“Oh. Oh my.” I have no idea how to even begin processing this information. I glance up at Ben. “And you came with her?”
“I was leaving anyway. Don’t like it in the Capitol, and I’d done what I was there for. So I told her she could come along if she wanted.”
“So you’re coming home?”
Annabelle shakes her head. “I can’t. I don’t think I can stay here. I walked out on Chad against his will. He’s not a good man. He’ll want to retaliate somehow, and he has thepower to hurt me if he chooses. Or hurt Ben. We’ve got to get across the border.”
“Oh no, so you’re really leaving?” My happiness at seeing her unexpectedly sinks into something heavy and sad.
“Not for good,” she says. Despite the dramatic situation, she still possesses the matter-of-fact confidence she’s had all her life. Like she knows that any decision she makes is the right one and everyone else will come around to it eventually. “I promise it won’t be for good. But for a year or so. I need for there to be enough time to pass that the blow to Chad’s ego isn’t so new and my identity isn’t so easy to track. But I’ll be back, no question.”
She glances from Mason to me. “In fact, I wanted to see if you want to come too.”
My whole body jerks. “What?”
“Come with me. Why shouldn’t you? You could come on your own, or both of you, or whatever. We’re heading to the wilderness right now. That’s where Ben is from. He says it’s more rustic, but it’s mostly safe and comfortable and a lot more free than the Central Cities. It’s a better life there.”
I stare. Open my mouth but no sound comes out. I throw a quick glance up at Mason, but his expression has gone completely blank. Stoic. The way it was at the very beginning.
I have no idea what he’s thinking.
“You don’t have to answer right now,” Annabelle says,evidently seeing my confusion. “We can talk. I was hoping to spend some time with you today if that’s all right, and then I’ll go visit Mother one last time before I leave.”
I gasp. “You’re going to see her?”
She shrugs with a twist of her mouth. “It will probably be the last time. But I feel… it feels unfinished. So I’m going to see her tomorrow. Then tomorrow night at midnight Ben has arranged a ride for us across the border. An unofficial ride so no one tries to stop us. I made up an excuse, so I don’t think Chad will even be looking for me for a few days, but I’m not going to take a risk on that.” Her voice is softer and harder as she adds, “I’m getting away.”
“I’m glad you’re getting away. And of course you can stay here today.” I look up at Mason. “Right?”
“Sure thing. We got only one extra bed in the house but?—”
“I’ll be good in the barn,” Ben says in his relaxed, easy way. “I’ve slept way worse than that.”
We decide that Ben will go help Mason and Bill with the herd so Annabelle and I can have some visiting time.
Once the men have left, I show my sister around the farm, and she helps me make the honey cake I had planned for this evening. Then we have a light lunch and hang out in the sunny living room to chat.
She tells me more about her marriage and how andwhy she decided to leave. She tells me all the information Ben has given her about the wilderness. She asks about how things are going for me and why I would hesitate to leave.
“I know living here with Mason was your best choice before, but you have another one now.” She’s studying me soberly, really trying to understand. “Wouldn’t it be better to live somewhere you could really be free?”
“Y-yes. I guess. But…”
“But what?”
“But I’ve been happy here. With Mason and Bill and the farm. Is it wrong not to want to leave?”
“No. It’s not.” She pushes her thick braid back behind her shoulder. “And I’ll understand if you choose not to. But I hope you’ll think about it. Really think.”
I nod. “Of course I’ll think about it.”
“Because here’s what I’ve learned in the past year.” She pauses. Swallows. Glances away. “We live our lives with what we know. And we teach ourselves that our situation is reality. Unalterable. The only way. It might not be great, but it will never change. So we do our best to build a life within that reality. What else can we do? But accepting a bad world as reality can stop us from recognizing how bad it is. It can keep us from seeing how many ways it’s actually hurting us. Even dehumanizing us.”
I’m listening. Trying to take the words in and understand them. But it’s a lot. And something in my mind is rising up defensively.
As if I don’t really want to hear them.
“Listen to me, Teresa. I love you. You’re the only person in this entire world that I love. And I want you to have everything this world allows. I want that for myself too. I’ve been thinking a lot about Father lately. About what he believed and the pamphlets he wrote. And he would have been… crushed by what happened to his daughters.”
