I put the car into first gear and pulled away from the house I’d called home for the previous two years.
In the rear-view mirror, I saw Rob at the green rusty gate, gazing at the house solemnly, his suitcase with the last of his belongings at his feet. It was surreal. The end of an era. That red brick terrace had seen the worst of us over the last couple of months.
John was relieved I was out of the house; worried things would get ugly. They wouldn’t have, not physically anyway. Rob wasn’t like that. I couldn’t blame him for being furious with me. At least if I left, he could begin his new chapter as well.
It seems so odd that you spend years of your life with someone, then all of a sudden, it does a full one-eighty tonothing. When it’s over, it’s over. I told Rob if he ever needed anything, I would try my best to help. I wanted things to be as amicable as possible, grateful it was quick and that we hadn’t been tied to a mortgage.
After handing back the keys to the landlord, that was pretty much it. All the worrying, all the wondering, all the work it had taken me to break free, and now I was.
The sadness I’d harboured in the first couple of weeks had disappeared. The guilt remained, I was sorry Rob was unhappy, but in myself I was surprisingly fine for a woman that had just left her husband.
As I drove across town to my new short-term home, the hands-free rang, penetrating the silence. I pushed the green phone on the steering wheel to answer.
‘Hello?’
‘How did it go?’ John’s Irish lilt deliciously reverberated around the inside of my car.
‘It’s done, anyway. The end of an era. I won’t know what to do with myself when it finally sinks in. I’m in shock that I managed to work through it, but we got there in the end.’
‘It’s been a tough few months, girl. Change is always hard. And you’ve got a big heart. I know you hated doing what you did.’ The affection in his tone made my heart swell.
‘Now, just don’t go too wild with your new-found sense of freedom.’
It was intended as a joke, but I detected an undercurrent of insecurity in his voice. He’d commented before, that when I managed to leave, I might want to spread my wings a bit. It was something that secretly worried him.
‘Don’t be daft,’ I reassured him. ‘There’s only one man I want to spread my wings with, and I’m almost there. I’ve crashed cars thinking about you,’ I reminded him.
‘Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that.’ He was openly relieved. ‘I’ve been getting such a slagging from the lads lately. They’re practically holding a funeral, grieving my single days as though I’m written off already, but honestly Lucy I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I haven’t looked at another woman since I met you.’
Well, that was music to my ears. I hadn’t wanted to put any pressure on him, hadn’t wanted him to feel weighted that I’d left my husband for him, to be overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation.
He’d played a huge role in me leaving, but I said from the very beginning that even if it never worked out with John, if I never laid eyes on him again, he had opened my eyes to what it could and should be like to be in love.
‘So, is it too soon to tell you I bought you a present?’ he said optimistically.
‘If it’s an engagement ring, you can keep hold of it for a bit longer, I’m not quite ready for that yet!’ I teased, spluttering out a laugh in the process.
The tan mark was still very visible on my left hand at the ring finger, a permanent reminder of my recently updated status. I winced each time I caught sight of it and prayed for continuous good weather.
‘It’s a flight to come here, next weekend,’ he said.
‘Ah.’ He didn’t waste any time.
‘I know you said you wanted to wait until the house was gone, and now it is, I didn’t want you to have any time to make up another excuse.’
I didn’t answer immediately, turning it over in my head. I’d wanted the rented house in Winchester completely emptied and to draw a line under everything formally before I embarked on something new. Now it was.
The Decree Nisi had been approved, it was only another six weeks before we could apply for the Decree Absolute.
He took my hesitation as a negative. ‘Oh Jesus, Lucy, I’m sorry. Was I out of order? I wanted to do something nice for you. And I’m desperate to see you. But look if it’s too soon you don’t have to use it.’
I considered it for a few seconds. ‘Ok.’
‘Ok? As in ok, you’re coming?’ he reiterated.
‘Yes. I’m coming,’ I confirmed before I could over-think it. ‘I suppose it’s about time I saw those girls of yours for myself.’ I referred to the cattle that he spoke of so affectionately.
‘Well, they are dying to see you. And so am I.’
