“They are.”
“Yeah, but I think I want it to happen faster than it is.Especially with you.It would be nice to not struggle to share what I think.I try to sign, but I don’t have the words, and even though I do know what I want to say, I can’t.And texting is nice, it’s more immediate, but it seems weird.”He sent the message.
“I get it.You already know how to communicate, You were taught to talk and to speak English since you were a child.And now that is not available to you and it’s frustrating.Just take your time and give yourself a little grace.”He placed his hand on Harm’s.“Everything is going to be okay.Be patient with yourself.You’re so patient and kind with everyone else, so be the same way with yourself.”
Harm figured that Derek was probably right, but the frustration wasn’t going away.“What about college?”
“They will provide an interpreter for you.That’s what they did for my sister.It’s part of the ADA.They must make reasonable accommodations, and a sign language interpreter is one of them.Though for college, you only need someone to speak for you, and a lot of the work is going to be written.But that bridge is something we can cross when the time comes.Just worry about one thing at a time.”
“Okay.”Harm went back to his dinner and put the rest out of his head.He was probably worrying about a bunch of things that were way in the future anyway.“How are things at the library?”What he actually signed was more direct, but it was what he meant.
Derek sat straighter.“We have a new shipment of books coming in this week, and there should be some that you will really like.I’ll see about putting them aside for you if there aren’t already holds on them.A lot of the new books we get have people who have requested them already.It’s part of the justification for buying them.”
He had books to read and a number that needed to be taken back to the library.For months, his main entertainment had been the simple pleasure of getting lost in a book.But now that he had met Derek and some of the people at work, his reading time had lessened.That wasn’t such a bad thing.He had less time than before, but he was also getting out and meeting new people.
“Everything is going to be okay.It takes time to build a new life.”Harm thought that was probably the truest thing he had ever heard.
DEREK TALKEDfor much of the rest of dinner but kept the subjects light.Apparently they were planning to redo some of the tree wells along the main streets downtown in the spring to include lavender and other hardy perennials in order to help add color to the town.“The garden club maintains the plantings outside of the library for us,” Derek was saying.“They were asked about doing the tree wells too, but it was too big a job for them.They are a smaller group.”
“It will smell nice.”
“That’s one of the things they wanted.Some of the wells will have mint in them.It fills in quickly and will carry an aroma.At least that’s what I’m told.”Harm had never really been interested in gardening or plants, but it sounded like a nice plan to him, and he liked the idea of using plants with a scent.“I told them that when the time came, I’d help.I used to work in the garden with my mom when I was a kid.”
Harm snorted, then motioned like he was mowing the lawn.
“Did you have to do that?I used to hate it, but it was one of my jobs at home.”
He pointed to himself and nodded.That had been one of his chores at Joe and Larry’s.They had paid him an allowance to mow the lawn, shovel the walks, and take out the garbage.They were generous to him, and he remembered the first time they had done it.It was one of the first times he had had money of his own.Before that, he had always been afraid to ask for anything because if he did, then they would move him to another place… again.But Joe and Larry had paid him every week, showed him how to save, and even opened a savings account for him.He hadn’t known it at the time, but they had also put an equal amount aside for him each week.They gave him that money when he enlisted.But Harm had never used it.That money was still in the same account, and he was hoping that someday he could use it as part of a down payment on a home of his own.
“What about music?”
“RADIO,” he spelled.That was the music he listened to.After all, it was free.CDs or streaming songs were something he didn’t have the money for.Many things that the other kids in school took for granted, he had gone without.“I’m a Swifty.”It felt a little strange to admit it, but Derek burst into a grin.
“Me too.I love her music.It just makes me happy to listen to it each and every time.In the car I listen all the time.I use ear buds while I’m at work.”Derek put on “Love Story” and then tugged Harm to his feet.“Come dance with me.”
Harm wasn’t so sure that was a good idea and swallowed hard.
“Come on.You know what they say about a man who can dance….”He waggled his eyebrows, and Harm stood in front of Derek.The song continued, and Derek held his hands, moving to the beat of the music.It was almost slow, seductive, and Harm watched that lithe body move.When the beat picked up, so did Derek, and damned if Harm didn’t start moving as well because… who couldn’t?He was under a spell and couldn’t look away.He knew the words to this song by heart, but somehow they flew out of his mind when Derek took his hands, leading him into the dance.
He had never been very good at this.The few times he’d gone to a school dance and someone got him on the floor, the other kids had laughed at him and that had been the end of it.But Derek watched him in return, and he wasn’t laughing.In fact, his eyes grew darker as he got closer, their bodies moving together.
“That’s it.You’re really sexy when you dance with me.”Derek rubbed against him, and Harm’s mouth went dry.When the song ended, another came on, and Derek moved faster, undulating that body of his, completely entrancing Harm.He forgot to move until Derek tugged him back into the dance.He loved that Derek seemed almost as entranced as he was.
As the song ended, Derek pressed to him and went up on his toes.Harm bent down, and their lips met.Another song began, but he barely noticed with Derek’s sweet lips against his and his arms closing around him.Harm hummed softly and met Derek’s intense gaze.
He wanted him pretty badly.It had been his suggestion to wait until after dinner, but for the last hour or so, he had watched Derek cook and eat and just stand around the room.Every movement had been enticing, but the dance had nearly undone him.
Harm wasn’t quite sure how to raise the subject, but Derek saved him when he took his hand and led him to the stairs.The music had ended, and Derek turned out the lights as they went.“You know it’s okay to talk… or in your case sign or make any sounds you like.”
Harm shrugged and then nodded.
“Just be yourself.You don’t need to worry about everything being perfect.Okay?Things like this aren’t perfect, and it’s those imperfections that make it interesting.”Harm began to wonder just what kind of imperfections Derek had run into.
He snickered, and Derek rolled his eyes.“I’m not some sort of blushing virgin, and unfortunately I’ve kissed a cold fish or two.And I’m sad to say that my last boyfriend was a real dud in the bedroom area, mainly because he was selfish and only worried about himself.”Derek stopped at the top of the stairs.“I know you’re nothing like that at all.”Those few words warmed Harm’s heart, and he only hoped he lived up to them.
Chapter 11
WHEN HARMscooped him into his arms, Derek couldn’t help laughing.“I did tell you that I’m not a blushing virgin, right?”The thought of being carried was almost too funny.Still, the way Harm watched him was too sexy for words, and his chuckles died away.“You can put me down.I do know the way.”
