The paths wound through topiaries and arches and statues in a dozen different colors. Max suspected that even in Hidden one terms, this place was ostentatious. But Rick seemed to know every bend and turn as he led them past doors and arches and through hedges until Max caught him outside a large door with a familiar security access panel next to it and no doorknob or external latch or manual alert button. This was not an entrance intended for anyone other than Einstein.
“I have many words I would use to describe the parent of my parent,” Xander said in a rather subdued tone from his spot right behind Max.
“Clarify. Grandparent,” Max said.
“Reject clarification,” Xander said. “Parent of my parent has not earned title associated with the baking of cookies and teaching to ensnare fish using primitive bent metal and string and pole.”
“Fair enough,” Max said. His own grandparents had never been the cookies and fishing sort, but they were kind. Usually. And they never would have inflicted this sort of emotional trauma on their children or grandchildren. Max could understand why Xander would refuse to use the term grandfather for this asshole. Rick was still staring at the door without moving to open it.
“Remember,” Max said softly, “the asshole shares genetics with Rick Father. Do not accidentally insult him.”
Xander's tentacles curled. “Never,” he said with great passion. Rick ignored them.
“Rick?” Max asked.
Rick moved his tentacle to the lock, allowing the computer to sample his skin cells. The door clicked and swung open. Either Einstein was particularly dim and hadn't closed this security loophole, or Hidden ones were so reliant on their genetic locks that there was no way to rekey the locks. If that was the case,then Einstein was truly stupid for making it so easy to steal from him.
Rick moved into the house, and Max followed. The same ostentatious theme continued inside with tall pillar aquariums like in the government building where they had the ball and far, far too many statues in deeply colored stone. Xander pressed so close that Max tripped over a tentacle twice, but then they moved into a huge open hall, and Max heard voices.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” came the excited chatter of James. Rick moved faster, and Max trotted to stay at his side. He did stumble when he saw who his children were talking to. He expected a Hidden one that resembled Rick, only older and heavier with thicker tentacles. Instead James and Kohei stood in front of a horror of a Hidden one. Half the familiar red tipped tentacles that Max knew so well were gone, leaving stubs and mangled bits. The eyes pointed in their direction, including the largest eye, were gray and dim, and two had long slashes through them with thick scars.
Max’s stomach roiled, and Xander froze before his tentacles curled into tight balls.
“I make many weapons. Many, many,” James was saying. He trumpeted and rotated so his largest eye turned toward Max and Rick. “Max Father, Rick Father, I have offer for much purchasing.”
Kohei didn’t speak, but his tentacles hovered inches away from his brother, and something in his posture made Max think he was ready to pull James away from this horror show of a Hidden one. Max had seen a lot of veterans with limbs or even faces blown off, but he’d never had such a visceral reaction to seeing a severe physical disability.
Einstein rotated slowly, his undamaged eyes swinging around until Rick froze. It was as if his parent’s gaze trapped him. Max moved to his side, and Rick shuddered beforespeaking. “I come to inform James offspring and Kohei offspring that we will leave soon. They may return to ship or remain on planet of Hidden ones.”
What? Max’s mouth fell open. This was not the conversation Max had planned for them to have. “We are not leaving the children behind,” he objected.
Rick shrank an inch. “Offspring may choose their path. Choosing of path is right of every offspring.” That was snarky, and Einstein didn't have the grace to curl a single tentacle. As impossible as it seemed, Max was liking him less, and he’d started at loathing. There were serial killers Max liked more. Like Harold Shipman. Sure, he killed hundreds of people, but most people said he was a nice guy. Max would put Shipman ahead of Einstein in his list of people he would piss on if they were on fire.
“Rick father?” James looked confused, or at least that's how Max was reading the tentacle curves.
“Let's go back to the ship,” Max said.
“Offspring choose whether to return to ship,” Rick bellowed. “Only abomination of parent chooses path for offspring.”
Einstein stood straighter, his walking tentacle scarred and bulbous even when stretched. “Abomination can be best alternative when only remaining alternative is worse,” Einstein said. James’s large eye swiveled from Einstein to his father and back while Kohei and Xander watched Rick.
“No individual carries enough value to excuse abomination,” Rick insisted. He glided forward, his tentacles reaching toward the front. If Max were being unkind, he might have thought Rick was showing off how many undamaged limbs he had. “You are abomination. I will leave. I offer offspring chance to leave with me.”
Einstein bugled his unhappiness. “Hidden ones required my strength to resist outsider manipulations! Abomination is not abomination when reasonable!”
Max was almost sure his father-in-law was claiming to be the only one who could save all Hidden ones from getting destroyed by aliens. That was a level of arrogance that Max never thought he would see.
“Max father, Rick father, Einstein is a customer of weaponry,” James said. Apparently James was their sweet summer child who was too stupid to pick up on the loathing that filled the room. Either that, or he was actively ignoring it in hopes of still making a sale. Max wasn't sure which.
Rick jerked forward and for a second, Max thought he might physically attack Einstein, which felt like a bad idea on many fronts; the old octopus was too pathetic to attack. “Einstein would use weapons of James against all outsiders.”
When James spoke, his voice was relatively quiet. “Einstein requests weapons for outsiders with intentions contrary to Hidden one values.”
Rick trumpeted. “Which is all outsiders according to definitions believed by Einstein.”
Einstein surged toward Rick, his whole head listing dangerously toward his damaged tentacles before he righted himself. “Outsiders disrespect Hidden ones autonomy and privacy,” Einstein said, embracing his personal brand of xenophobia.
“Einstein disrespects autonomy and privacy of Einstein offspring,” Rick countered.
