“You killed my baby momma, and now you standing in my house, giving me commands. You can’t be serious. It’s like you don’t understand that because of you, Diamond is gone forever! You left my son out here without his momma, and you standing there telling me how to feel!” I yelled as I stood and faced my brother.
“Nigga, you came begging me for help! I had washed my hands of that street shit! You needed me, and as your big brother, I showed up for you. This shit with Diamond was an accident that I can’t take back, my nigga. We gotta focus on moving forward and how to get this shit off our hands. I need you to have a clear head because if you put my freedom on the line, I don’t care who pussy you came from. I will murk yo’ ass without hesitation,” Jashawn spoke through clenched teeth.
“Get out of my house, bro. It’s nothing left to be said. You know what it is with me, and you gotta know that this shit will be dealt with accordingly,” I threatened.
“Do what you must, but you heard what the fuck I said. I’ll forget that we’re blood. Please don’t take it there. You know what I’m capable of!” Jashawn barked.
No more words were spoken. Jashawn knew to leave my house at that moment. I was done with that nigga. Jashawn apologized, but I knew my brother, and I knew that he wasn’t at all remorseful. He was right about taking losses being part of the game, but I no longer wanted to play this game, and I was aboutto be out. I looked at myself in the mirror before pouring more water on my face. I was in complete shock.
“Fuckkkkkk!” I screamed.
“Dadddyyy! You okay?” my baby boy asked as he ran down the hall and into my bathroom.
I tried to gather myself before he made it into the bathroom, but I was too late. He ran in with his brows raised at the sight of me. As soon as I looked into his little face, I broke down again. I grabbed him into a big hug as I lifted him off the ground. Hugging him tightly, I just prayed that I would be strong enough to get us through all of this. It was a messed up feeling to know you needed help but not have anyone to call. I wanted Harmoni to come to my rescue so badly, but I knew that would never happen. As messed up as it was, I really wanted to cry on Harmoni’s shoulder and for her to help me through all of this. In my mind, I wanted her to help me raise my son and to just be my backbone again.
I spent the day ignoring calls and soaking in my depression. I tried to act normal around my son, but for the most part, I was going through it bad. He constantly asked for his mom, and I didn’t know what to tell him. Their bond was so strong that my heart ached to think of him losing her. I meal prepped our food for the next few days while I still had the strength to do so, then I cleaned my house from top to bottom in an attempt to stay busy and keep my mind off reality.
Before I knew it, two days had passed, and we hadn’t left the house at all. I felt like an awful father. I always made sure JJ had a great time with me, but I wasn’t in the right headspace. My phone had been dead for days, and I didn’t care to charge it. There was nobody I needed to talk to. My brother was responsible for this shit, and any other family I had left was written off long ago.
It was now a little after 3:00pm, and there was someone knocking at my door. As I slid out of bed, I looked around at the mess I had allowed my son to make, and I just shook my head. I stepped over his toys and went to answer the door. When I looked through my peephole, I noticed that it was my old friend Wesley and his Auntie Eva, which was Diamond’s mom.
“Hey, y’all. Excuse the mess. What’s up, Wesley?” I said as I let them inside and hugged my boy.
“You not looking too good, my boy. I’m sorry this shit happened,” Wesley said as he took a seat.
Eva walked through my house like she paid bills, not even having the decency to speak. She yelled JJ’s name until he came running out of my bedroom and jumped into her arms. She then went into his bedroom and started rummaging through drawers. I could tell she was packing his bag, and I couldn’t argue with her. I needed a break. I was in no condition to look after him right now; I barely wanted to wash my own ass. The guilt of the entire situation was killing me.
“I’m not doing good at all, bro. This shit is so unreal. I need to get myself together before the funeral. I got to.”
“Nobody told you? She didn’t have insurance, so we’re gonna just have a memorial service for her and get her cremated,” Wesley stated.
“Man, hell nah! I got the bread! I’m not about to let my baby momma go out like that. How much is it? I can pay for a proper burial,” I insisted as I stood from my seat.
“Listen, man, ain’t nobody finna take your money. To be honest, the family is looking at you sideways right now. They say your story not adding up and that she had been in a lot of shit behind you lately. You know I stay out that shit, but I don’t even think you welcome at the memorial.”
“That’s dumb as hell! I don’t give a fuck what the family thinks. I was the only person looking out for Diamond and making sure she was straight!” I barked.
“Jakari, I’m taking JJ with me until everything is over. I’m going to let the detectives do their job, but I want you to know that I don’t trust or believe shit you say. My baby trusted you, but you didn’t protect her. We don’t want a fucking dime of your drug money! If Diamond was really robbed, she was only targeted because of you! They must have thought she had some of that drug money when in actuality, you were only giving her crumbs. Her arrangements are already in place. The truth will come to light, and in the meantime, I’m gonna have my grandson,” Eva spoke.
“Ms. Eva, please get the fuck out of my house. Legally, you have no rights to my son, but being that you are suffering a great loss, I will allow you to spend time with him. I will tell you when he comes home and not the other way around. This is now his home. I’ve broken my back for this leaching ass family! What happened was very unfortunate, and I’m very hurt and fucked up behind it, but you are not about to play with me, especially about my son!”
I politely checked Diamond’s mom and dared my childhood best friend to intervene. I was in no mood for disrespect. Now, it was time for them to get the fuck on. If I wasn’t welcome at the memorial, cool. I didn’t want to be anywhere I wasn’t wanted. I just would have rather her go out in style, but I wouldn’t beg these muthafukas to take my money. Fuck ’em.
I hugged and kissed my son before watching him leave to go with his people. I wanted to be there to hold his hand through this storm, but I could only hope his grandma did her job to protect and comfort him. It’s crazy how all of a sudden, my drug money wasn’t shit, but Eva always had her hand out, begging for it any other time.
We were at Harmoni’s appointment, and I was nervous as hell. The last two appointments were just regular checkups, but today she was getting an ultrasound, and this was the first one I would get to witness. Her ass had started getting big out of nowhere, so I knew this was gonna be a big baby.
I couldn’t lie like I wasn’t nervous about finding out who was the biological father. I was there for the long run, regardless, but a nigga just really wanted this baby to be mine. The money that I took from J was put up for my baby’s future, and I would continue to add to it. It was never about the money when I kidnapped his baby momma and his son; it was strictly about the principle. I definitely didn’t need his bread, but I was gon’ put it to good use.
As I listened to the baby’s heartbeat, something came over me. I couldn’t explain the feeling, but it was like he was letting me know he was mine. A heart that strong could only come from my bloodline. I smiled as I held my girl’s hand and looked at our little man on the screen. Harmoni was squeezing my hand tight as hell. I knew she was nervous too, but after seeing him today, I knew in my heart that I didn’t have shit to worry about. After her appointment was over, I took her to Chipotle for lunch. She smashed that food like she was scared that I was gonna ask for some. I couldn’t do shit but shake my head.
After we left Chipotle, I hit a couple of blocks, then we pulled up to her new favorite spot. She was scrolling on her phone, so she didn’t even notice that I had stopped driving. When she looked up, she instantly perked up and started doing her happy dance in her seat because we were outside of Crumbl Cookie.
“You love me for real! Thank you, baby!” Moni said as she leaned over and kissed me.
“You know that I do, fat momma,” I joked.
Moni pulled back and instantly frowned.
