‘Yes, Sam, she is yours.’
Elsa reached into her handbag and handed him a photograph. Shock reduced his voice to a whisper as he stared at the little girl. ‘What is she called?’
‘Christine.’
She stood beside him and watched as his fingers tentatively touched the girl’s soft dark curls. ‘She has my hair colour. And your curls.’ His finger touched her face. ‘She’s beautiful. And she looks so happy.’
‘Miriam was making her laugh when I took the picture.’
‘They get on well?’
‘They adore each other.’
He looked up at her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you use your work contacts to find me?’
‘Because at first it was too close to the end of the war. I didn’t want you to get into trouble for fraternizing with the enemy. Christine would be used as evidence against you.’
‘The army has no say over me now,’ he said quietly. ‘It must have been so hard for you.’
‘I had help when I was in Bremen. A neighbour of my aunt’s was a great help when she was small. I could not have coped without her. As time went on I was afraid you had built a new life without me as I had done without you. I didn’t want to put pressure on you. I didn’t want you to ask me to marry you out of obligation. I did not want you to suffer as I was suffering. At least I could move cities and pretend to be a widow. If you were able to bring us to England, you could not hide the fact that your wife was German and your daughter was half-German. She has not felt that stigma here. I’ve told people my husband was German.’
‘Is that why you chose Christine as a name? A name that could pass as English and German? You still hoped there was a possibility that I’d return and ask you to marry me, didn’t you?’
She nodded, but added, ‘You must not feel obligated to care for us. I can care for her myself. I have a good job, a friendly neighbour who cares for her after school if I am still working. We have a roof over our heads. She is happy. They both are.’
‘But are you?’
‘I don’t matter. It is their happiness that matters.’
‘And her father? Does his happiness count for anything?’
‘His happiness means everything to me. Which is why I don’t want him to feel obligated. Which is why I did not tell him straight away.’
‘Bringing up his own daughter and watching her grow is not an obligation. It would be a privilege.’ Somehow it felt easier to talk this way... as if a little distance between them took the emotion away. ‘You could always leave Germany and live with her father. That is, if you loved him enough. Do you?’
‘I love him enough. But I don’t know what he thinks.’
‘Has he ever searched for you?’
She looked at the man standing in her home. ‘Yes.’
‘Did he find you?’
She felt him take her hand in his. ‘Yes.’
‘Did he just spend the last hour making love to you and wishing it could never end?’
‘I don’t know what he wishes.’
‘Fortunately—’ he smiled — ‘I do.’
He touched his forehead to hers and they looked at their entwined fingers sandwiched between them.
‘But you said living in England would be difficult for me.’
‘No, I said living in England might be difficult sometimes. I wanted you to understand what it might be like for you, but I think we can work it out together. Ben’s wife, Helene, will help you. She is a good woman and wants to be your friend. Will you come back with me to England?’
‘All of us?’
