Without addressing what Ben was saying, Ella cut in and said, “Well, good for us, we don’t need a solution, so let’s just forget about all of that.”
Ben wasn’t ready to do that.Instead, he said, “I agree, but what if something like this happens again?We need to talk about it now, so we are better able to address it in the future.”
“That is never going to happen.I have a doctor’s appointment to get an IUD.We have one more weekend together before that.I am going to get some sponges before I come.We will use them both.We will never have to have this conversation again.”
“I don’t mean the pregnancy scare conversation.I mean the part about where you froze me out.Refusing to take my calls.Basically ignoring me.”
Getting defensive, Ella said, “I never refused to take your calls.I texted you every day.”She caught herself before adding, “And stop being such a baby.”She knew that would not go down well or be very nice.It was true that she had ignored him, but she did not want to talk about that.She was not looking for a fight.She just wanted to talk to him and enjoy their time together without a big to-do.
“Okay, I will let it drop this time.But, the next time I go three days without hearing your voice because you are dodging my calls and only texting me, I am driving up there and demanding to know why.Remember, we talked about this on Saturday night.This is one of those parameters we talked about.My time spent talking with you is the best part of every day.I am not willing to give that up.If you are worried or upset, okay.I can handle that.Not talking to you, not knowing what you are thinking, I can’t.”
Ella was left speechless by Ben’s words.What he was asking was so foreign to her.She was not sure she could give him what he wanted.It was a big ask.She wanted to be all he needed.She desperately wanted to be his girlfriend and be open and honest with him about everything.But how did one learn to become something one had never been.Not sure how she should respond, she said, “Okay, I hear you.Now can we talk about something much more interesting?”
“Sure,” said Ben laughing.“What would you like to talk about?”
“Tell me how much you missed me.”
A roar of laughter boomed over the line, “That, my sweet Ella, I can do.”And that was exactly what Ben proceeded to do for the better part of the next two hours.
A couple of days before Ella was to meet Ben, she decided she was tired of borrowing Julia’s things.If this was going to be an ongoing thing, it was time she got her own lingerie.She and Julia spent a long day at the outlets, shopping for new clothes.Until now, Ella had lived in jeans, T-shirts, and sundresses.They were all church appropriate and did not make her feel sexy or grown-up.Given her new college graduate status, she wanted a more sophisticated look.While they were out, Ella also ran by the pharmacy.She told Julia she thought she would need some sponges because condoms alone were not enough protection as her research had proven.By the end of the day, Ella had purchased several new outfits, including two new lingerie sets, one in black and one in red, some new heels, and some toiletries for the weekend—all of which she stored at Julia’s until her trip on Friday.
________
San Luis Obispo, California
On Friday, Ella again hitched a ride from her friend she had been ride-sharing with for three years.He had elected to finish the class with the new instructor.She got to the hotel around 3:00 in the afternoon.Ben was not there yet, but he had again reserved a room.When he rolled in around 5:00, Ella met him at the door with a big, sloppy wet kiss.The rest of the afternoon was spent much like the previous one minus the shower issue.Ella felt better about having double protection.Both Friday and Saturday nights, Ben took Ella out for nice dinners.She enjoyed dressing up in her new sexy dresses and heels.She typically wore sandals and tennis shoes.Wearing the three- and four-inch wedges she bought to go with her new clothes gave her some much needed height and boosted her confidence.
Gone was the wall that had separated Ben and Ella the last time they had been here.The conversation never stopped, and Ella felt very secure in their relationship.On Sunday, when it was time to leave, Ella had to fight back tears.Leaving Ben felt like she was leaving a part of herself.Even though Ben assured her they would see each other in a few weeks, Ella could not help but feel a sense of foreboding as she rode away from him, thinking that the carefree days they had enjoyed were somehow coming to an end.
Chapter 10
Napa, California
For the first time in Ella’s life, she was bored.The two weeks since she had last seen Ben had dragged.Without the buffer of schoolwork, she had very little to occupy her mind.She continued to help at the diner, and she picked up some extra shifts at the Henley Winery.Every time she rode past the barn where she and Ben had made out, her heart bled.She found herself missing Ben more and more each day.Of course, they talked each night, but he was in the middle of midterms and was very distracted.Some days, Ella thought she would go mad missing him.Only knowing she would see him again soon kept her going.
To help pass the time, Ella decided to spend a few days at Julia’s house.It had been a couple of years since they had spent any real time together.Ella had enjoyed their shopping trip so much that she called and asked if she could come over one night and hang out.Ella found she loved staying on her cousin’s couch so much that a visit that started out as a one-night sleepover turned into a two-week mini-vaca with Ella still going to work every day, of course.
Julia had an eclectic group of friends.She dabbled in local theater, and most of her friends did as well.Ella quickly learned that theater folks were a brand unto themselves.Ella loved meeting them and learning about their lives.With them, no topic of conversion was off limits.They talked about everything from politics, which thanks to Ben, Ella now knew a lot more about, to the latest Hollywood gossip, which she knew nothing about.The most fun thing about being with them was how entertaining they were.At any given moment, someone might break out in a song-and-dance routine right in the middle of a store, a restaurant, or on the street.The world was their stage, and they were taking their fifteen minutes.One could not possibly be bored around them.
A new group of interesting friends was not the only advantage to staying with her cousin.The freedom that came from staying in her cousins’ apartment was amazing—no loud brothers, no bossy sisters, and no one expecteding her to help with dinner, laundry, or babysitting.Every night Ella went out with Julia and her friends.It was fun dressing up, staying out late, and not having to worry about school or parents.
Ben had been happy for Ella to have time with her cousin.He teasingly reminded her that she was his and not to let any other guy turn her head.She laughed.It was comical to her because most of Julia’s friends were gay.Also Ella wondered how Ben could think anybody could hold a candle to him.He was and would always be her redheaded stud of a hero.
The Wednesday before Ella was to meet Ben in San Luis for the third time, Ella had her first visit to a gynecologist.She arrived at the clinic thirty minutes early to do paperwork.She had not even thought about the fact she would need to provide proof of insurance or that her parents would be getting a statement from the insurance company.Making a mental note to be watching the mail in the coming weeks for that, Ella provided her dad’s insurance information but paid the deductible herself.
Because this was Ella’s first gyno visit, she was a little bit nervous and overwhelmed.She had to do all the normal things like pee in a cup and answer a ton of embarrassing questions.Ella knew it was silly to be wigged out about answering questions about her period and sex life.She was still having a hard time even believing shehada sex life.But she did, and if she wanted to keep having one, this was part of the process.As she was quickly learning, sex was a grown-up thing that required grown-up behavior.Her doctor was a beautiful young woman in her early thirties who was hugely pregnant.Ella’s first thought was once again relief that she wasnot.
“Hello, I am Dr.Karly Jones.”Shaking Ella’s hand, the doctor said, “I see this is your first gyno visit with us.”
Ella nodded and said, “Yes.”
“And you are requesting an IUD?Is that correct?”
Again Ella nodded and said, “Yes.”
“Okay, let me just take a minute to review your lab work, and we will get started.”The doctor sat down on the rolling stool and began flipping through Ella’s chart.After a moment, the doctor looked confused and asked, “How sure are you about the date of your last period?”
“Completely sure,” replied Ella.“I was freaking out because I was worried I might be pregnant.I was so relieved when I got my period that day is tattooed in my brain forever.”
