“You’re so happy,” she said. “And here I thought you were mostly a contented loner.”
He growled, a sound of contemplation. “Sometimes, especially when I’m wrestling with a decision, I need the solitude of a long trek over my land.”
“But?” She made herself a plate of eggs and buttery toast and took them to the table.
“But I’m stronger with my pack. It might sound strange, but I feel my strength best when they’re near me.”
“And your strength is important to you.”
“It’s what I am, April. It was given to me as a responsibility, for their sakes not my own.”
Meanwhile Drew had seized control through physical and mental violence toward not only her but also the other wolves. Wolves who used their own aggression to regain some sense of power.
A low growl brought her back to the present. Her right hand was fisted tight, a slice of toast mashed against her palm. Malachi sat at the table across from her, rumbling from deep in his chest. The sound eased the knot in her stomach.
“I did it again,” she said. “Lost myself for a minute. It’s—it’s like any random thing can put me back there.”
He didn’t try to make it better, makeherbetter. Instead he nodded. He listened and accepted and stayed nearby, and the low rumbling sound of comfort he made really did bring her comfort.
Hours later the pack began to arrive, filtering a few at a time into Malachi’s backyard. She watched out the window as they came, but she felt frozen. She tried to bolster her courage. They weren’t hurting each other. They weren’t yelling curses. In fact they were all pitching in to set up tables and chairs, to spread blue-vinyl tablecloths and weight them against the summer breeze. If not for the noticeably muscular physiques of every adult male present, this pack might have been a bunch of humans getting together for a normal human cookout.
April swallowed hard against a sour taste in the back of her throat. She pushed open Malachi’s French doors and took a step onto the patio as one of the wolves she didn’t know gave Nathan a shove to the shoulder.
A tiny noise formed in her throat. She turned and fled back into the house. Nausea hit hard and sudden, and she ran to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet but didn’t throw up.
“April,” came a quiet rasp behind her.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I can’t. I can’t.” Tears rose in her eyes, dripped onto the tile. “I’m sorry.”
A low rumble filled the room, but he didn’t enter, instead stayed just outside the doorway. “Can you tell me if something happened? Something to take you back?”
“That other wolf pushed Nathan. Not like he meant it, but—but that’s all it took for them.”
“For Drew’s pack.”
She nodded. She was shaking now. “One shove and they—they’d be trying to break bones. They would hurt each other so badly, and—and Nathan was kind to me, and I thought—he’s going to be hurt, he’s about to be hurt—”
He rumbled low again. “Nathan is fine. Will you come with me and see for yourself?”
“Just—just to the window?”
“Just to the window. Come.” When she swiveled on her knees to face him, he offered his hand. She took it, and he lifted her to her feet and walked with her down the hall, back to the kitchen that overlooked the yard. She walked on wooden legs while her body quaked. All the way he repeated quietly, “You’re safe. I promise you are safe.”
She was. Beside him, she was. For six nights he had honored the lock on the door. For six days he had given her quiet, space, time alone. He was Malachi. Malachi was safe.
Out the window, more of the pack had gathered. She searched for the bright orange hair of the wolf who had brought her here, who had treated her with cheerful friendliness. There he was, standing at one of the tables, stacking plates and bowls. She stood there for maybe five minutes, watching closely, her eyes following him. And Malachi was right. Nathan wasn’t hurt. At last she sighed, and the panic ebbed from her body.
“They’re all safe,” Malachi said, gesturing broadly to the entire pack. “They won’t be hurt. You don’t need to fear for them.”
“I want to stay here. At the window.” Her voice trembled on every word. “Please, I can’t go out there yet. Is that okay?”
“Whatever you need. Go to the library if you need to.”
“No, I want to see who they are, what they do. I just need a barrier right now.”
April looked up into his eyes. Without thinking she had stepped in close to him, her arm less than an inch from his. Her mouth opened with the shock of what she had done, how she had sought safety so near this alpha.
“It’s all right,” he said. “See, you’re safe.”
