Chapter Thirteen
BRISTOL
“I’m leaving you. Blake, I can’t marry you.” I shake my head, my reflection blurring in the condensation stuck to the bathroom mirror. “Ugh. Just say the words, Bristol!” I clear my voice, bracing my hands on either side of the porcelain sink and looking at the distorted version of myself peering back at me. “Blake, I?—”
Heavy footfalls stomp up the stairs, the hair on my arms rising to attention, goosebumps breaking out over my skin. Not the good kind. The kind that serves as a warning, the body’s alarm system triggering and sending out a subtle alert to be on guard. And on guard I am. Every moment I’m in this loveless house with a man who can’t possibly even like me.
The last week with Blake has been turbulent at best. I’ve done my best to work as much as possible, but the moments we are both home are charged with something I can’t quite place. I don’t know if it’s stress, or he’s feeding into this new life he’s building, this new persona that I’m unsure is truly new at all, or just something I’ve been blind to. Whatever it is, I’m donedealing with it. I’m done tiptoeing around in my own home. I’m done being ignored, being talked down to, and having someone else make decisions for me that I wouldn’t make for myself. Of course there are always compromises to be made, and I’m happy to make them when needed, but my feelings do matter, my comfort matters, and to have no regard for me in any aspect is not something I’m willing to put up with any longer.
It’s evident we ended up having two very different expectations of what happiness means and what a relationship should feel like. I’m done wasting my time making excuses for his behavior. I used to justify Blake’s constant need for control as him needing to feel in charge of his life when his career goals were out of his hands. But now I see it for what it is. It’s just his need for control. Period.
The control, the insults, the lack of attention, the disregard for my comfort, the disrespect. I’m over it. Better exists, and even if it doesn’t, I’d rather be alone than spend the rest of my life with someone like Blake.
The door to the bathroom cracks open, and I instinctively grip the towel wrapped around my body, my arms crossing over my chest as Blake appears in the entryway.
“There you are. Just now getting out of the shower?” he says, his lips turned up in a smirk that’s meant to be sexy but only makes my body instinctively recoil. A memory of the last time he touched me rolls through my mind, my stomach bottoming out.
He leans casually against the doorframe, his forearm braced against the wood, the picture of calm, cool, and collected.While I stand here with my heart in my throat and nerves pulsing through my veins.
“I don’t have to be at work until nine, so I’ve been taking my time. It feels good to have a slow morning for a change.”
“Well, with the amount of steam in here, you’d think you turned it into your own personal sauna, maybe not so hot next time? Hot water isn’t good for your skin.”
“I do know that, Blake, with my medical degree and all. I just choose to ignore it because the hot water is also soothing.”
Blake looks at me for a moment, his light-blue eyes dancing with amusement and disgust—a combination he’s recently perfected. “Yes, the medical degree you waste to take care of animals.”
Waste.
“That is what a veterinarian does, Blake, you are correct,” I quip with a little more sass than necessary. Blake’s head tilts to the side, almost surprised that I spoke back, his arm falling from the doorframe to his side as he stands to his full height. It’s no secret that he looks down on my chosen profession, and I was stupid to think otherwise. My career is something I’m not willing to give up for anyone.
“I’ll be home in time for dinner. What are we having?”
Another thing I’ve come to hate: his assumption that because I’m a woman, I should be in the kitchen making dinner for us each night, when we both have full-time careers, and it’s something we could take turns with, or hell, here’s a novel idea—we cook together!
“I don’t know, Blake. I’ll be at the clinic today until six.”
“Jesus. When are you gonna quit that job, Bristol? There’s no need for you to work anymore, and you come home every day reeking of wet dogs. It’s disgusting.” My body wants to recoil from his words, but I stand strong, letting a veil of armor protect me. The days of wanting his support have sailed away.
“You know I love what I do, that isn’t ever going to change. I’m always going to want to work, and I’m always going to want to take care of animals. That isn’t changing, now or ever,” I bite back.
Blake takes a large step forward into the bathroom, his hand lifting, fingertips gently gliding down the side of my face until they reach my chin, gripping it tightly between his pointer and thumb.
“Someday, Bristol, someday you’re going to realize your place is right next to me while I build this empire, looking beautiful on my arm, growing our babies in your stomach, waiting for me when I get home with a million-dollar smile on your pretty face. You can work for now, but don’t forget for a moment that I’m the reason you’re able to have your little shelter to begin with. The moment I say so, all that money will stop, and you’ll be left without a job. Then you’ll finally be home where you should be.” A deep, visceral reaction rises in me, and I have to forcibly push down the bile that wants to claw its way out of my body. “You have no idea the lengths I’ve gone to ensure we have a solid future. You’re going to be so happy.”
With a quick, chaste kiss to my lips, Blake is turning and walking out of the bathroom, leaving me reeling with disgust and self-loathing. I stand there like a fool, listening to his footsteps retreat down the stairs until the front door shuts behind him.
The floor tilts beneath my feet, my stomach bottoming out, my heart rate finally ratcheting up. I can actually feel the bile rising, hot and metallic, coating the back of my throat like sludge. I need to get out of this relationship, and I need to do it soon. But first, I need to find funding for the shelter that doesn’t rely on him and his company.
Shame washes over me in an inky caress as tears prick my eyes. I’m so stupid. How could I ever believe that his securing funding for the place I love most in the world was his way of supporting me? It was just one more thing for Blake to control. And now I’m fucked. I have to leave him, but I can’t lose the shelter. I can’t let all of the animals that rely on it for refuge and care be cast aside like they don’t matter.
Blake’s sports car’s engine revs loudly from outside my second-story bedroom window. I walk over to it, padding across the plush rug that lies across the master bedroom floor. I watch as he shifts the bright red Bentley into gear and backs out of the driveway and speeds off, just as my phone starts blaring out my best friend’s ringtone. Picking it up off the bedside table, I flop back onto the bed, holding the phone out in front of me to greet her, careful not to let my towel drop.
“Good morning, sunshine,” I tell her, doing my best to mask my mood, even though I feel like I could puke up my coffee at any moment.
“I’d say the same to you, but you looked like someone kicked you while you were down.”
“Ouch.” I wince. I should have known Kira would read right past my attempt at hiding my real emotions.
