“He has no right to name that is not Einstein,” Einstein trumpeted back. Then he spun around and slid toward Max. “Mentally-defective outsider good only for carrying eggs,” Einstein blasted. Max was almost sure the asshole had called him a pussy. Well two could play that game.
“Morally defective insider good only for excreting bodily waste product,” Max snapped back.
Rick blew bubbles of amusement and Einstein’s few remaining tentacles curled at the tips. He had the same red markings as Rick, but he didn’t have the same tendency to gofull-on curly fries. Max stepped the rest of the way into the room. If they were going to have a family fight, he was part of this family.
Rick pushed Kohei to the side and moved toward Einstein. “You are bad egg layer. You are abomination egg layer,” Rick bellowed, his tentacles stiff with anger.
“I am the Hidden one of greatest renown. I am He-who-built-the-defense. I am He-who-heard-others.” Max could hear the hyphenation and arrogance in his self-given titles, and Max was reminded of He-who-could-not-be-named. The thought amused Max more than it should, especially given that Einstein had kidnapped them and locked them in his manor. Yep, bad associations with that.
Einstein continued. “I led the People who would have been blinded by outsiders who would steal each shadow. You are failed experiment.”
Max sucked in a startled breath. Sure he had problems with his parents, but they never would have said something like that.
“He is a wonderful father and mate and you are a narcissistic jackass who deserves to be forgotten,” Max countered
“I am Einstein. Even idiot egg-carrier calls me genius.”
Xander came flying out of the corner. “You have no understanding of sarcasm. We call name to say you are smart, not-smart, and more not-smart because you are thinking you have more smart than you possess!” Xander said. “Sarcasm!”
Rick curled a tentacle around Xander, pulling him close, and Max moved to his husband’s side. “Exactly,” Max said. “An Einstein thinks he’s smart while doing exceptionally stupid shit, so the name fits.”
Now Einstein’s tentacles curled. Rick must have sensed the weakness because he jumped in with, “Egg-layer is not worth air to form words. He is not finger-licking good. He is nose-curling disgusting, and I do not even have curling nose.”
Kohei slid between them, his largest eye swiveling from Einstein to Rick, back and forth like a tennis match someone had put on double speed.
“Can we focus on leaving?” Max asked. “I would like to go back to the ship. Dee is probably wondering where we are.” Depending on how long Max had been unconscious, she might be very worried. Max had no idea whether he’d been out for an hour or a whole day.
Einstein bellowed, but the translator failed to make any sense out of it.
Max turned to Rick, but he was retreating, his tentacles curling in misery. Max chased him, catching a waving tentacle and holding on tightly. Rick stopped retreating, his tentacle tip curling around Max’s wrist. “Together,” Max whispered, and some of the curl in Rick’s tentacles relaxed.
Rick stood a little taller and yelled at his father, “I am abomination hatched from abomination egg spawned by an abomination egg-layer.” The volume was enough to make Max wince, but he held on so Rick couldn’t flee. “But you chose abomination. You decided to be abomination. I never chose.”
James had shrunk down into a little ball and Xander was stiff with anger, but Kohei was the one who glided in tight circles, his tentacles twitching in ways that looked uncomfortable. Max dearly wished his children were not in the middle of this Jerry Springer moment.
“I chose to continue greatness needed by great Hidden one world,” Einstein argued.
“You chose educational videos of what you knew. You chose your own seed. You chose to direct where I swam.” Rick shared his parental trauma with every trumpet. Max had become a connoisseur of belches and blasts, and this one sounded beyond upset. Max’s heart ached for his partner. “But I chose to leave. I chose tangle partners for seed for my offspring. I chose a matefrom Unbalanced ones with beautiful asymmetrical intestines. I chose non-abomination.”
Kohei grew taller and thinner as his tentacles stiffened with fury.
“Hidden ones require brilliance of Hidden one of greatest renown. Accident would steal my brilliance from my people and leave them vulnerable to universe of outsiders. I found solution. I always find solution.” Einstein was not backing down.
Something in what Einstein said triggered Rick’s anger; he surged forward, growing taller every second. “Hidden ones will find other brilliant solutions. You are not only Hidden one. You are not only smart Hidden one. You are most with arrogance Hidden one. You are most with bad parenting Hidden one. I am not you. You did not find mate. You do not have children who choose to swim near you.”
“I created you to finish my work,” Einstein bellowed.
“I will cut off all my tentacles before I will do any work of yours.” The volume of Rick’s words made the windows rattle.
“Choice is not yours. You will finish important work for Hidden one people. Offspring of us will sign away future profits against keeping secrets. Hidden ones will be defended from outsiders.”
Max hated that he didn’t hear any spot for himself in this incredibly narcissistic plan of Einstein’s. Endora. That was the crazy mother-in-law. When they got back to the ship, Max was reprogramming the translation computer to use “Endora” as this asswipe’s official name.
“I will not. I will return to ship. I will fly to Earth for Dee. I will meet parents of kindness who raised Max husband.”
Einstein bugled out another untranslated... something... that made Rick flinch back. Kohei surged forward. “You will cause no harm.”
“I am owner of this house. I set rules.”
