“I’m coming with you.” I made the decision there and then, and no one would change my mind.
I wasn’t trained like the others. I never wanted the life my brother chose. My plan was to repair bodies, not take them apart for information or revenge, but I could still be there for Cara. She didn’t only need protection, though I would always do my best to protect her as much as I could, but she would also need someone she trusted who knew her well. She needed someone to look out for her, and hold her, or pull her away when it was all becoming too much. I could do that. Iwoulddo that. I would be at her side through this, and whatever came, no matter what.
“No Cal. You have classes,” she argued.
“I can do most of it online, and I’m already ahead with most of my reading. I won’t fall behind, but even if that were a concern, I’d still be coming with you, Cara. I hope you already know this, but just in case you don’t, you matter to me. I’m drawn to you in a way I’ve never been attracted to a woman before. I think you were made for me, and I don’t ever want to let you go. Anything you have to face from now on, I want to face with you. Do you understand?” I asked, my heart beating way too fast at my admission.
“I’ll never be good enough for you, Cal,” she uttered, completely taking me by surprise. I had anticipated so many reactions from her when I admitted my feelings, but not that.
“What are you talking about? Of course you’re good enough for me. What does that even mean? You’re perfect for me. I really do believe you were made for me. We just fit together, don’t we? Don’t you feel that too, every time we’re together?”
“Yes. I do…I think so. I feel whole when I’m with you, like all the pieces of me that got stolen over the years, don’t matter, because you fill them. But that’s just it, Cal. So many pieces ofme are missing. I’m broken. I’ve made such a mess of my life. I’m not smart like you are either. I’m a mess. And you…you are the opposite. You deserve someone who can be everything for you. That can’t be me,” she whimpered, her eyes now spilling with tears as she tried to step out of my hold. I gripped her tighter, then picked her up so we were eye to eye, holding her even tighter and closer.
“You are everything I will ever need or want. You don’t see your worth, which I hate, but I’ll show you. I’ll show you how strong, and beautiful, and intelligent you are. It will be my honour to do it. I’m falling in love with you, Cara, and I don’t say that lightly. I know it’s fast and we need to go much slower, but I also need you to know that I want you, every piece, and I don’t need any of those pieces to be perfect. God knowns, I’m far from it,” I told her with every ounce of feeling I could put into the words.
“I think I’m falling for you too, but it scares me. I feel like I’m falling down some endless pit right now, and I don’t want to drag you with me, Cal,” she sniffled.
“That’s not going to happen. Think about what’s already happened. When you start to panic and get lost, what do I do?” I asked her. She thought for a couple of minutes, then looked up at me with just slightly less panic than before.
“You calm me down. Make me feel safe.”
“I catch you, Cara. Every time you start to fall, I catch you, and I always will, as many times as you need me to. I promise, I’ll always catch you. Neither of us will get near the bottom of that pit.”
“I was waiting for you,” she whispered.
“What do you mean?” I asked softly.
“Earlier. The other guys were here, and they made me feel better when they were close, but I…I felt so fragile after what Rafe told me. I couldn’t settle. I didn’t know what to do with myself, but I…I knew you’d be home soon, so I was just waiting on the landing up there…,” she pointed up the stairs. “…just waiting for you. I knew if you just cuddled me, I’d feel calmer. I was waiting for you to get home and hold me.”
“And I was thankful for that, because all I wanted to do all day was to come home and get you in my arms.”
“I get it. I feel what you feel, Cal. I want to be with you too, but this is all really new and after what’s happened…” she started to worry again. I could tell by the way her words and her breathing sped up.
“We can go slow. This isn’t a race. I’m not going anywhere, and you’re not either. I won’t let you.”
“Dante thinks I’m his,” she confessed. I wasn’t shocked by that. I already knew Dante was obsessed with her.
“I know. I also know his obsession isn’t unrequited by you. Dante wasn’t wrong earlier when he said we all need to talk.”
“What?” she gasped as she sat up in my arms and looked to me with confusion and a blush.
“I’m okay with whatever you want, Cara. As long as I get to be a part of what makes you happy.”
“I can’t!” She buried her face against my shoulder, hiding from me. “This is too much, right now, Cal. I can’t.”
“Okay. No more talk about the others for now,” I agreed, running my hand over her silky hair, hoping to settle her again.
“There’s just so much in my head right now. It’s exhausting. But I do want to be with you, Cal. You matter to me too, so much,” she told me tiredly.
“You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that,” I sighed in relief, laying a kiss on the top of her head. “But for now, let’s leave this talk until later, okay? You’re worn out. You’ve had a lot to deal with today.”
“I don’t want to sleep.”
“I know, but you need to. How about we put a film on the TV in the living room, and you can stay right where you are?” I suggested, hoping she would agree so I wouldn’t have to let her go just yet.
“I’ll do whatever you suggest, as long as I get to stay right here,” she uttered. And I was pretty sure she was already falling asleep in my arms.
I abandoned my bag and shoes in the hall where I had taken them off, and carried her to the living room. I hit the switch on the fancy electric fire and grabbed a couple of blankets from the designer looking pile that always sat in a basket beside it. Once I had us both settled, me sat in the corner of the sofa with Cara laid across me, her head seeming to find just the right spot as she nuzzled against my shoulder, I wrapped the blankets over us, then enfolded my arms around her again. She let out a deep, contended sounding sigh, then she seemed to completely melt against me, finally out cold.
