“Maybe going back to Chicago will be what I need to do that. I have to try,” I argued.
“Let me speak to the others. If you go, it will be at your agreement to follow the orders of my men, Cara. I will not have you put at risk.”
“As long as I have either Dio, Dante, or Arran with me,” I stipulated. “I’m sure your men are all loyal, but I’m still uneasy with men I don’t know and trust.
“Of course, sweetheart. I’d never send you with men you’re unfamiliar with. I would come with you myself, but I have too much to handle here.”
“You need to be here when Gia returns anyway. You need to try and find out what Mum lied to her about. We need to know before we can start to untwist the web of lies I’m sure she spun.”
“This is such a fucking mess!” Rafe hissed, the first sign of any anger he had shown.
“It is, but we can fix it. You try to get through to Gia, and I’ll find out just how much more we’re fucked. Hopefully, together, we can bring an end to it all, and I can get my sister back. We can.”
“I still don’t like the idea of you going back to the States,” he sighed.
“Nor do I, but it needs to be done. I’ll be fine. Maybe going back there will be what I need to help me get a handle on everything,” I mused. At least I would have to find some strength to face those streets again, and I needed that – my strength. I needed to know it was still inside of me, beneath the chaos and fear.
CHAPTER 13
CALLAN
I walked in from that day’s classes feeling exhausted. I might have stretched the truth a little when I told Cara I had slept fine on the sofa. I hadn’t. But I doubted I’d have slept well that night, no matter where I lay, after seeing Cara so scared and upset. I’d only dared to sleep lightly all night, wanting to be able to hear if she woke again, afraid. Only I’d fucked that up, because when she had actually woken from a nightmare, I hadn’t heard her.
Now I was worn out after a full day of lectures, with an aching neck and shoulders from the odd angle I slept at, and a ton of pent up tension from the simmering anger I had been filled with ever since I found Cara, mid panic attack, the night before. All I wanted to do was find her, and give her a huge hug if she would allow me to.
I had been worried about her all day. I hated leaving her alone, even though I knew, because I had checked before I left for uni that morning, that Rafe had been with her all day. But he couldn’t have given her his full attention, since I knew he was snowed under with work, and that would have left Cara at a loose end, alone. She didn’t fair well alone at that time. There were too many terrifying memories and flashbacks just waiting for the quiet moments, when they would get a grip on her mind and over take her.
“Cal?” I looked up and saw Cara tentatively moving down the stairs towards me.
“Hi, gorgeous. How was your day?” I asked, quickly hanging my coat on the coat stand so I could get to her.
“Pretty rough. Did you hear about my Mum contacting Gia?” she asked. Now that she was closer, I could see she was trembling slightly, and she was fidgeting with the ends of her sleeves, which was something she did when she was feeling uneasy.
“Briefly. I spoke to Arran at lunchtime. I’m sorry, Cara.”
I had been raging when Arran told me what they had uncovered, and the truth it unveiled – that Cara’s Mum had likely been putting on an act so Cara was forced to supply her with drugs and alcohol. As if Cara hadn’t been through enough, now she had to face this betrayal.
“I should never have expected anything better from her,” she shrugged.
“Come here and give me a hug, please. I’ve missed you today,” I told her plainly, opening my arms in invitation. I could see she was upset, but fighting hard not to show it. She needed some comfort before her anxiety took any firmer of a grip on her.
“Yes please,” she squeaked, then she dropped down the last step and straight into my arms. I held her tight to me. She was so short the top of her head didn’t even reach my chin, and yet she just fit against me so perfectly, I felt like she belonged there, and I wanted to hold her there every single day for the rest of our lives. I was falling in love with her, hard and fast. “I missed you too,” she told me as she clung tightly to me.
“What were you doing? Have you been resting?” I asked with concern.
She was trembling more than I had realised from just looking at her, and she felt frozen.
“I tried, but my mind’s all over the place after what Rafe told me about my Mum and Gia. I’m going back to Chicago to find out what my Mum was really up to.”
“What?” I gasped, horrified by even the prospect of her going back to that place that had already caused her so much pain.
“I have to. I know who we need to talk to, to get answers. I already convinced Rafe. They’re all in a meeting now in the office, deciding who will come with me,” she explained.
“This doesn’t sound like a good idea, babe. Why do you need to go? Let the others handle it.”
“I can’t. It has to be me. Some of the people who might know something don’t deserve for me to set Dante on them. They won’t open up because they’re threatened, but they will for me. I’ll be safe. I already told Rafe I’ll do as I’m told, but it has to be me, Cal. I have to know what my Mum was really mixed up in.”
Her words were shaky, and pleading with me to understand, and I did. Sort of. I knew she needed to finish this if she were ever to find peace, and I got that she wanted to know what her own Mum had been up to, right under her nose. But none of that set me at ease when I thought of her back in the dangerous place she had escaped from.
