I took my son home and gave him a warm bath and some melatonin, then I put him to bed. I sat in the rocking chair in his room that I kept beside his bed, and I just stared at him while he slept. I replayed the entire day in my head.
The one mistake I made was bringing my brother. Had I gone alone, none of this would have happened. If I wanted to take shit a little deeper, this whole war had started with Keith and me. There were so many ways this shit could have been avoided, but when it came down to it, I was really the person to blame. As much as I wanted that nigga Black dead, I knew it was all my fault. It was my fault for whooping those corner boys, then letting them live after Keith pistol whipped one of them, and I was damn wrong for bringing Jashawn with me tonight.
I woke up the next afternoon to JJ climbing into the chair with me. His room was now a complete mess, and he was smiling in my face like he hadn’t destroyed the place.
“Daddy a sleepy head?” JJ joked.
“Yes, son. Daddy had a long day. You good? You wanna eat?” I asked as I stood from the chair with him on my chest.
We went into the bathroom and brushed our teeth, then washed our faces. I changed his clothes and got him dressed for the day. We went into the kitchen, and I placed him in his high chair while I cooked us breakfast. I made small talk with my son to see if anything was different about him. He was still his normal, bubbly self. He was acting as if he didn’t remember what happened with his mom last night, and I was thankful for that. I examined him while I bathed him last night, and he looked to be unharmed. I was a ball of nerves at that point. Not knowing how things were going to turn out had me stressed. As much as I wanted revenge for my son getting snatched, I really couldn’t afford for shit to get worse. Worrying about Diamond would also have me not thinking clearly enough to plan and execute a hit on those niggas. I just really felt defeated.
After breakfast, I let JJ go into his room to play while I made my phone calls. I called Eva twice and got no answer, so I called Taylor. I was getting pissed off that no one thought to call and give me an update. Although Diamond worked my nerves, she was the mother of my son, and she didn’t deserve to die. She was crazy and obsessed, but deep down, I knew it was only because she really loved me. I just didn’t feel the same for her.
“Don’t call my phone, nigga! I know you’re the reason that shit happened to my sister!” Taylor barked as soon as she answered the phone.
“Taylor, please, bruh! Now is not the time. I’m just trying to see what’s up. I need an update on Diamond.”
“She’s still hanging on for the most part, but I’m so confused about how you were the one to take her to the hospital. Last I talked to her, she said she was taking a weekend trip with her new man. I didn’t hear shit else from her, but you magically found her shot up. The math ain’t mathin.”
“Like I said to your mom, she called and asked me to get JJ. When I got to her, she was all fucked up. It looked like she had been robbed and shit, so I rushed her to the hospital. I don’t know anything about a new nigga or her going on a trip,” I lied.
“The truth will always come out. I’ll have my mom keep you posted,” Taylor said before hanging up in my face.
I instantly regretted calling her. I felt worse than I did before I called, so I decided to wait for someone to call me instead of begging for information. I was gon’ chill in the house with my son until I knew something. Just to tie all loose ends, I called Jashawn and told him to come over. I needed to get my story together. I also knew the police would be looking for Diamond’s car as evidence, but I had no clue where it was.
A few hours later, I heard my brother pull up, and I had to convince myself to stay levelheaded. After what he’d done, I knew it would be hard.
“So, you need me again already? I thought I was dead to you?” Jashawn said as he came into my home.
“I ain’t say you was dead, but nigga, this is to save your ass! We need to get our story straight about Diamond. Detectives came to the hospital asking questions. I made up some shit, but we need to find her car. I told them I went to get JJ from her, but when I got there, she was shot and had been robbed,” I said, telling my brother the full lie I had told.
“That shit was smooth. You were quick on your feet with that one. As for the car situation, if she was with that nigga Black, he must have her car or did something with it. We need to get atthat nigga and get the car or find out where it is before the pigs do,” Jashawn advised.
“I don’t think you should be getting at Black about anything. Just make sure if the detectives hit you up, you tell them you were riding with me to pick up JJ, and that’s how we found Diamond. You rushed us to the hospital, then you went home. I will put one of our men on the Black situation, so we can get Diamond's car,” I told my brother.
Just as I finished running everything down to him, there was a knock on my door. Jashawn asked if I was expecting anyone while he gripped the gun on his waist. I told him that I wasn’t expecting company and put up one finger, signaling him to chill for a second. As I looked through the peephole, I noticed that it was the detectives from last night. I hadn’t given them my address or any personal information, so now I was pissed off. I mouthed to my brother, letting him know it was the detectives. He covered his gun back up with his shirt and stood in front of the sofa with his arms crossed. I threw the front door open with a scowl on my face to let them know they were not welcome.
“Mr. Jones, may we come in? It’s very important!” Myers stated.
“Not as important as me knowing how in the fuck y’all know where I live and why you would pop up unannounced to my crib,” I barked.
“It’s about Diamond. We got your information from the family. May we come in?” Lee asked.
I allowed them to come inside, introduced them to Jashawn, then offered them a seat. JJ was in his room playing, so I closed his room door before taking a seat across from the detectives and beside my brother. I was nervous as hell—sweat beads were forming on my forehead.
“What’s up? Is everything okay with Diamond?” I nervously asked.
“We’re sorry to inform you, but Diamond passed away a little over an hour ago. We’re ruling it as a homicide based on the information you’ve given us. We will also have an autopsy done and follow up with any leads and possible witnesses, including your brother here. I know that now is not a good time, but the sooner we gather all the facts, the better. We need to get the person responsible for doing this to your son’s mom, Jakari. We are very sorry for your loss,” Detective Lee said.
“No, no, no, this can’t be right. She’s dead? Nah, you have to have it wrong, man. I have a baby who needs his momma. She can’t be dead,” I said in disbelief.
I sat frozen in my seat as tears fell from my eyes. My brother grabbed me into a hug as he patted my back in an attempt to comfort me. I shook him off me because he was responsible for this shit. What the fuck was I gonna do now? I never wanted my son to lose his mother; I just wanted her to get her act together. I felt like I was in a bad ass dream, and I couldn’t wake up. I used my shirt to wipe my face, but that didn’t stop the tears from falling. Diamond had been a constant in my life, and now I didn’t know what I would do without her. She was a crazy ass bitch but a good ass mother. My son didn’t deserve to lose his momma; he was just a baby. I was just lost and at a loss for words. Yes, I hated her ass at times. But, I never wanted shit to end like this.
“I’m sorry to have to break this news to you guys. If you know anything that may help, or if you think of anything you forgot to tell us, please give us a call. Jashawn, here is my card. Call me or come to the station to give your statement at your earliest convenience,” Myers said as he gave my brother a card.
Both detectives gave me a pat on the back before letting themselves out. I went into the bathroom and threw water on my face, but that didn’t stop me from having a breakdown. I slid down my bathroom wall as I let out a scream that even I didn’t recognize. The tugging in my chest was so intense that it felt likea heart attack. This shit was all my fault, and I just wanted to lay down and die myself.
“Nigga, you better get your shit together! If I go down for this shit, so will you. JJ will be a fuckin’ orphan, and I know you don’t want that. This shit is all part of the game that you want to play! Sometimes innocent people get hurt, but that just comes with this shit! You can’t be no bitch now, boy. Get yo’ shit together,” Jashawn said as he stood in the doorway of my bathroom.
