“I stayed with him. We talked after, and he told me about the dream. He didn’t want to explain himself to the others, didn’t want them to see him that way. He was carrying a lot of shame. So he and I camped often that summer, just the two of us. He woke me up countless times. I woke him from the dreams when I could, and after them he talked, night after night until finally he could sleep through one. A week later he said he was ready, and the pups all camped together again.”
“You were a good friend to him,” she said.
He supposed that was true enough, but it was nothing special. “He’s pack.” As he spoke the words, a realization struck him. He shouldn’t have overlooked this. “I’m sorry you’re not able to contact your people right now. A friend or family member you trust—I’m sure their help would be better than mine.”
“I miss my mom.” Her voice dropped. “It was hard for her when I got so tangled up with Nik, but…but lately we’d been doing better, getting close again.”
“And your father?”
“We lost him about four years ago. Cancer. It was really fast. He told me when he first got diagnosed, ‘You never expect the thing that turns your life into Before and After. I guess mine’s going to be cancer, but don’t count me out for the After, kiddo.’ He was gone three months later.”
Four years ago. Around the time Malachi had lost William—his alpha, his teacher, his friend. By now the knife of grief had dulled, but it would never leave him. “I’m very sorry, April.”
“You know, I’ve got my own Before and After now. And I didn’t see it coming either.” Long silent minutes passed. At last April spoke again, more softly this time. “Malachi?”
“I’m here.”
“This did help.” She yawned, and a smile found him from deep in his wolf heart.
“Can you sleep now?”
“I think so. Thanks for sitting up with me.”
“My pleasure,” he said.
“Thank you for…for not asking me to open the door. Or insisting I open it.”
“It’s your door now. Yours to open or keep shut.”
He went back to the couch and lay down, but he wouldn’t sleep again before morning. Not while his heart held so much, so many feelings he couldn’t even name.
Nine
DrewinvadedApril’sdreamsfor three of the next five nights. She spent the days quietly, often alone. She ate Malachi’s food and read his books, conversed with him a little at a time. She walked down the hill behind the cabin when he was home—armed with a walkie-talkie, as if she needed the reminder that her enemies could trespass on this pack’s land any time. She stayed inside anytime he left her to be guarded by the wolf called Rhett, whom she never saw after the first day.
Once Malachi drove her into town for clothes and other items. She tried to pay, but he asked her not to use her credit card. He surely would have growled at the idea if they hadn’t been standing in the middle of the checkout line, those horrid blue contacts hiding his eyes. As it was, he offered his own credit card and rasped quietly,“Please. Until you’re safe.”
Those five days felt like convalescence from the previous forty-seven, yet she still woke gasping and crying more often than not. Each night, when she jolted up from the sludge of the dream, Malachi stood on the other side of her door. He stayed near while she calmed down, then told her another story of the pups he grew up with. He never used their names.
She learned a few things though. Their gang of five included a fun-loving spontaneous pup, a quiet methodical pup, a younger pup who felt big feelings and dared big feats in an attempt to prove his place, and an affable pup who would rise to any dare and help others anytime. One of these four had to be the fifteen-year-old with nightmares, but she couldn’t parse which. And in the midst of these personalities there was also Malachi. He had been their leader, careful and thoughtful, looking out for their safety but tugging reins only when necessary. He didn’t put this role into words, but he didn’t have to.
The fifth night, Friday night, when her heart rate began to settle and she was able to get out of bed and go to the door, a quiet whisper came to her from deep inside.Safe with Malachi.It wasn’t a new thought, but until now she’d never considered it in the aftermath of the dream. She pressed her hand to the door.
“Malachi?”
“I’m here.”
“I can’t open the door.”
“You don’t have to,” he said.
“I wish I could, though. I wish we could…sit together while we talk. Instead of this. But this is all I can do.”
“This is enough, April.”
They talked a long time that night, almost until daybreak.
Next day was the alpha’s turn to host the cookout. April shuffled to the kitchen to make her breakfast and found him still there. She offered to help set up for his guests, which would arrive between noon and one. Malachi explained the tables, chairs, compostable plates and bowls all came from various members of the pack and would be set up as they arrived. He did gather ahead of time an assortment of condiments and toppings for his venison burgers. As he moved around the kitchen, his chest gave a low, constant rumble, and his eyes shone with quiet anticipation.
