‘Yes. It is a job that is demanding and keeps the mind working. I feel I am helping to smooth things until Germany grows stronger.’
But I would be happy to leave it to be with you.Elsa waited in the silence that followed her answer.
‘I have a friend in England. His wife is German.’
Her heart began to race. So it was possible!
‘She found it difficult to live in England. There was a language barrier—?’
I speak English.
‘She misses her family and friends.’
I have no one to miss... except you.
‘And some people find it hard to forgive. She found it difficult... particularly when she first came to England.’
There it was... the beginnings of his goodbye. Elsa arched her neck to look up at him. He looked no different to moments ago when he was nuzzling her neck and telling her he loved her, but this time he was paving the way for his reasons not to ask her to go with him. Suddenly her skin prickled and she wanted to putdistance between them... yet her limbs felt heavy and she was unable to move.
‘I think it has put a strain on their marriage at times, but they love each other and they face the problems together. They have one child and another on the way, so it is a stressful time anyway. Where are you going?’
Elsa had finally managed to move and slid to the side of the bed to retrieve her clothes, suddenly feeling ashamed of her nakedness and what she had done. She snatched at her undergarments and stockings and started to dress. Sam sat up in bed. ‘Elsa?’
‘I have to go. I’ve just remembered, I need to be somewhere.’ It was true, she did, although she had plenty of time. However, it gave the ring of finality to her words, which he could not dispute. He got out of bed and began dressing too.
‘I’ll come with you.’
‘No!’ The suggestion terrified her. If he found out where she was going and asked her to return to England with him, she would never know if it was out of obligation or love. Yet... as the thought raced through her mind, another voice in her head screamed,Does it really matter?
She shook her head to clear her mind. ‘Can we talk about this another time? I have to go.’
He grew suspicious. ‘You are meeting someone. Does this person share your bed?’
Yes.
‘You sound jealous.’
‘I can’t help how I feel about you. Is this person special to you?’
Very special.
‘Yes, but it’s not what you think.’
She thought he’d followed her to the door, but when she stepped outside into the hall and turned to face him, he hadhung back. He stood silently looking at her in the centre of the small room with his head tilted to one side. He almost filled it with his presence, his body tall and strong, yet his expression ultimately perplexed. In his hand was a child’s small shoe.
‘Is the father of this little girl still in your life?’ he asked. ‘This shoe can’t be Miriam’s. She must be eleven by now.’
Her mouth grew dry. ‘She’s just turned twelve. No, it’s not Miriam’s.’
Sam filled the silence. ‘I found it under the bed. I wrongly assumed a double bed would be for a couple. I didn’t think it was for a mother and child to share.’ He carefully placed the shoe on the chair. ‘How old is she?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘It wouldn’t change the reason why I came looking for you, Elsa,’ he said, not unkindly. ‘Is she mine?’ He shook his head as if to shake the question away. ‘It doesn’t matter if she’s mine or not. But it would matter if you are still with her father.’
‘I’m not married and I’m not seeing anyone.’
‘Is she mine?’
