Khiva’s chest clenched, but he leaned his forehead against her temple, wrapping his arms around her in an embrace. After a moment, her arms came around his back to return it.
They stood there in silence but Khiva knew. Already he knew, from the tone in her voice. He’d come to know her very well in the past two months.
She’d come to say goodbye. Everything rebelled in him at that knowledge, but somehow, it wasn’t quite real. Not yet at least.
Eventually, Evelyn pulled away, stepping back against the door to put a sliver of space between them.
“I’m not planning to stay long,” she said softly, looking up at him with even softer eyes. Khiva couldn’t withstand the sadness he detected there, knowing that he was the cause. “It just didn’t seem right to cancel.”
Khiva swallowed, trying to prepare himself for what was to come. But the agony in his chest told him that nothing would be able to prepare him.
Evelyn took a deep breath, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips. Even on the verge of suffering, Khiva still needed her. He couldn’t help but remember everything that tongue had done to him.
Another surge of his Rut made his breath hitch and he gritted his teeth, closing his eyes for a brief moment to get control.
“I’ve been thinking a lot, this past week. Too much, perhaps,” she started softly. “I’ve been going over every detail it seems and I’ve come to the conclusion that youdocare for me, despite what happened at our last meeting.”
“I do care for you, Evelyn,” he said, wondering if he had implied otherwise. “Of courseI do.”
For her to doubt that was…unfathomable.
“Just not enough, you mean,” she finished softly. Khiva had to physically move away from her to keep himself from correcting her. He cared for hermorethan enough, that was why he’d done what he’d done. “Not enough to see anything beyond,” she gestured around the room, “here. This room.”
Khiva turned his head to look out the window, needing to center his thoughts. Quietly, he said, “You deserve more than this room, Evelyn. More than me. Can you not see that?”
When he returned his gaze to her, she was shaking her head and then she gave him a small, sad smile, “I never believed that, Khiva. It’s not a matter of what and who I think I deserve. It’s a matter of what and who makes me happy. That wasyou.”
Khiva paced back to the fireplace again, rubbing his hands down his face. He looked down into the flames, remembering the forges on Kerivu, remembering that blistering heat.
“I wish,” he said softly, “you had known me before this. When Kerivu still existed. When I could have given you everything I wish to now.”
Evelyn approached him, her footsteps quiet on the carpet, and she laid her soft, warm hand on his forearm. “I don’t,” she said.
“Kruvu?” he asked, turning to her.
“You are not that same male, Khiva,” she said. “You have not been him since your planet was wrongfully destroyed. You have known pain and suffering since and yet you withstood it all without faltering. You are stronger now because of it, more resilient.Thismale in front of me is who I’ve come to care for most, not who you used to be. I would take you over him any moment of the day.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, his heartbeats skittering. “Leeldra…”
Demav, he loved her. And that knowledge speared him because he’d driven her to this decision. Deliberately.
Their gazes connected and held. Even then, Khiva could feel her retreating and it drove him mad, made him feel more helpless than being chained and whipped by Madame Allegria.
Evelyn cleared her throat, stepping back, before fumbling to find something in the pocket of her overcoat. Khiva’s brow bones drew together when she pulled out a square, translucent card with a silver strip running down the middle, a set of numbers glowing in the corner of it.
Khiva recognized it immediately and he growled, “Evelyn.”
“Just listen to me,” she said, taking his hand and placing the card there, securing his fingers around it. She pulled back before he could reject it. “This has nothing to do with pride or charity, Khiva. This is what isowedto you, what I believed you were being paid during our visits. The credits are yours, legally, so take them. Don’t use them, or use them how you wish, I don’t care.”
Khiva didn’t know how to feel about what she was saying. Whether he should be hurt, angry, or whether he should kiss her senseless. When he looked down at the card, he saw ‘2700’ lit up in the corner. 2700 credits, more credits than he’d seen in his entire time on Everton.
“For six visits,” she murmured, “including tonight’s. It’s what you should have received for our time together.”
Khiva handed the card back to her, though she refused to take it. “I do not want it.”
“Then don’t use it. Give it to Dravka, or the brothers, or even Valerie. But I won’t take it back,” she said.
Khiva shook his head, hardly standing to look at that card, because of what it represented. That she was nothing more than a client to him, that their time together had only been a transaction.
