Tears sprung into my ears, at the sorrow and mortification I heard in my dear friend’s voice.
“All those years of talking, of planning…and I’d failed within mere months. I felt pathetic. You were my one string tying me back to who I used to be. And sometimes I miss him. He’s not me anymore, but I like to remember him.”
The way he said the words made a pang of hurt reverberate through me.
“And is that all I am?” I couldn’t help but ask. “A memory to you? Someone you can write to when you want to feel better but forget about the rest of the time? Forget the promises we made?”
Luc blew out a breath. “Like I said, we were kids, Erina. It was a long time ago. Nearly a decade. I’m not that person. And if you are…you need to move on. You need to grow up and face reality.”
“I love you and I always will,” I argued. “You were and have always been a brother to me. Years apart don’t change that. You can sit here and try to convince me otherwise. But I know you, Luc Denoren. I always have. And this isn’t you.”
“I can’t give you what you want,” Luc told me, his eyes shining. “I don’t think I ever could.”
“All I want is for you to be my friend,” I said. “I don’t care about anything else. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And if we have to live here in Laras and work at the docks or at inns, then all right. But at least we’ll be together again. We can be in each other’s lives, to some capacity. Wouldn’t that make this life even a little better? To have a friend you can trust and rely on?”
“You’re living in the past,” Luc finally told me. “You should go back to Vyaan. Go work at a noble House. You’ll be more comfortable there. Laras isn’t for you. I barely think it’s for me.”
Luc stood.
“Wait,” I said. “At least tell me how to find you.”
“Don’t,” Luc said, his teeth gritting. He didn’t meet my eyes. “Please, Erina. Looking at you…it just makes me remember Vyaan. Ithurtsto remember. I don’t want to see you, all right? Just leave me be and go home. I’m begging you.”
My chest squeezed tight, shock spearing through me.
Luc put down a handful of small coins on the table. “Goodbye,” he said, gruffly.
“One day,” I said quietly, holding his eyes as I stood from the chair, “one day when you’re walking down the streets of Laras,you’ll look into one of the shop windows and see Kavelyn’s adventures staring back at you.OurKavelyn Denoren, who we poured all our dreams and hopes and fears and triumphs into. Whose name we took for our own, so we would always be tied together. And when you do see our work, I hope you remember.”
Luc closed his eyes when they watered.
“I hope you remember the boy—no, the beautiful soul I knew. BecausethatLuc Denoren saved me in so many ways, and I will always love him for it, no matter what. He protected me. He made me believe in myself. He encouraged me to always keep dreaming and, more importantly, to always keeptrying. I hope you remember him one day too. I will never forget him.”
He leveled me a quiet stare, looking struck by the words and unmoving.
I went to embrace him, breathing in the brininess and his warmth. I felt relief when his arms came around me tight.
“You know where to find me if you ever need me,” I whispered into him. “You’ll always be my brother, Luc. And I’llalwaysbe here for you. But please…don’t give up.”
If he did, it would break the last of my already broken heart.
Then I let him go. We stared at one another until finally, Luc inclined his head. He turned, and I tried to hold my tears back.
When he left Kyndri’s Landing, I couldn’t help but fear that it might be the last time I ever saw him.
The nausea churned in my gut again at the mere thought. Thankfully, this time, I made it to the washroom.
CHAPTER 28
KALDUR
“Raazos’s blood.”
I heard the hushed curse behind me.
“What are you doing here?” I grumbled.
“I can barely see you through all the smoke,” came Thaine’s voice. “Don’t invite a human in here. You might not escape their clutches.”
