Einstein raised his tentacles, a good half of which were discolored stumps. “Offspring is necessary to protect the interest of Hidden ones. Offspring disrespected opportunities.”
Rick turned his attention away from Einstein and focused on James. “Einstein would use weapons on Max husband.”
James recoiled from Rick and poked several tentacles in Einstein's direction as he bellowed. “Max father is good outsider.”
“There is no good outsider. Only corruption and abomination,” Einstein said. “Einstein offspring is corruption. Offspring is program that failed to execute. Offspring is mechanism with misplaced lever.”
“Rick’s levers are all perfectly placed,” Max objected. “Kohei, James, we need to leave now. Einstein can’t be trusted, not with weapons and not with our children. Come on. Let’s go.”
“But he offers purchase of weapons,” James said. Kohei must have lost his temper because he darted forward and sent a half dozen tentacles to tangle with James’s, jerking him away from Einstein.
“Offspring may stay,” Rick said. “I do not limit educational films to topics of interest to genetic donor. I do not require skills possessed by genetic donor. I do not hide truths not believed by genetic donor. Offspring may stay and listen because I am significantly different than genetic donor.”
Under other circumstances, Max would have given him a fist bump for that speech.
“We need to go, kids. Your father is giving you a choice, but as your other father, I’m saying that I want all my kids in that car in the next thirty seconds. Don’t make me tell you again.”
Kohei pulled until his tentacles were straining, and James relented, allowing himself to be pulled away. “Max father is good outsider, not-outsider. Dee is acceptable outsider. Not all outsiders are equivalent badness,” he protested.
“We can debate it in the car,” Max said. Rick was puffed with anger and would probably lecture Max on the sanctity of choice when they got back to the ship, but that was fine as long as Max got his children away from this horror show of a psycho. Jamesmoved faster, and Kohei was right behind him, between Einstein and his brother.
Einstein jerked forward. “Leaving is illogical. I have resources greater than ship. You can study navigation here if you choose.”
“No.” Rick shouted. Max’s ears rang from the volume.
“Yes,” Einstein shouted back.
“I leave with offspring who choose to reject illogical abomination.” Rick turned and headed for the door, and Max ran to keep up with him. They double-backed through the fancy artwork and wide hallways until the exit was right in front of them. Behind, the children were muttering, but for the first time in their lives, they managed to speak softly. Max hoped Xander was explaining the truth so Rick wouldn’t have to.
Rick touched the security panel next to the door and glided forward, but he collided with the door when it didn’t open. His tentacles twitched in annoyance and he pressed one against the security pad again, but again the door didn’t open.
“Oh shit,” Max whispered. Before he could say anything, a heavy gate dropped down in the corridor, trapping them into a space the size of a large prison cell. Shit and fan had officially met.
Chapter Fifteen
Max woke with a gasp, flailing his arms as he struggled upright. At first, he didn't realize why he felt such blind panic. It was as if his brain was off-line and couldn't quite process memories. But once his eyes focused, he realized he was alone. That made him wake quickly.
The room was large, featuring amoeba shaped windows inset with stained-glass and a view of the rocky hills that they had driven through to get to this place through the clear glass parts of the design.
Max barely glanced at the view before he headed for the door. He braced himself for it to be locked. If he had ever taken it into his head to drug and kidnap someone, he would have locked the door. But maybe some of Rick's silliness was genetic because when Max jerked at it, the door opened so smoothly that Max nearly fell on his ass.
“I hope I am not the red shirt in this situation,” Max muttered to himself as he headed out into a hallway painted with brilliant jellyfish designs. A few of the creatures were even done in three dimensions with stringlike tentacles curling around the edges of irregularly arched doors, their bodies reaching out of the wall toward him as he walked down the corridor.
Max opened every door he came to, checking each one for any sign of either his family or Einstein. Technically, Einstein was his family, but Max had decided that he was disowning the evil old octopus. Max knew that some of the younger airmen loved to read Internet stories about monster in-laws. Theywould sometimes entertain each other with the worst of them and debate whether or not they thought the author was telling the truth. Max had dismissed most of these stories as little more than fantasy. He thought they were lonely people trying to get attention on the Internet by exaggerating how bad in-law relations could get. Max had changed his mind.
Apparently some people were, in fact, complete and total psychopaths. Not in the killing everyone way, but in the treating everyone like a stepping stone to get what they wanted way. And if the Hidden ones could be this crazy, Max was guessing that at least a few of those monster in-laws stories from Earth were probably true.
Maybe he shouldn't call Einstein “Einstein.” What was the name of that terrible mother-in-law on Bewitched? The one that always hated that Samantha had married a mortal instead of a warlock? She was always turning Darren into some creature or trying to get him killed. Yep, if Max could remember the character's name, he would totally rename Einstein. Hidden ones were hermaphroditic, so a girl name seemed as appropriate as a boy one. But “Einstein” failed to capture how truly crazy he was.
Max had opened a dozen doors before he headed downstairs cursing the Hidden one love of all things asymmetrical because it extended to staircases. Sorta staircases. They were sloped steps, as if some drunk architect couldn’t decide between stairs and ramps and decided to make something that was both. He had to watch his step to avoid tumbling the full-length of the stairs down to the first floor because his brain expected that every stair tread would be the same height, and that was not the case. And nothing was level.
The first floor was decorated even more ostentatiously. Instead of having murals painted on the walls, they appeared inset with burnished metals and rounded stones. Rick might likehis pretty murals, but he sure wouldn’t spend this kind of money on frickin’ walls. After they sold the navigation program, they could have purchased some truly hideous furniture that would have fit right into this jewel box of a house. Instead, Rick had purchased raw materials for the fabricators and upgraded ship systems and even purchased a huge library of informational texts that covered other planets. But he hadn’t shown any interest in a gold-plated designer toilet seat, and that seemed to be the level of taste Einstein was functioning on.
Max heard his family before he saw them. When he slid a top hinged door open, voices echoed down a hallway painted like a starry night sky with galaxies glowing like diamonds spilled across the wall.
“You must return. I have avoided other eyes so they see me in you. They must see me in you!” Einstein was bellowing, and Max eased around the curve of the wall to look into what might be either a living room or an art gallery with sculptures hanging from the ceiling. Einstein reached for Rick with a tentacle thick with pale, heavy ropes of scar tissue.
Kohei came spinning out of a corner, leaving his two younger brothers huddled near a painting of an alien whale. His momentum forced Einstein to retreat, and he trumpeted, “Do not be touching Rick father.”
