“Because we had all these plans!” he burst out, frustrated. “But they weren’t plans, Erina. They were dreams. Dreams so unattainable for people like us. You want to know what happened to the shop?”
I nodded, frowning.
“The noble House next door didn’t like that I was drawing in commoners to the area. He paid off my merchant partner, who stopped selling me goods. No one would trade with me anymore. The price for the shop went up, which was conveniently owned by one of the noble’s friends, and I had no money coming in. I had to close it within a few months. All my money, everything I’d saved since we were children…” he breathed. “Gone.All because of one wealthy noble who’d decided my fate for me. I’d never even had a chance. Toprovemyself.”
“Surely that’s against Laras law,” I argued. “They can’t do that.”
“There was no proof,” Luc said. “It’s my own fault. I shouldn’thave opened a shop in that district, but I’d wanted…I’d wanted to be better. I’d been impatient to be better.”
The confession dropped from him, and it twisted my soul.
“I’d wanted to be likethem. To pretend that I was someone different. Laras had been a fresh start. That’s what it was meant to be—a new life. One I carved out for myself. And a wealthy noble showed me how futile it was to pretend that I was anything but a poor, stupid orphan from Vyaan.”
“Don’t say that,” I told him.
This was so unlike the Luc I’d known, the boy who’d been so full of determination and drive. Who had set his mind on one goal: succeeding in Laras. He’d seen it as his ultimate test, perhaps to prove what he was telling me right now. That he wasmorethan how he’d grown up.
“You can be both,” I told him. “One doesn’t determine the other.”
“It does here,” he said, that same bitter smile crossing his lips, one I’d never seen before. “I learned that years ago.”
“What…where are you working now?”
“The docks,” he finally admitted.
“Fishing?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Sorting exports and imports.”
I looked down at the salt flakes on the table. When he saw me looking, he wiped them away with his calloused palm. They scattered to the ground, and I’d need to sweep them up later.
“I can help you rebuild the shop,” I told him, unable to stand the defeat in his voice, when I reached out to steal his hand again. “We can do it together! I’ll help you this time.”
“No,” Luc said, pressing his lips together as he waved down Kyndri for a fourth jug. “Just leave it, Erina.”
“We can do it!” I insisted. “I have some money saved up. Not a lot, but it can?—”
“I said no,” Luc barked, raising his voice. I reared back. He’dnever yelled at me before, not once. He glared at me now. “Leave it.”
Kyndri came by—sans the jug of brew. “Is there an issue here, Erina?”
“No,” I said, looking up at the Kylorr female, who’d been kind to me. “No, everything’s fine.”
She gave Luc a warning raise of her brow and then went back to the bar. It was quiet at Kyndri’s Landing with only a few patron tables filled, most of whom were looking over at us without trying to hide it.
“I’m sorry,” Luc said, frustration still evident, “but no. I have stable work now. I’m not giving that up for anything. You don’t know what it’s like, Erina…to have nothing. To be hungry. To sleep wherever you can. The things you think you’re not capable of until you’re backed into a corner with nowhere else to go.”
My brow furrowed. I couldn’t stomach this—the defeat and hopelessness I saw in Luc now. It was a tragic, terrible thing.
“The universe isn’t fair,” Luc said, staring down at the wood grain of the table, tracing the patterns with his eyes. “I guess I just expected thatmaybeit would have pity on me after all these years. But I learned my lesson a long time ago.”
I thought about what he’d said for a long time, my gut churning. Finally, I asked, “Then why did you lie to me?”
Luc sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do,” I insisted. “So tell me.”
His shoulders sagged. He picked at a loose thread on his cuff. “Because I couldn’t stand to admit to you that I’d failed.”
