“Enough,” I rasped, turning my gaze onto him. “I do not want to hear your excuses. You got what you wanted. So did the council.”
“I took no pleasure in it,” he assured me, as if it would make me feel better.
“I do not believe that,” I told him softly. His expression tightened at my words, his brows drawing together. “Return to your mate,pujerak. I have no more use for you as my advisor tonight.”
“I am still your friend, Seerin,” he said to my turned back when I resumed my journey to thevolikiI shared with mythissie. “I hope you remember that.”
There were a million cutting things I could have said, but I bit my tongue. Instead, I said nothing and continued on my way, leaving him far behind me.
When I reached the entrance of myvoliki, I closed my eyes, drawing in a deep breath before I pushed inside.
Warmth immediately infused my veins, a shocking contrast to the bitter cold outside. Nelle smiled when she saw me, sitting cross-legged in the middle of our bed, weaving a scarf for Arlah. She’d been working on it all week.
It only took her a moment to realize that my mood was off because her smile slowly died and her hand stilled on the half-finished scarf.
“What’s wrong, Seerin?” she asked, frowning, concerned.
Vok,I can’t do this, I thought. How was I ever going to do this?
I went to her, undressing as I went, shivering. She put the scarf aside and I caught her in my arms, pulling her under the furs.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered, her hands resting on my chest. “What’s happened?”
I shook my head. I lied to her. “Nothing. I just need sleep. I just want to hold you,lysi?”
My answer didn’t satisfy her but she hesitantly settled down against me. “Alright,” she whispered, her breath drifting across my flesh, laying her head in the crook of my arm.
We would talk in the morning, I knew. I couldn’t bring myself to right then, though I knew that I should.
Nik, tonight, I would hold mythissieclose because it could very well be the last time.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Biting my lip, I eyed Seerin, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. I could see tendrils of blue morning light filtering in through the sliver at thevoliki’sentrance. He’d already dressed, as had I, but he’d barely said a word to me this morning. Or last night, for that matter.
“Seerin,” I called, sitting next to him, pulling his hands into mine. He stared down at our entwined fingers before meeting my eyes. I felt like there was a stone lodged in my throat, like my body already knew there was something terribly wrong before he even spoke the words. “Tell me. Did something happen at the council meeting last night?”
He’d been quiet and distant since then. It made the hairs on the back of my neck prickle.
His nostrils flared.
“Nelle,” he said quietly. My brow furrowed because his voice was almost…pleading. He bit out a quiet Dakkari curse and pressed his forehead into mine, his eyes closing.
Fear infused my very bones. “Tell me what’s happened right now, Seerin. You’re scaring me.”
He pulled away. He pulled his hands from mine, his forehead from mine, and stood from the edge of the bed. I stood too, hesitantly.
“Please,” I whispered, furrowing my brow. “Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can handle it.”
“Nelle,” he said, his voice holding a hardened edge. “I have decided…I have decided that this cannot continue.”
I frowned. “What can’t continue?”
His eyes met mine. “Us.”
My breath squeezed from my lungs.
“What?” I whispered.
