking stops. “Ember?” I pause, half expecting her to answer. She doesn’t. “It’s Roman. Let me in.”
There’s nothing at first. It’s almost as though they’ve gone quiet as a way to hide from me. Like I didn’t just hear them talking.
